Chapter 41: Blue
The question was... what does Ethea want?
Soren turned it over for a moment, then accepted that he had no answer. He had been living in the same house as her for weeks now. He had cooked for her every single day and sat across from her at every meal, yet he still did not know something as basic as what she actually enjoyed.
That was a problem worth fixing.
He waited until Ethea woke up on her own. Once they had settled into breakfast, he set down his spoon and looked across the table at her.
"Ethea."
Ethea glanced at him.
"I was thinking of taking you out today." He kept his tone casual, as if the idea had only just crossed his mind rather than occupying his thoughts since dawn. "Anywhere you’d want to go?"
Ethea, who had been watching the steam rise from her bowl, slowly lifted her gaze to meet his. An unfamiliar look crossed her face, as if he had asked a question she never expected to hear, leaving her entirely unsure how to respond.
A long silence stretched between them.
"...Outside is fine," she said quietly.
Soren looked at her for a beat longer. She was not going to give him a direct answer, and he understood why. So, he just picked his spoon back up and nodded.
"Alright. Leave it to me then."
’Guess I still have to choose the place myself.’
He let the thought pass without dwelling on it and picked up his spoon again. They ate in silence for a minute before he tried a different approach, keeping his voice casual.
"Do you prefer peaceful places? Or somewhere with a few more people around?"
Ethea glanced at him briefly. "...Quiet."
"Got it." He nodded, filing that away. "What about colors? Do you have a favorite?"
Ethea paused.
’...’
A slight crease appeared between her brows, and a flicker of suspicion showed in her eyes.
"...Why are you asking these?" She muttered.
"Well..." Soren started, then paused, closing his mouth.
He set his spoon down and rubbed the back of his neck.
"It is just that..." He struggled for a moment to find the right words. "I realized I do not actually know anything about you."
"We’ve been married for a while now, and I cook for you every day, I’m with you every day, and yet... I know almost nothing about you."
Ethea blinked. She studied his face, searching for any trace of mockery or a hidden motive, but his expression was completely sincere.
"I do not know what you like," he continued, his voice easing the tension between them. "I do not know what you dislike, or what makes you happy or sad. I don’t even know what makes you angry. So yeah, that is why I am asking."
He leaned forward slightly across the table, looking directly at her. His gaze was steady, holding her attention.
"Ethea... I want to know more about you."
"!"
Ethea’s heart stopped.
Not literally. But it felt that way. One moment it was beating normally, and the next it just... seized. Frozen in her chest like everything else in her body had been frozen for months.
Then it started again. Faster. Harder. Pounding against her ribs like it was trying to break free.
She could feel the heat rising up her neck, spreading across her cheeks. Her face was burning. She knew it must be red, probably bright red, and she could not do anything to stop it. She could not look away. His eyes held her in place, steady and warm and so completely sincere that it made her chest ache.
No one had ever looked at her like that.
No one had ever said those words to her.
She thought of the nurses who managed her physical care without ever wondering about her mind. She thought of the attendants who routinely washed and dressed her, handling her like a piece of breathing furniture. Most of all, she thought of her family, who had chosen to just send money rather than visit, dismissing her condition as unfortunate before returning to their own lives.
They had all looked at her and seen a patient, a burden, or a ghost.
None of them had seen a person.
Yet here was Soren, sitting right in front of her, trying to figure out her preferences as if they actually mattered. As if she actually mattered.
’...Gulp.’
Her throat tightened. Her eyes stung, but she quickly blinked the moisture away. She refused to cry. Not now, and especially not in front of him.
She tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t form. They stayed trapped deep inside her, tangled in a rush of emotions she had not felt in years.
All she could do was look at him.
She looked at his eyes, which had not left hers, and his face, which held no impatience or frustration. There was no sign that he regretted asking. He was simply waiting, giving her space, letting her sit with his words and decide what to do with them.
The silence stretched, yet it felt peaceful. It was nothing like the quiet she was used to, the kind that meant people had given up on waiting for her to respond. This was different. This silence seemed to say, I am here. Take your time...
Her heart was still racing, and her cheeks still burned. Yet, beneath the overwhelming rush of these new emotions, another feeling began to settle.
It felt gentle. It felt warm. It felt like hope.
It... It was something she had not felt in a very long, long time.
She swallowed, forcing her throat to work.
"...Blue."
Finally, the word slipped out, barely above a whisper. She was not even sure he had heard it.
But Soren nodded.
"Blue," he repeated, his voice gentle. "It makes me think of the vast oceans and the endless skies. It is the kind of color that represents freedom and a sense of calm." He nodded to himself, his tone earnest. "It is really beautiful."
As he spoke, he focused on her again. He went quiet for a heartbeat, his brow lifting in a silent ’oh’ as he compared the thought to the woman sitting in front of him.
"Just like your eyes, actually."