As soon as I left the bakery, I blinked at the person I saw in front of me before I raised my face.
"Dear Nica, why are you here……………………."
"I told you I was going to see you again."
"No, I told you, it was yesterday today. It must be too soon."
When I laughed because I was crazy, Nica laughed with me.
Me and Lady Nica walked out side by side on the road to my house with nature without having to say anything. Because that was the usual thing.
The only difference is that the escorts who follow me are five people because they don't know who they are anymore. I guess we need this number of people to replace those two.
Everything else is as usual. That should do it.
I open my mouth to turn away my thoughts from the sound of my early heart for some reason.
"What happened to Lili after that? Nica would know, wouldn't she?
It was normal for us to talk about Lili.
"Liliana...... right, what did you say?"
"Huh? Is it such a bad thing that Nica cages her mouth in response?!
I remember Lili's moment of attempted suicide and a look full of dark despair, stuffed by Lady Nica.
But Nica looked troubled but didn't look pathetic, so she quickly regained her peace. If Lili's current situation was more or less serious, Nica would also be giving Lili priority over coming to see me so soon right now on the boulder.
"Right...... from what I've told Liliana this afternoon, the conclusion is that nothing has changed in the situation. But Liliana has changed. Seth also changed. So no matter how it ends, it won't be like we're worried anymore."
It was an abstract word, but I probably felt exactly what Nica was trying to tell me. Oh well, I smile and nod.
Things haven't changed. That means that Lili remains engaged to Seth, and I'm sure the pattern has never progressed rapidly between the two of us. I don't even know how Seth feels about me right now.
But they changed their minds. The world you're looking at has changed, and perhaps the path you're trying to take. Then it's okay. Me, too, I think.
It doesn't matter if they end up separated or hurt each other. Lili and Seth, it's okay.
"I didn't ask for details either. Those two have known each other for a long time, though. I guess there are moods and bonds that I don't know about. Nothing seems alienating."
"... Huh? Lili and Seth have been dating for a long time?
I get hooked on words and ask Nica back.
Lili and Seth have known each other for a long time. Such information is nowhere in my memory. Of course some of the games in my previous life, but also some of the ones I've lived in this world for sixteen years.
Nica looks at me like that and looks at my face.
"Phee wasn't really interested in Seth..."
"Huh? Huh? Are you scared of me?
"Seth and Liliana have been friends since before Phee and Seth got engaged."
"Huh? Huh?!
There was an unexpected loud voice.
No, because I was only five years old when I was engaged to Master Seth. In other words, Lili and Seth had been friends even before they turned five.
"Seth is authoritarian with all my strength, and I still don't have many close friends around. For Seth, Liliana has always been my best friend."
"Why don't I know that?! I was your fiancée for once?!
"As much as I'd like to ask... Daimyo, Phee has never asked Seth a friendship question because she's not interested, and Seth didn't want to talk about a woman even though she was a friend to someone she liked in Seth"
What a convincing reason to go so far as to be...! Indeed, at the time, I was only asking moderate questions and gavels to such an extent that I didn't think I was listening, just smiling at the bragging that Seth spoke to me of her own volition and my utter desire!
You don't talk about other women against your fiancée even though you haven't asked me that, do you, Seth? Maybe they talked about playing with friends without giving Lili her name, but the truth is in the dark because I don't have any memory of the conversation I had with Master Seth.
"But that's why I've been out in the same social world and said hello to Lili, so I usually notice, right?
"Right, usually."
"I realized how I lived in a tight, narrow view at the time."
Even when Lili and I first met, I knew how Lili looked at Ladillo, and even though she looked younger than that, I didn't recognize Liliana Inocy as the one in front of me until she greeted me. You heard his name and saw him twice where he was about to recirculate him like any other aristocratic child, and then you pretended you didn't know anything again. A nostalgic memory.
Lili, on the other hand, said she was convinced that I was the main character from the first glance.
……
……
The story is over, and some restless, ticklish, embarrassing silence flows.
Was there ever a silence with Nica that made her so refreshing and restless? I feel completely different from yesterday's silence in the carriage heading to the royal palace. What is this? Whatever you want, I want to get out. Shake something next. As soon as possible.
"And by the way, it changes the story! Did Nica know about Nora and Nana?
"... of Prince Nolan and that nun? No, you don't. Are you a lover out of the way you say it?
"Uh, no, not like that, maybe a friend? Is it?
My reply is ambiguous, even though you waved the subject from me. Well, the silence is an awkward and hasty topic, so I may not have a choice.
From the fact that Nana probably didn't seem to care about Nora's proposal to me at all, I don't think she was a lover but a friend... It is unclear what the prince of the neighbouring country and the civilians have done and why they have become friends.
"We should leave the relationship between men and women to ourselves. Don't stick your neck in too much, either. I'm worried."
"Yes, sir. I'll do it right."
I replied later to make excuses for not being able to do something good. I love Nana, so I can't help it. Yeah.
……
……
……
I don't know what to do. I was silent again.
Um, um, I don't know how much I can tell Nica because I don't tell her about Elle, and I don't know if I can tell her about Nana's memory since she was a baby, and I just feel like talking about Evan and Shed and Mel in front of someone who once said she likes me.
... Huh? Hmm? That? Yes, Master Nica, you like me, don't you? So I like Nica too. Both thoughts.
What are you thinking now? You know that. No, you know what? I know, but I know, so I don't know what to talk to someone like that?! How did I ever talk to Master Nica?!
"What's wrong?
"Huh?! Hey, what is it?!
"No, it would obviously be restless from earlier. Something to worry about?
Lady Nica peeks into my face more worried. I retreated reflexively.
"Ah! That's it, nothing! No! So, don't worry, I'm just really restless!
I can't really understand what the difference is.
Oh, I want bread. Destiny altered item to exit the situation. My savior. But that's already been eaten by everyone as an evening meal, and unfortunately I don't have any bread in my hand right now. I now regret that I did not receive the bread I had just sold.
I don't know about the woman who tells me to discard the bread in the air of that touching reunion.
……
……
Silence comes again. Besides, Nica is surprisingly staring at me this time. In other words, the situation is getting worse. Why haven't I seen it yet, in my own house where I still can't see it, while I sweat it?! and struck eight plainly in my mind.
Or because of Nica's words and actions, it seems that Nica doesn't care about this silence. And maybe it would have been a silence that I wouldn't have cared about before.
Whenever Nica comes to see me from now on, I don't want to taste this restlessness that I take the liberty of reducing my life expectancy. Here, when this happens, women are brave.
"I've never liked people properly before!!
I blurted out the truth to get rid of this twitchy feeling.
Lady Nica looks at me suddenly.
"Because before, it was always at the root of my thoughts, words, and actions that I wanted to escape from my brother, but I also gave up that I wouldn't be able to escape, and I couldn't afford to feel like I was in love! I tried dating him because he confessed, but your brother broke it all before I liked him! I can't get anything in front of your brother anyway!
Nica is probably confused by the existence of a brother that doesn't exist in my world. Speaking of which, I think I broke it with my brother once when he proposed.
Yeah, but someday, I feel like I'm going to talk to Nica about my last life. I have the trust that it's okay to say that.
And while it's calm there in my head, the actual me unfortunately can't afford it at all. I breathe on my shoulders and I'm desperate for tears.
"I mean, what are you trying to say, I'm so nervous that I just died of being alone with someone I like...!
I was able to exhale a little heat by screaming, and I became calm, and no, I raised my blood to my face with shame.
Oh, is that me screaming now?! Is that me?! You're lying, right?! What, more like a maiden now! Wherever that scream comes from, is the woman brave?! You just blew yourself up no matter what you think about the wrong way to use words, right?!
"Phi,"
"That's why I run away!
Before they said anything, I finally ran out for my home where I could see it coming. Whatever they said, it was a contract to embarrass me and make me want to die.
The last time I saw Nica's face slightly, she was laughing happily, I felt. Finally, Nica's five escorts in the back looked at me with a smile.... tough.
Running home or not, I snuck into the futon. I covered my face with both hands for a while to see what to look like and say the next time I met Nica. I was bored while raising my voice without speaking.
Easy, easy, easy. Me.
Uh, uh, yeah. Just because we both want to be civilians, Nica and I can't abandon our country, we can't be together without abandoning each other. Nica told me that she loved me more than the country or something, but that would be a different story from whether she could abandon the country and also abandon the royal family to become a civilian. Besides, I also think that Nica is the person the country needs.
So this is a battle between me breaking first and becoming Nica's lover or Nica breaking first and giving up on me.
... Yeah yeah, I kind of calmed down when I thought it was a battle. Yes, this is just a battle between rooting and rooting. It's not too much.
I close my eyes to try to calm down more and breathe consciously and slowly.
Dear Nica and I, which one will win eventually? Even though I'm not willing to lose, I still don't know. But if it turns out that we're gonna get there someday after we've fought each other all we can, whether we win or lose, I'm gonna end up laughing. I'm sure Master Nica will laugh too.
I smile naturally and facially as I link myself to my thoughts.
When I was relieved, I started sleeping all at once. But one before I go to bed. Yesterday I realized I was falling asleep, so let's scream the words I left behind. I breathed loudly as I fell asleep, opened my eyes and shouted like an idiot at the ceiling.
"Long live the civilians!!