Chapter 41: A Sister’s Vow
The drive home was silent. Catherine stared through the passenger-side window, watching the city pass by in a blur.
Everything looked normal, and that was what bothered her.
People were laughing, Cars moved through intersections, a hero was carrying a man and a group of students stood outside a café, arguing over something.
The world hadn’t changed despite Nathan’s death. If anything, it only seemed more normal.
Catherine lowered her gaze to her phone. It had a list of lawyers she’d spent days researching. She had been so excited to tell Nathan.
She’d already pictured his reaction, his doubts, followed by her reassuring him that everything would work out.
None of that mattered anymore.
She tapped a button on her device, sending the file to the trash bin.
Henry drove without saying anything. His hands gripped the steering wheel.
He wasn’t allowing himself to think. Not until he had gotten home.
Neither of them had spoken to each other since leaving the prison.
Catherine wasn’t sure if that was because they were still in the denial stage or they were slowly accepting it.
When they finally reached their apartment, Henry parked in front.
Catherine opened the door before he had even turned off the engine.
"Catie," he called.
She ignored him and stepped inside.
The apartment was exactly as they had left it. There wasn’t much to begin with but she had never noticed.
Now, she examined every detail with disdain. Her eyes stopped when they landed on a pair of sneakers, Nathan’s.
Her chest tightened at the sight. Henry watched her crouch down and touch one of them.
She opened her mouth to say something but no words came out. She stood up and went to his room.
Henry followed but stopped at the entrance when she opened the door.
Nathan’s room was small. An old desk sat against the wall, one plastic chair was tucked underneath, and the other held his clothes.
A few books were stacked beside the bed, and some clothes were scattered across the mattress.
Catherine stood in the doorway. She had expected to feel something, nostalgia? relief? Instead, there was only emptiness.
She walked in slowly, her eyes moving across the room.
Everything was exactly where Nathan left them. His wall held Tour of Duty posters and his desk had stacks of lottery tickets, an old deskop computer and a framed photograph.
Catherine picked up a worn t-shirt from the bed and pressed it to her chest. It still smelled like him.
She set it down, approached the desk and picked up the photograph.
The picture featured four of them. Both she and Nathan were younger, smiling at the camera while their parents stood behind them.
But Nathan had cut out their mother’s face from the image.
Catherine recalled they had gone to the amusement park that day. She remembered the way Nathan had won her a stuffed bear at the ring toss.
How he’d handed it to her with a grin. "Told you I’d get it," he’d said, like he hadn’t been failing.
She’d kept that bear for years. Nathan had teased her about it but she never let it go.
She stared at the image, tears welling up again before she set it down.
"He should be here," she muttered.
Henry lowered his gaze and remained silent.
"He should be complaining about something." Her voice trembled.
"He should be asking me why I keep stealing his chargers, he should be comparing lottery tickets with me."
"Catie..." Henry reached out, putting a hand on her shoulder. This time she didn’t pull away.
Her grip tightened on the frame. "He should be alive."
Then she raised her head. "It’s all my fault."
Henry narrowed his eyes. "Catherine. You can’t blame yourself for your brother’s death."
But Catherine had a serious expression. "Yes I can. If he wasn’t stuck trying to watch out for me, he wouldn’t have been there in the first place."
Henry’s eyes widened but Catherine wasn’t done. She turned to him with tears in her eyes. "It’s the same with mom right?"
Henry’s face stiffened. "No it’s not..."
But she wasn’t listening. "Mom left because of you and now, Nathan is gone because of me."
"Catie... That’s enough."
"No!" She wiped her tears angrily. "You don’t get to tell me that’s enough!"
Henry’s jaw tightened, he removed his hand from her and looked away.
Silence hung in the air and the anger drained from Catherine’s face as she realized what she had said.
For several seconds, neither of them moved. Then Catherine looked down.
"I’m sorry Dad," she reached her hand and hugged him, crying. "I’m so sorry. It’s not your fault... I didn’t...mean..."
Henry shook his head. "It’s alright sweetie but you should know. You’re not the only one hurting." He willed the tears that were beginning to form away
He wrapped his hand around her. "I should’ve been there for Nathan too. Instead, I kept working when I should have visited him."
Catherine leaned against him and for a couple of minutes, they simply stood there.
Two people who had lost the same person and carried different pieces of the blame.
Eventually, Catherine pulled away. Her eyes landed on Nathan’s desk again. She opened her phone with the list of lawyers she had deleted and recovered them.
She turned to her father. "I was going to show him this."
Henry looked at her. "I know."
"I thought... I thought I could help him."
Henry’s lips curved faintly. "I know sweetie."
She sat on Nathan’s bed and held the phone tightly. "I didn’t even get to say goodbye."
Henry sat beside her. Unlike Catherine who had been seeing Nathan, he hadn’t seen him in days.
His chest tightened at the realization of the last memory that Nathan would have of him. A father who prioritized work over his son.
Catherine stared at a section of the wall then, slowly wiped her eyes. "He’s still innocent."
Henry looked at her.
"I don’t care what they say. I don’t care if he’s dead," she said.
Her voice trembled, but there was determination beneath it. "I’m still going to prove it. I’ll prove my brother was innocent."
Henry nodded with a smile. "Then we’ll do just that."
He squeezed her shoulder once more, then stood up and turned to the door.
Catherine watched him leave, his shoulders hunched more than usual.
He was carrying his own weight and she’d been too angry to see it.
The soft click of the door lock echoed in the small room.
Catherine knew he was giving her space, alone with Nathan’s things and with her grief.
Part of her also had a feeling the reason he left was so she wouldn’t see him cry if it came to it.
Catherine looked at the list once again. "I’m going to prove your innocence even if you’re gone."
A tear rolled down her cheek. "I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, Nate," she whispered.
"But, I’ll clear your name." She wiped her eyes and her grip tightened around the folder.
"Even if you’re gone, Nate... I’ll make sure everyone knows you were innocent.".
"I just..." she raised her head to look at the ceiling.
"I just hope you’re in a better place."