"Master... what does that mean?
I didn't understand the meaning at all.
No, I understand the meaning of words themselves. My master has a sister, and I hear that he is married and has children. The child is a year younger than me and says he is a very adorable girl.
My master seems to be cute every time I see him, and there was talk that I would meet him one day.
I didn't understand what it meant for me to live in such a place.
I was going to be by my master's side to pay for my sins from now on, but all of a sudden I was stunned by what I wasn't expecting.
"It means exactly what you say. We shouldn't be close for a while."
"... why? I... thought I'd always be by my master's side..."
Leak a small voice.
As in the old days, I was going to take care of my master, but... does that mean that the future won't come?
So how am I supposed to live from now on?
"Ray and I both had too many deaths in that war. Besides, my lower body stopped moving. Every time Ray takes care of me, you'll keep thinking it's your fault. Even if you say I'm not."
"That's...."
That was true.
No matter how much Master is not my responsibility, I will continue to think that it is my sin. Believe that taking care of her will be a redemption.
"You don't have to atone for me. This is the result of my actions and not your responsibility. That's why we'll need to look back at ourselves once we're away."
"... yes"
I'm not entirely convinced.
But maybe it is. If I were with the members of the Special Selection Unit Astral, I would be irresponsibly surprised. And you will live your days of regret. If you're stronger, if you're more active, you don't have to lose people...
"I'm thinking of hiring a maid from now on. I just had a helper. And I'm going to quit my army and live as a researcher."
"... are you a researcher?
"Ah, I thought I'd better systematize what you put together in your report. I've been thinking about this for a long time."
"... is that so?"
Before I met my master, I submitted a report on my experience and new magic. Perhaps the Master is referring to the Anti-Materials Code.
Anti-material codes as well as anti-material codes are potentially present in substances and phenomena that exist in this world. I found it, and I put it together in a report.
I thought it might help.
"Ray"
Ringing voices come into your ears. I'm not crying now, but I didn't know how to express this feeling. I just don't know my future. How do I live from now on?
How do I live in a world without a master?
But I understand a little bit. I'm sure it's not good to think like this. You shouldn't be leaning against your master forever.
That's why she thought about me and made me a suggestion.
"It's not like we'll never see each other again. I'll see you regularly."
"... yes"
"This is not the farewell of this life, and we have a life ahead of us."
"... yes"
"Think slowly about how you live your future."
"... okay."
When I lowered my head, I left the ward.
I didn't know how to face this unspeakable emotion at all.
The next day.
I was admitted to the hospital for another week, but I came to a place because I was granted permission to go out. It is a hill with beautiful sunsets in the kingdom, and there were many tombstones there.
I had flowers in my right hand, and I was the only one who came to his... Howard's grave.
I've already attended his funeral, and... time has passed. I can also face Howard's death calmly.
"... Howard. The war is over."
Slowly add flowers.
There were plenty of other flowers and things he liked. Perhaps the members of the Special Selection Unit, Astral, were also here.
I talk to Howard in the sunset.
"Howard, I... killed a lot of people. There were many lives that could be saved, but many that could not be saved. Howard's death... is not entirely within our grasp. As usual, when the days come when we're together... we're delusional..."
I know I haven't heard back, but I'll keep talking.
"It seems that I will take care of you at Master's sister's house from now on. They're going to live as Ray-White from now on... but I have no idea. I can't predict what will happen to my path, which I could only fight."
What advice would Howard have given me if he had been alive?
Would you smile and send me out?
Or...
"When a man who could only fight can no longer fight, what path to follow... I still don't know. Master seems to live as a researcher. Howard always bought it from his master, but I'm sure he'll be a great researcher. It's Howard's turn to buy it."
I smiled lightly.
Howard must be laughing at me. I smiled a lot, but I recovered enough to say it lightly.
"... Howard. I'll be back. I want to report myself regularly. Howard always worried about me."
I was crouching down to his grave and talking, but I stood up on the spot.
The wind blows.
I stared at the sunset in front of me, holding my hair down.
The Far East battle ended.
I was given time to mourn the death of my companions and stare at myself.
But I still... don't know how to live.
There are no members of the Special Selection Unit "Astral", which is why... the Master is no longer there. New days are coming.
Hopefully, I will find my way forward ─ ─.