I'm Afraid I Won't Be Able to Leave

Leah Sinclair went inside to have a look. The sales associate didn’t ignore her for being dressed so casually; instead, she patiently explained the differences between the various fabrics. In the end, Leah chose a white one.

When it came time to pay, she gritted her teeth and swiped her card. ’Oh well. It’s just like Asher Keating said: know when to save and when to splurge.’ Then, a single shirt set her back twelve thousand, and that was considered one of the cheaper items in the store.

As the sales associate bagged the shirt, she smiled and said, "Buying this for your boyfriend, are you?"

Leah blushed as she thanked the woman and took the bag. She was too embarrassed to say he was her boyfriend. After buying the shirt, she went straight home. The expense was too painful; she couldn’t bear to shop anymore.

Back home, she tossed her own clothes into the washing machine. But she didn’t dare throw this expensive shirt in with them. As she recalled the sales associate’s cleaning instructions and began to hand-wash it, she grumbled to herself, ’To think I have to wait on a piece of clothing hand and foot. It’s more high-maintenance than a king.’

Asher Keating returned much earlier than she had expected. She had just finished eating and cleaning up when he walked in. She was just getting ready to shower when Asher wrapped his arms around her for a kiss, and she caught the distinct smell of alcohol and a hint of perfume on him. Her body stiffened. It was the perfume Madeline Sterling had been wearing last night; she remembered it.

Asher sensed her stiffness and simply said, "She went to see my grandfather, and we had a meal together. Run me a bath. I’m tired and want to soak for a bit."

"Alright, just a minute."

Leah said nothing more. Asher didn’t really need to explain himself to her, but the fact that he did was enough to dispel the unease in her heart. She knew their two families were deeply entangled in ways she could never sort out, and it wasn’t her place to ask.

Asher sat on the sofa, smoking and thinking about what happened that evening. Madeline Sterling... no, to be more precise, it was the Sterling Family’s wish for Madeline to marry him.

He had been summoned to dinner that night. The official reason given was that Madeline Sterling had returned after a long time abroad, so he should go and see her. In reality, both overtly and covertly, the main branch of the Keating family was trying to push the marriage. His own parents, knowing he wouldn’t agree, were running interference and trying to refuse on his behalf.

The old Mr. Keating, however, hadn’t taken a side. He neither agreed nor disagreed, merely stating that it was a matter for the younger generation to decide for themselves. He was old, he said, and wouldn’t get involved in such things.

As Asher looked up, he spotted the white shirt hanging on the balcony. ’Didn’t I throw one out yesterday?’ he thought. ’Surely this girl didn’t retrieve it to wash it just to avoid being wasteful.’ He got up and went over for a closer look, realizing it wasn’t yesterday’s shirt. It was clearly new. When Leah came out and saw him looking at the shirt, she said, a little embarrassed, "I bought that for you this afternoon."

Asher chuckled. "You could bear to?"

"I could."

As if Leah would dare admit she couldn’t. Asher could tell just from her expression how much it had pained her. He smiled and pulled out his phone to transfer her the money.

Leah quickly stopped him. "No, I don’t want it. You said it yourself this afternoon—know when to save and when to splurge. I was happy to spend money on this."

Asher raised an eyebrow, put his phone away, and pinched her cheek. "Looks like you’re learning."

"The bath is ready," Leah mumbled, rubbing her cheek.

"Mm."

Asher stripped off his clothes as he walked to the bathroom. Leah gathered what he’d discarded. She didn’t dare try to wash the suit herself, but the sales associate that afternoon had taught her how to read the care labels, so she knew how to wash the shirt. She also had her own clothes from after her shower to deal with, and she set her delicates to soak separately.

While she was washing the clothes, a call came in from Sheila Hughes. Leah’s hands were wet, so she put it on speaker and set the phone down nearby.

"Leah! Leah! Did you hear? Henry Lowell is getting married!" Sheila Hughes’s voice boomed from the speaker.

"Henry Lowell? Which Henry Lowell?" Leah couldn’t place the name right away.

"Tsk! Senior Lowell! *That* Senior Lowell!" Sheila prompted.

Then Leah remembered. Back in school, they had always just called him "Senior," so she’d forgotten his real name.

"Well, isn’t that nice? What’s the big deal? Don’t tell me I have to get him a gift or something. We haven’t spoken in ages," Leah said, joking.

"What are you talking about? Do you know who he’s marrying? You’ll never guess! It’s May Coleman from our class! Tell me you’re not pissed! Are you not pissed?!" Sheila was obviously furious, or she wouldn’t have called Leah the second she found out.

"May Coleman? Why would I be angry about him marrying her?" Leah was baffled. She didn’t think the two of them had even interacted much. What did it have to do with her?

"How can you not be angry? Back when Henry was chasing you, May Coleman was constantly confessing her feelings to him! And they say it’s a shotgun wedding, you know. You..."

"Wait, when did he ever chase after me?" Leah cut Sheila off.

Sheila was so flabbergasted she nearly choked. "He wasn’t chasing you? What about all those times he brought you breakfast, dropped off study materials, and saved you a spot in the study hall or the library before exams? You’re unbelievably dense! We used to debate whether you were genuinely clueless or just pretending to be. Now I’m convinced you genuinely had no idea."

Leah was stunned too. It was true, Henry Lowell had done all those things. "But he never said anything! Who chases a girl without saying a single word about it?"

"As if you would’ve said yes if he had!" Sheila was exasperated. "It’s not like you were short on confessions in our junior and senior years. Did you say yes to any of them? Nope, not a single one." Back then, all Leah cared about was classes and her part-time jobs. Sheila had managed to date twice, but in their dorm, Leah was the only one who never had.

"Dating gets in the way of making money. What’s so great about it?" Leah laughed.

"Besides, have you forgotten what people said about me when we were freshmen? That I was from some small town, totally unsophisticated and dull. You guys were the only ones who didn’t mind and were willing to include me. If I hadn’t started hanging out with you all and picking up on your fashion sense and learning how to present myself better, what would they have even seen in me?"

"Tsk. Fine, forget the others. But what about that guy from the photography department, Zane Sawyer? He was chasing you right from the start, wasn’t he?"

Zane Sawyer was a photography major in their year. Back in their sophomore year, he had taken a candid photo of Leah and posted it to the campus network, trying to find out who she was so he could confess his feelings, which brought Leah a lot of unwanted attention at the time.

"Oh, I really have him to thank for that," Leah said sarcastically. "If he hadn’t posted my picture on the campus network, my last two years of college might have been a bit more peaceful!"

The memory alone was enough to make Leah fume. After the photo went up online, she had received not just attention but also a torrent of malicious comments. Hiding behind the anonymity of the internet, people relentlessly attacked her. For a while, Leah was so scared she didn’t dare go anywhere besides her dorm and her classrooms—she wouldn’t even risk the cafeteria.

"...Never mind. That really was a terrible experience."

Sheila recalled that period as well. "Sigh. Hey, Leah, when are you going to start dating? Our major was full of men! So many men! Couldn’t you have just picked one? Okay, fine, the guys in school were all just immature kids. But you’re working now! Is there really no one at your company who’s caught your eye?"

Leah paused her wringing. Dating... it seemed like such a distant concept. Before, she hadn’t wanted to. Now, she didn’t dare. Leah gave a bitter smile. "What’s so great about being in love?"