"Father, it's Julia. May I come in?
If I did a light knock and I rang like that, I got a slight sign of hesitation and then I got a "go ahead" voice back.
"Excuse me, sir."
Your father's study, when I was little, had the impression that it was like a secret room.
I guess there was a strong image that only your father put it in there and there was a line of difficult books. In fact, there are just a collection of documents and records that the lord has been using at work for generations, such as those that he can't keep in his library.
It's only a study, so I have a separate office. Although it is a weak aristocracy, it is common as a territorial aristocracy. The secretary and the like are both your mother-in-law, and now Merek packs them in the name of study, so as a father, you're either narrow shoulders, or you're easier.
None of this is,... No, if Merek's engagement looks into it, it's where Merek will use it from now on.
Of course, I don't care who came in. If you have permission from the Lord, or Lord's Agent!
Your father seemed to keep a large old booklet back on the shelf.
Are you cleaning up because I'm here, and if so, I'm just a little sorry. But if I miss it now, your father and I have time to talk quietly... yeah, because we have Merek's engagement story issues. I feel like now is the best time.
Good morning, Father.
"Oh...... good morning Julia. Did you sleep well?
"Yes, thanks to you....... May I have your time now?
"What!?
"What!?
what is that reaction!! It hurts a little...?
I'm not even going to say that my daughter, who hasn't been home in a long time, will have an inspiring reunion with her father and daughter... but shouldn't I think about having a little parent-child conversation or something?
No, maybe this reaction.
"... I never thought I would want to see your father...?
"Oh, no, you're not, Julia!?
'Cause that amazing face.
Doesn't it seem like the only thing I'm going to come back to say is duty and parent-child fences?
No, maybe that's what I've made you think so far. That's a little, no. Honestly, I was pretty shocked as far as I'm concerned.
(I guess it's the one that deserves it)
Still.
Still, a little bit, because I'm loved as a daughter. Does that mean I was sitting there in limbo? I exchanged letters, and I've sent them sometimes. I've never even missed a card or gift for your father's birthday.
I'm reflecting on you, I don't like to be asked if you're married yet, and I don't really go home, and I'm reflecting on the fact that I didn't return to my family with all my heart wanting to stay by your Primera and be happy.
But I didn't mean to scorn my family at all.
That's why I wanted to protect your father because of that summer day commotion, and then I wanted to cry a little bit about what he said 'poor daughter' while he said he was still showing me around!
But.
Summer day, because there was so much going on.
But.
That time you came to see me, because it was a royal castle.
Therefore, I behaved like Rin with princess palace lead lady. Not now, now, of the Fandid family, me, the eldest daughter. Even though it's just Julia.
"... Father... am I such an unfaithful daughter to your father"
"Damn, that's not happening, is it? What's wrong, why are you going to cry so much!!
"Because your father... your father just felt sorry for me for not being like your mother"
"It's..."
Oh, no. I don't want to blame your father.
But I won't go back to the words that popped out of my mouth. I think I've had a similar reflection before, but I guess I may be clumsy in this way when I'm not the “lead maid” after all.
"It's undeniable"
And because your father will clearly affirm it.
You could have spoiled me for lying but "that's not true" at times like this. Would it be too self-serving to think that way?
"But now your castle service wasn't a bad thing. I take it seriously. Even this."
"Even this."
I accidentally recited it!?
Not only did you notice how I looked like that, but your father sighed out loud and sat down in his study chair.
"I thought you'd be relieved if you worked in a customary castle and married someone there. As for the Fandid family, we'll be able to do it as fine as ever..."
……
"But you're not coming back, and my wife tells me that you're late for your wife, and that's all I hear, and my relatives tell me, stupidity. Still, given that it would be good for you, I thought it was natural."
……
Marry, have children, make lateral connections, support husbands... of common aristocratic women, the way of life.
That is happiness as a woman, in the capacity of Viscount Lady, and that is the surer path of tranquillity than birth.
Because the Viscount Fandid family did not see any extraordinary figures. By living conservatively, you must have protected your clan. That's why even your father took that for granted, and he still takes it for granted. And my mother-in-law is also very inclined to do that, so I'm going to understand that my feelings of living and working are hard to come by.
For what I remember in my previous life, I said that I was completely different from the one who couldn't resist the thing called 'Working Woman'... but to break it off with that, I guess I have too much love as a flesh parent.
"But as you saved me, you supported Her Royal Highness in the position of lead samurai, from which you carried good fortune to Melek!
"... oh, Tosama"
On top of that, your Royal Highness and the Baum family have begun dating the Baum family's son, albeit extensively.
Oh, Father.
Father.
Please, look at me.
I certainly wouldn't do it for the Fandid family. But I'm not doing anything that would be sacrificed just to enrich the house.
That's what I want to tell you. I just have to grab my skirt.
Your father keeps talking with a calm face. That one, I'm sure, yeah. I guess you're going to be complimenting me.
"If the marriage between Her Royal Highness and His Royal Highness is over, there can be a breakthrough, so hurry up with the Baum family's son while you can... Julia?
"Father, I am. Am I that stupid and pathetic daughter?"
"... Julia?
"Merek has the qualities to be recognized by Count Celeste irrespective of Merek's own ability and my presence, and she is also the person Miss Ortans has chosen for herself. Even if I was somewhat involved, there's a reason I was chosen, that's all."
"Duh, what's wrong?
"... I..."
And the back of my nose hurts, and my eyes get hot.
I need to calm down, and the more your father panics even though I think so, the rougher my feelings in me get.
(Your father doesn't know why I'm angry)
Yes, you wouldn't know if you hadn't told them why.
Still, I'm speechless about it. The whirling frustration and anger in me. At the heart of it is sadness.
I don't have them. I alternate, and I can't find the words well. I feel like if I open my mouth, all I get is complaints. I don't want to do that.
"... excuse me, I will. Now I'm good, I think I can talk, I don't, from..."
"Yu, Yulia!?
"I'm sorry, Father"
Yeah, I knew I wasn't a good adult or anything.
Not yet, just immature.
If you're not in the position of a samurai, maybe you're just an impatient, worldless codmo.
(A little, chill, gotta be......!!
I was hoping to get my time with your father back by then.
I brutally wiped the tears in my eyes with my sleeves and decided to return to my room once.
"Julia?"
"... good morning, mother-in-law"
"What's wrong, you're crying?
"No."
My mother-in-law, who showed up, looks at me with a decent face.
I couldn't help but lean down before my mother-in-law.