I'm still alive

The diary said a lot of things he had thought of that day. However, he tried to hide all the information he had written, tore his diary or scribbled with a thick pen to hide it. And then the next day's diary is recorded.]

* * *

'If you're not with me anyway, you're going to die. Make the right choice.’

Run and die, fall and die. I calmly told a woman whose hands were tied not to think of useless thoughts. My face, distorted by vigilance and anger, slowly calmed down in the chill of night, and came at dawn and regained its full reason. And Dawn, just before sunrise, I spoke with honorifics to her still trembling.

I got a lot of information from the items left overnight. However, he judged that there was still much to gain from the woman who knew other truths and vivid situations.

With an old man... ...And I needed a consultation with the group I believed in. And before that, all I could think about was taking this woman to Eden.

'Yes, yes....'

Is it because of my changed attitude? The weak-looking woman nodded her head back and forth, stammering and answering painfully. Her expression showed the resignation of giving up a lot of things while feeling relieved by my much gentler attitude.

Yes, until sunrise she had swallowed her tears and trembled with fear. Just as I thought a lot in the dark, this woman seems to have changed her mind. But I had no reason to catch it, so I slowly raised myself and waited for her to get up. Have a long way to go. This woman must walk on her own feet and follow me.

I turned my back on her rising, and slowly stepped on the steps of the building where we had hidden ourselves. In the window of the cold wind, the light of dawn hangs between the buildings. All the slaughter and yells that were here yesterday have long been eaten by the grey city, and hide their signs like nightmares that passed by last night.

I come out the door and watch out for the guys who might be around. Then beckoned her as she came slowly down the stairs, urging her to walk.

I really couldn't sleep last night. It was partly due to the inconvenience of sleeping and the sniffling from one side, but the biggest reason was the vanity and abandonment that lurked in me. Lying on the floor of the chilly hallways, I was like an empty shell no different from a living invoice. I didn't understand everything about what I had been running for and living with a hazy future.

I felt my body slowly cooling down, staying up all night awake. The lethargy, the fear of nothing. This darkness and night were like cancer cells destroying all my elements. But the light that came so naturally at that moment was created by Dawn through the windows.

And facing the light, I could feel strangely calm. The warmth that licked the skin, the light that always rose in the same place for the same reason, drove away the darkness and the night without any interruption. I could see the darkness running away. And I was conscious of the opportunity to look back on myself.

The efforts and fruits I've made so far whispered quietly in my ears. Stupid, why are you depressed again? You broke the egg and went out. Memory floats like a star. I remembered the child who was still waiting, and all the things I spent that day floating with the Han River. And I had sat down this morning, with my eyes open like a revived man.

And now that I'm walking, I've taken a strong step, spreading out the local map I've been preparing all day long. From now on, he checks to see if there are any of them, and continues to notice the woman walking slowly behind him. I remember the first time I left the city with my party. And the gray city that spread out like a spectacular view still remained.

Nothing has changed, yes, neither have you. The moment I fully recognize and accept it, my heart and body become stronger. Breathe out. There was a lot on my shoulder, but strangely it was so light.

* * *

'Him, it's hard. Wait a minute... ...with a little rest...….’

A woman who couldn't even make eye contact last night now whines after me. Was it because we shared food at the convenience store before? I had a dejected laugh when I saw a woman who was completely relaxed in front of my gentle demeanor compared to last night.

Usually, I wonder if fear can end so quickly. No matter how much I think about it......... this woman had gone mad over yesterday or seemed to live with this personality originally.

'Noisy.'

But I wasn't the one to do the favor. I cut off at once and ignored her request, and now skillfully crossed the seemingly familiar path and continued my steps toward Eden. But the woman was tired or left behind the whole time, and eventually she had a brief lunch break to speed her pace. Literally, it was a woman's convenience. Nevertheless, the woman, who was not used to the forced march, was sweating profusely and exhaling hard.

Just a little further.’

I eventually sighed deeply and asked the woman to give me the last strength. Of course, there was a way to intimidate and forcibly drag him away, but now that he is due to arrive in Eden today, I didn't want to leave a dirty feeling behind.

Of course, you can take a rest. Proper rest was essential for the efficiency of the march. But slowly disappearing routes on local maps were telling us that Eden's main gate would soon be seen. I feel impatient, just like a child going on a picnic tomorrow.

I crumpled the open area map back into my pocket. I drew her from behind, stumbling along. Then he fixes his bag and stomps vigorously forward. Walk for another half hour. When it was time for a woman to be completely exhausted and dragged behind me, a huge Eden door appeared, with a road so familiar in the distance. I breathed out and the woman gulps down with a breath when she sees a fortress of quite a size.

'We're here.’

I swallowed my exhaled breath again and said in a slightly proud voice. Eden, who was attacked that day, had been committed to recovery for that short period of time, and was back in its original form. All the men who were hanging from the wall were gone, and the bodies left behind and the black blood were neatly arranged. And the tight vigilance and the atmosphere that I felt as if I had only seen it from the outside, showed a fragment of the security system that was finally completed after numerous failures.

Eden, who thought it was a place to rest for a while and to work, had long since turned into my home and nest, where my children and my party were leaving their bodies. Watching Eden shake off his nightmares and find himself again....... I felt a sense of relief with pride.

I still pulled a woman gawking at Eden, completely releasing her restraint and slowly walking toward the front door.

The neighborhood was quiet. And every time I moved, the piles of dead bodies I could see were all six-piece mountains made of them. Was it a massive mutiny? There were no wandering men within a 500-meter radius of Eden, and the battle scenes were still vivid throughout the floor. I led a woman across the floor of shells and black blood to watch for signs. And by the time Eden's main gate is in full view, a busy movement is detected, whether or not I was also found in the guard tower.

an iron fist

Tight vigilance. By the time I had twenty steps left at Eden's main gate, the guard tower began pointing at me with all the ready men armed with guns. I didn't want to make an unnecessary boisterous scene there, with the lingering sensation of the attack still lingering.

So he was forced to raise his hands and show a gesture that he didn't want to fight, and diligently turned his eyes to see if there was a face I knew during the guard. Of the total 10 people, however, not a single familiar face security was seen. Ah....... cold sweat dripping down from my forehead with difficulty.

What should I say? Just a few days ago, there was no way for me to prove that I was a member of Eden and held an important position of my own. If there is no way, should I say it in words? I was a very important person in Eden! the sound of eating dog grass If you say that in such an atmosphere where you feel like you'll turn into a hive if you make a suspicious move right away, you'll be in big trouble. I stomped back and opened my mouth that wouldn't fall.

"Well, I...….’

But at that moment it was a guard who was pointing a gun at me that stopped the horse from sticking out of my mouth. He took off his sunglasses and shouted loudly to this side, which contained an emotionless handling of business affairs, not murderous intent and vigilance.

Are you a refugee?’

Evacuation? Refugees coming to Eden? I lowered my head at that moment and realized what I looked like. Dirty bandages and their blood all over the place. And it's been a long time since the black mission uniform, which reveals the struggle at the restaurant. And as I turned my head, a tearful, scattered-haired woman was gazing up at them.

Yes, we were calling for help with our whole body. I laughed and......... nodded. If he's a refugee, he'll be able to get into Eden, right? This is no time to take care of pride.

'Yes, that's right.’

I poked the woman in the side of the absent-minded woman and revealed that she was an innocent refugee, and soon the woman nodded frantically. Then in a flash the gun was cleared away. And the guard, who asked me if I was a refugee, said, pointing in one direction with a gentler attitude than before.

'If you go over there, there's a refugee access office. Go over there and go through due process with the investigation.’

It's not a piece of cake. He kindly gave us directions and procedures as if he were reciting a newly created manual. I flipped my head and looked in the direction the guard pointed at, and I could find there was an exceptionally bustling barrier. The refugee entry office, the first-time agency to see if it has decided to distinguish the influx, has entered my view.

Yeah, it should have been like this from the start. Eden, who has suffered a lot of pain in the influx, has now begun to find the right way, and only after the death of all the group leaders and executives, did the systematic classification work. It felt a little late, but it should be meaningful that it is changing in the right direction. The giant elephant, but Eden, who couldn't look at the details, is moving forward little by little.

'Thank you.'

I lowered my head slightly towards the guard and led the woman. And the moment I take off my steps and walk to the immigration office, the guard who gave me a kind guide earlier calls me up.

My head instinctively turned upward, and I was afraid I might get into a quarrel. But contrary to the worry, the guard threw something instead of a quarrel. I accepted something that fell toward the floor, and soon noticed it was a sweet chocolate bar.

'Well done, mister.'

The guard said so, rewriting his sunglasses. It was a chocolate bar in my hand, a sweet thing to see after a long time, and at the same time, it was a precious snack for someone with a lot of dirty hands. The chocolate bar had melted a lot because I had put it in my pocket.

But the warmth on the wrapper seemed strangely like a medium to feel a person's body temperature. 'Good work, mister.' He would simply say he had a hard time evacuating, but for me it was a kindness that came in a different way.

I poked the chocolate bar deep in my pocket. Then he bowed his head to the guard waving at me with a grin, and soon moved back toward the direction in which he could see the immigration office. Breathing flows out and the breath dissipates like a haze. I was right. Eden, who had suffered a lot, was certainly heading in a good direction.

* * *

an immigration office In fact, I thought the name was grand, but I didn't expect much. Contrary to my belief, however, this building, which was attached to the wall, was more heavily guarded than the main gate, and the ship had been dispatched with a large number of guards. Eyes on me and flashing guns. The military discipline, which had never been seen anywhere else, was strangely emerging from the guards' gestures and eyes. I crept to the waiting line, where numerous refugees were gathered.

Countless shelves have been ruined. And Eden was the only one of those shelves that survived. The last paradise, the last remaining fortress of this city. Eden was busily receiving the refugees, even as it was almost 3 p.m.

Loud and noisy, watery. There were countless staff in front of them doing the discernment work, and more refugees were waiting for their turn than the ship. I become one of them and walk along the shrinking line slowly.

From those who were kicked out by guards to families who passed the discernment safely. This place, where countless people gathered, allowed me to smell people I haven't seen in a long time.

Eden without me, nest without birds. I felt a stream of subtle emotions. Is this feeling of pride? Or is it a bit of course. I missed Chae-yeon and her party so much today. And time passed and my turn came.

'Next.'

a familiar voice The moment I heard the voice, I felt my heart throbbing, and soon caught the woman following me, piercing through the crowd. My heart beats like crazy. And the chatter of bullying my ears had long been gone.

Rolls trembling eyes, and raises one's head in the direction in which a familiar voice is heard. And then, buried in the distance between people, busy writing something......... the dragon arm came into view.

It turns gray in front of course. But I struggled to walk toward the desk wiping away the tears, and held my hand forward among the countless crowds. A crude wooden desk, a dragon-pal sitting there, was doing office work, bowing his head with a look full of water and water.

What the hell are you doing here? Our Yongpal is now recognized enough to do this kind of course. Oh, you think he's tall? Have I lost some weight? He seemed to have grown mentally and externally by showing his manly face. Our Yongpal, yes......... Yongpal. You've been through a lot.

I exhaled slowly, putting my trembling hands on the desk.

Is there anyone else?’

When Yong-pal can't hear the answer, he is irritated without raising his head. And then call the next person and rush me. But I was choked with longing and joy and couldn't answer, and I had no choice but to watch Yong-pal silently fill out the papers.

'Ah! Next! Don't you have it?

What?

Yong-pal called the man after the continuance, and finally put down his pen, and raised his head with an irritated young face. And at that moment, my eyes meet with me in front of the desk.

Time stops. The noisy surroundings become quiet before we know it.

We looked at each other silently for a while. A tear dripped through the much emaciated face of Yong-pal.