I'm still alive

'Eat slowly, Chekhala.'

With food in his mouth, the old man holds out a bottle of water and admires me. But I didn't stop the steamy food, and eventually I passed the contents through my throat before I even chewed it. We can't waste a minute. I brought delicious food after a long time, but I didn't even have time to savor them. I just moved my hands and jaws mechanically to preserve my stamina and calorie.

It is now ten minutes before twelve o'clock in the morning. By twelve o'clock, I will lead my party and all the residents across the city of that snow to Eden. It will be a dangerous and variable march, but the whole party has come to agree, so I set a departure time without hesitation. Eden, where our precious people are, is dangerous. I was confident that we would double and triple the risk that came to us.

Eden was in contact with her every half hour, and she didn't forget to tell people in the office and lodging to be prepared for a possible situation. The head of the group, who contacted me directly earlier and heard the details, quickly accepted the seriousness of the situation and suspended all production and personal activities. Residents of Eden have returned to their homes, and the garrison will maintain a 24-hour emergency. And... ...we had to get to Eden as soon as possible.

I am fully armed with all my equipment. And when I stood up and looked back, all the people were in one line, completely armed like me. Residents who need to be protected put into their ranks and take appropriate positions considering the experienced or small number of people. And as the old man stood quietly in front of him, a perfect team appeared in front of him as if it were a piece of work. I nod as I check my wristwatch.

This was a deliberate trap, a conspiracy to draw us out. And the purpose of the men who planned and carried out all this is the burglary of the empty house that literally takes advantage of the absence of power. What would have happened to Eden if I hadn't noticed the plan one step ahead? What about Chae Yeon? What about the kids? What about you and the others? The mere thought of it makes my stomach boil.

And the eyes of the party have been unusual for some time now, as is the case with me. The enemy and the murderous will surrounded the party, and yet the heavy energy was purified with great sharpness. The battle is not a burning flame, but a knife to cut the enemy. The party did not forget it, and swallowed up the flame that was about to burst. Detective Kang, who usually doesn't talk much, wriggled his lips and recited quietly.

'Choi Tae-sik, you son of a...….’

I should've killed him earlier. The slowly blurring backbite was agreed upon by all the party members at the big mart at that time. We killed the vagabonds that day, and smashed them to the hideout where they were living. But I couldn't pull out the roots that led them to my stupid mistake. And the rest of the posterity there was threatening us only now.

I regret it. I really regret it. But things had already happened, and it was time for quick action rather than belated regret. The experience I've been through makes my body move. Despair and frustration trained me, and I answered faithfully. Holding the gun like a flash, I slowly made eye contact with the party. Worst weather conditions, the distance of heavy snow that is never likely to let it pass. And the residents who lack ammunition and poor stamina. Nevertheless, I was the first to prepare for the storm, rather than fear.

* * *

A sea of snow, a city of snow. Even if all modifiers were taken and planted, the white city contained vastness that such words could not explain. Get out of here! Get out of here! The blowing biting wind carried the weapon of snow and began to push me with the party. But never able to back down, we were walking through the mist of our eyes, not a inch ahead. Every time you move your feet, your feet fall down, and your breath mixes with your eyes to make your body heavy. My whole body is already wet with snow.

The speed of movement is too slow. This is not to blame the residents, but the environment did not help us. Still, the residents, who remained considerate, understood our very urgent situation, and were following the group eagerly, holding on to their hard bodies and minds. From far away, I could see a child on Kim Ho-chul's back trying to block the snow from falling from the sky. Yeah, it's just slow, we're not stopping. I thought as positive as possible and focused everything on one step, one step.

'Old man.'

In the meantime, I did not forget to check the time and communicate with Eden. It may be annoying, but the old man took out the radio without a murmur and followed my instructions. Communication with Eden was the same every time. Nothing happened, and no one was found around. We had to ease our anxiety by accepting the simple yet important information every half hour. Am I right? Nevertheless, the nervousness did not go away. I licked my lips, clearing the snow from my hat.

Walking 100 meters took four times as long as usual. Although I'm said to be leading the way, creating the path of the people following me, there was so much snow falling and the biting wind blowing from the front slowed our steps.

Fortunately, there is still plenty of mutated liquid left from the institute. I took out my cherished and cherished variant liquid without hesitation, and I started with myself and sprinkled it generously on my companions and all the residents and children. No one was attacking us during the march, and no other threatening external factors were found.

Are you okay? Let's cheer up a little bit more. The voices of the party are heard from far away. Despite these unfavorable conditions, the atmosphere was not as bad as I thought. In the middle of the line, the group helped the faltering residents and surrounded the children whose feet fell into the snow. And Du-sik must have decided to use his strength after a long time, so he took all the burdens we had to share.

Everyone did their best in their seats. No one grumbled and collapsed, and they try to help each other. I swallowed my saliva and looked forward again. Everyone was moving towards one goal, and I couldn't stand still. I shook my arms and legs hard and moved eagerly so that the road could be seen even a little more.

Coughing.

The sound of a dry cough reverberates quietly. However, the sound is buried in a blizzard that blows hard and leaves no trace of it. I looked up and looked up at the city of snow we had to pass. It's blinding, but so dark.

An invisible lingering feeling in front of me pulled my steps.

* * *

[Don't worry too much. You don't believe me, do you?]

I believe. He's responsible for my nest, why not? Even if we were away for a while, Eden wasn't such an easy place. It would be less than our team, but there was still a trained combat team, and they also have guns that can mostly be armed. Eden was the one who could easily defend hundreds of them right away.

But I couldn't rest assured unless I could see Eden right in front of me. And knowing that heart, Kang Su-ryeon, beyond the walkie-talk, soothed me with a quiet voice. Listening to her voice, I can feel her frozen heart and tension gradually easing.

I gave a quiet sigh of anxiety and anxiety.

At 5 p.m. now, the march to Eden was halted. The sun has already shown signs of setting, and the twilight, hidden in a cloudy sky, hangs between buildings. The distance we've walked is just halfway. I walked that long without a break, but I could only get here. To make matters worse, the heavy snow that began to fall began to intensify, and we had no choice but to rush in for shelter. When the sun goes down, you can't move. The march is practically......... has been postponed until tomorrow morning.

'If anything happens, please contact me.’

I spoke in a serious voice, and on the radio I could hear the laughter of Kang Soo-ryeon, who was shy, not the answer I knew. I've just said it a lot, but it's embarrassing to see her laugh like that. I coughed a few times and talked with her for another five minutes. The place I was in was a cold officetel hallway, but strangely, it was warm as if I were sitting in front of the fireplace. I said goodbye to her with anxiety and anxiety, and she ended the radio with the last word she wanted to see me.

Do you want to have a relationship in this situation? What?'

I am in a daze when I hear her last radio, and the old man comes up quietly from the first-floor stairs in front of me. There was a nagging sound in his mouth, but the old man's face told him it was all a practical joke. The timing was bad. I think all the old men who were coming up from the first floor heard me and her radio. I woke up from my seat, coughing in vain, as if nothing had happened, and asked for no reason to turn the topic around.

Nothing's wrong, man?’

The old man smiled faintly and nodded, and sat next to me carefully. Then he looked out of the window for a while and took out his diary with a map from his bag. The old man had a hand-printed Monami ballpoint pen with a radio.

'Everyone's already asleep, maybe because they're all tired. I've brought you some food, so don't worry....... the problem is ammunition. Here, take it for now.’

The old man rummaged through his bag and gave me two rifle bullets and a pistol. I was asked to give ammunition to someone who was good at shooting, and I think I was included in the list. I nodded my head without a murmur, and took the old man's bullet and stabbed it into my tank pocket. And what was handed over to me was not just a coal mine, but a can with a familiar packing picture.

The old man was silent. I just put all my worries and warmth in front of the food. I accepted the old man's warmth and quietly leaned my back at the end of the hall. And when I opened the can with a dry gesture, I couldn't think of anything in my head. I stared blankly at the contents and asked the old man.

Sir... am I doing a good job?’

Scary. I was afraid everything would disappear like a haze. By my mistake, my existence itself seemed to be meaningless if I lost my party and my precious people for my wrong judgment. But I couldn't tell anyone about this worry and pain. Everyone walks on my back, and everyone is leaning on me. Because I was always a lighthouse that had to light up on the spot......... I couldn't let a single stream of worry and sorrow go at will.

I wasn't acting childish. And I didn't want to curse all this reality and show anger at someone who didn't exist. But the more I did, the more I did, the more this black swamp began to tie me up. Will it be okay? Will it really be okay? I've been lucky enough to make everything a success. But what will happen to me if that luck ends tomorrow? Failure is death, and the end is soon......... was the end of everything. I was so scared and afraid of the situation that might come at any time.

Took.

Someone raised his arm and put his arm around my shoulder. As I turned my head sideways in a daze, an old man smiling kindly was suddenly putting his arm on my shoulder. Wrinkles and hair that are all grayed out by the arduous situation. And the tiredness on his face was showing how hard the old man was suffering.

But the old man was smiling even in that situation.

'At first I thought he was just crazy.’

'What?'

'I can't forget the face I was asking you to come in with me with a rattle of guns. Yeah, let's get a kid....... I've only met a month ago, so let's get a kid.….’

Rest area where we escaped, the eyes of an old man who was shining sharply. Waves of six-sided waves and countless memories of danger passed before my eyes. Passing through the gates of the goshiwon, which felt like a prison, I escaped countless death-rowers. One by one in a hectic passing time fills my empty heart and paints my existence itself. My life was already being completed, just as my diaries were stacked one by one.

'Too hard, huh?

Painful, painful. Living is hell in itself. Sometimes I lay down on a warm floor and settle for the happiness that is given now, and I thought I didn't want to go out again. Every time I walked out of Eden's door, I was always scared. I didn't want to go. When will this pain be over? However, whenever that happened, the light that appeared in front of my eyes was a hope that I did not know where it came from.

Hope. It was like a heavy light. I looked up blankly at the city where dusk began to subside. Soon darkness will come, and falling snow will take our marks and signs of being alive. Yes, the city just existed in its original form, as if nothing had happened.

A space that doesn't change, and we that change in the middle.

On the day of heavy snow, the old man asked me in a quivering voice.

Do you regret coming out of the Gosiwon?’

I shook my head.

'No.'