In the mansion garden where Elsa and I live, there are trees planted with strange flowers, like cherry blossoms and not cherry blossoms.
I've had a routine looking up at this guy the last few days.
Beautiful.
But this isn't the view I wanted to see.
Japanese cherry blossoms have a gentler color.
I don't wear red flowers like this, like blood.
I was summoned to this world, and it was almost my fourth year.
Spring of eighteen.
If I had been in Japan, I would have been harassed by the results of my college exams.
Or would you have followed your middle school dreams and gone as far as college as possible to be a game creator?
Alternatively, he might have chosen his way to get a job as a high school graduate.
- It doesn't matter.
With the possibility that I didn't get anything, all I have now is the title of a brave man and Elsa.
"Brave man."
Everyone in this world calls me by that title.
But I never felt happy about it.
Even if you are honored for strength and bravery, one thing doesn't resonate with your heart.
Killing enemies has very little accomplishment, just a sense of sin.
Maybe the Asians have a family too. Thinking about it, I'm not happy to be happy.
Feel the meat gouge.
Splashing blood bumps.
Filled with physiological disgust, the days of battle.
Still, it's better than when I got here.
Every time I fought, I became dull.
If necessary, we can now slaughter our enemies mechanically.
In time, you may not feel guilty either.
A boy middle school student who wanted to create a game that entertained people became a brave man who tragically killed his enemies in order to reassure people.
What the hell is this life worth?
People who are just strong, they're not human anymore.
If you just kill and win, even the bear in that corner can do it.
... No.
You met Elsa.
Isn't that enough?
That's why I was born.
It makes sense to be summoned to this world.
My life is not worthless.
Try to tell yourself and go back to the mansion.
Open the front door and continue in the back with your shoes on.
When I was in Japan, I first took off my shoes and then went up to my house, but it was something I was used to.
"Morning, Kaiske."
Upon entering the living room, Elsa came out of the kitchen.
A young lady is funny when she ties her long hair behind her back and wears a loose piece.
"Morning, Elsa"
I smile and hug Elsa. Thin and soft bodies are going to break if you really hug them.
It was very different from my body, which was getting stronger and thicker.
"... Kaiske, do you like those flowers?
"You were watching."
"Through the kitchen window, the garden looks good"
"I have a tree that looks a lot like my hometown. It's called cherry blossom."
Cherry blossoms do not exist in different worlds. I couldn't translate it into local language, so I had to teach it in Japanese pronunciation.
"Sakura.... cute name"
Elsa speaks Japanese with Katakana pronunciation.
"Right? So in my country, it's like I used it for a girl's name."
"Do you like those flowers?
"Oh. I think all Japanese would like it. Enough to go around purposefully rewarding the time of bloom in the spring. So, bring some booze, some food, and we'll all make a scene watching the cherry blossoms."
"Sounds fun."
"It's fun, it's awesome"
Elsa asked why cherry blossoms are so popular.
"Because it scatters right away. And flashy, clean."
"Do they like to scatter?
"... Japan is a little different. There's more to finding aesthetics in death than life."
"Beautiful to die?
"I know suicide is the worst thing you can do in another country, but they thought it was an honorable act for a warrior who lost the war to take responsibility and die. There were times when lovers took their hands off each other and thought it was romantic."
"Is this a country where many people want to die?
"... well now it's turning into a trend that suicide isn't good... Still, I think there's an aesthetic of death at the root. If it's enough to survive by rinsing muddy water, I want to scatter it beautifully, like. Cherry blossoms have long been loved and scattered with beauty."
Elsa had her neck clenched.
It is suspicious how far it has passed on to her, born in another world.
"... you may find out"
"Is that true? You don't have to worry about it."
"Yeah. I know."
Elsa is snorting in my chest.
"I want to die young, too, if I'm old enough to be a wrinkly old lady and Kaiske hates me. While Kaiske loves me, I want to die."
"Oh, come on, I don't hate Elsa when she's a grandma."
You're a worrying guy, and I stroke your head.
Black, shiny, straight hair. Hair like a Japanese woman. Touching brilliant straight hair, which is rare for people from different worlds, I feel the illusion that I have returned to my hometown.
"... does Kaiske talk to the soldiers around him? I think Keiske, who likes Sakura, is the opposite of the soldiers in this country."
"You can't fit."
Naturally.
We are right because we believe in the only absolute God, as if we don't doubt ourselves. Neither the sense of religion, nor the lack of forgiveness for enemy soldiers, nor the obsession to the ugliness of life, all fit perfectly with me, the modern Japanese.
"Elsa's the only one I can forgive."
"... what about Mr. Phyllia and the others?
"I haven't been very good with those guys lately."
Phyllia is loud that she shouldn't see Elsa very much, and Erin doesn't seem to think Elsa well either.
The teacher... doesn't put it to attitude, but he was opposed to living with Elsa.
"Does Kaiske trump his people other than me? Is that all right?
"That's fine. I don't need anything but you."
"... yes"
I don't need anything other than Kaiske either, Elsa mutters.
"I can't get along with a woman in town"
"... well. You can't make friends inside, Elsa."
"If you say you like to barbecue rats, they'll all run away"
"Oh, that's..."
Elsa grew up in a goblin nest anyway, so her food preferences have changed slightly.
He cooks human dishes with care against me, but when he's alone, he's cooking nasty goblin dishes...
"I'm not sure how good rat food is, but I also know that it floats with food preferences. If you try to eat raw fish or raw eggs, they won't pull you off."
"You tried to make another pair of scissors? The cuisine in Kaiske's country is different."
"I just don't want you to tell me!?
Goblin food was delicious, and Elsa swelled her cheeks.
All right, all right, well, it's not a good idea to make fun of each other's growth, and I'll make a flat apology.
"Not just food. There are plenty of other things that don't suit the women in town. I don't want to dress so badly. I'm not interested in what kind of life the neighbors have. I don't even understand the feeling that my husband hates me. Human women are different."
"Aren't you human, Elsa?"
"I'm not a person who grew up in a human town. I'm not a normal person."
"... but hey"
"So is Kaiske. I'm not a person who grew up in this world. It's not normal."
"Elsa?"
"I've been worried sick. I'm not a proper person. I treat foreign bodies everywhere I go. But besides me, I was out of company. The man takes care of me. Kaiske is like me, an unusual person"
So I like it, Elsa says.
"My life makes sense because I met Kaiske. Life before I met Kaiske is not life."
"... you want me that good?
"Except for Kaiske, I don't need it"
to words of love that even feel threatened somewhere,
"Me, too."
Answer.
I whisper that we look a lot alike and suck on our lips.
I don't need anything but Elsa.
I don't mind being hated by everything but Elsa.
I don't know who else... I don't care anymore.
If they told me to choose between Elsa and the world, I wouldn't hesitate to choose Elsa.