Life, Once Again!

* * *

“Weren't you scared? ”

The floor covers the spring notes and asks.

“What?”

“When you quit college, you had a placenta for 12 years, and you came out on your own. Aren't you nervous? Things are about to happen. ”

Kwak Jun puts a ballpoint pen between the detection and the stop and starts to spin.

“My father was a man who lived with law in his mouth. Ever since I was a kid, I thought law school was a paradise on earth, and law school was the ultimate goal in life, so I started to blindly think that I should go to law school. I don't know why I have to go to college, but I'll give you 12 years. It doesn't contain any individual student desires or dreams at all. Most of them are just parents' dreams. ”

You're right. The floor was swept away from the university in my previous life without a doubt. There was a moment when the idea that getting off the mainstream was a dangerous gamble.

“A current democracy, no matter what shape it takes, will have to empower the capitalists' best interests. Workers who listen well are the cornerstones of maximum profitability. But I don't want you to have a good head. All the capital wants is a little stupid, good worker to work hard on low wages. So how do we produce these workers?"

"If the goal is to create a submissive worker...... then education is also the goal."

"Yes, education. Education in this country focuses on making humans convenient. It's a very well-built factory. If a part that was a little unusual to photograph came out of the factory. A variant that can never come out of the original mold. So what do you call it in the factory? ”

“It's called faulty goods. ”

“Exactly. Education in this country never admits diversity. A near-perfect education system for well-established workers. Escape from here would be considered insane. It was the same when I quit college. Running on the rails is guaranteed a comfortable life.Why are you trying to beat the riders into a field that has nothing? ”

Gu Jun, who was spinning his pen hard, grabs the pen for a moment.

“Anxious? Anxious, of course. Scared? Scared shitless. It was a process of becoming human in a machine. Of course, I don't make fun of most of the people who run on the rails. If you have a clear sense of purpose, that path will also be humane. But I doubt it. How many times do you want to do it? ”

In his previous life, if he had listened to Gu Jun at this age, he might have ridiculed him. But I can understand now. Twelve years in junior high. If you keep walking down that open road like a highway, you suddenly become numb. The word ‘why?’ disappears from my mind. Why do you do math? Why are you going to school? Why are you studying in the first place?

Inertia. Inertia has a bad meaning.

Barricades on either side of the highway turn into landscapes, and all I can think about is how fast I can run on the highway. I was curious about what was outside the barricade when I was a child, but even the curiosity disappeared from that moment.

In such a situation, if the children suddenly come out of the car, I can only say this.

You don't have a plan.

When the helpless child crosses the barricade and reaches a completely different world, those who surrender themselves to inertia say,

How did he succeed?

“If you keep saying you've done this for 12 years, what are you going to do with the remaining 80 years? I left as soon as I thought about it. It was an impulsive thing that I never wanted to encourage others, but I don't regret doing what I wanted to do because of it. ”

“Even if I couldn't publish, and I was scolding in the backroom, I wouldn't regret it. ”

“Then maybe he was sighing, missing the S sign. Still, it's better to try and regret it than not try and relax. Regret is proof that I made a choice. Much better than a life of regret that you can't even make a choice. ”

It's a life we don't even have a choice in.

“Maybe even for the old man in the book. ”

“The old man lived such a life. I've invested everything in my children like everyone else. Parents raise children, and children do good in return. But this cycle is so dangerous, it breaks even the slightest crack. Excuse me for proving that. ”

“The old man chose it last time. It was an extreme way of killing. ”

“That's how he wanted to prove himself. ”

Even though he had lived a normal life, the old man threw away his mediocrity at the last moment. Did the old man laugh and kill his own child?

“I mean, parent-child relationships need to be more secure. Humans are such a pain in the ass. Another animal takes over a year after it's born. But a human baby needs a parent to take care of it for 20 years, maybe more. From an ecological point of view, he's a ridiculous weakling. That's how you get parents to think of their children as insurance. I've invested this much, so you're gonna wish you'd done this for me. I don't like that relationship. ”

“If that universal thought goes away, there will certainly be no such thing as a suicide. ”

“Yes, of course I understand. It's only natural that compensation psychology should work. Even more so, parents and children should be moderately disconnected, emotionally and economically. Parents who fulfill their parenting duties leave their children to fend for themselves, and their children live another life. And you get married when you grow up, and you inherit the same thing. Don't oppress him, don't look at him as insurance. ”

It was convincing. Parents wish their children well. Then why do you want it to work? If you dig into that argument, it reveals something that is surprisingly complex and possibly ugly to call.

The floor reflects on itself. I don't remember much, but I remember when my daughter received a low grade at school. He was a child that wouldn't hurt in the eyes, but he was scolded for that moment.

Was that really for her? Is it because of her future that she's sexually evaluating and scolding?

Rather, I had to give him a warm hug that I had to throw everything away for that moment. For a child who has already been scolded at school, can it be called the correct discipline to hold a falcon under the name of love again?

When I think I was doing something against my belief that home should be a place to rest, I get a self-reliant smile.

If a daughter who has low grades scolds and a daughter who has good grades compliments her, then the subject is not a daughter, but a grader. It was my daughter I loved, not my grades. But I was scolded.

I thought, maybe I was also waiting for my old age in his future. I think he subconsciously had the logic to make my old age easier, even if he was in a position where he could be economically successful.

"If you have a child, it's your duty to raise it, and the moment you bring contractual logic to it, your parental relationships will collapse."

A child cannot choose a parent. A child is born by the choice of a parent. Breeding is therefore mandatory. Parents have a duty to take care of their own lives born of their own decisions.

“Maybe I was mistaken for love. ”

“What are you talking about? ”

“No, I'm talking to myself. ”

This conversation tonight has given us a new direction to raise a child. Not looking at the byproducts that your child brings, but looking at your own child. The ambiguous concept of parental love approaches more clearly.

“Freaky.”

After that, I talked about the book for about 20 minutes. While reading the book, the floor asked questions, some of the dogs heard the answers, and some of the dogs looked for answers together.

“Amazing. I'm the one who wrote this book, but when you talk to other people about it, you discover something new. You mean immature. ”

It was time for him to put the pen down on his desk. You hear the engine of the car outside the window. The bright light of the headlight sweeps through the window frame once and disappears.

“I see you're back. ”

Kwak Jun got up from his seat.

You must be an old man. I went down to the first floor along Kwak Jun.

“I thought it was quiet. ”

An empty soju bottle catches my eye. I saw Suyeon lying on the couch with a blanket and a sleeping root underneath. In less than an hour, the floor shakes its head and walks to the front door.

The engine has gone silent. Soon after that, the door opened and the door was covered with thick padding.

“Welcome.”

Kwak Jun said hello first. I tried to say hello to the floor, but the crowd reacted strangely.

I swung my eyes at the two of them and went up to the second floor.

“…… You seem upset. ”

“I don't think so. ”

It was Kwak Jun who said as if he was looking at the situation.

“Help me boil some tea. It was supposed to be her job, but now she's out. ”

“Yes.”

The floor filled the coffee pot in the living room with water. Meanwhile, Guk Jun put a spoonful of honey in the cup. After pouring the boiling water into the cup, I swung it and went up to the second floor, propped up on the platform.

In front of the visit on the left side of the stairs, he knocked.

“Teacher, this is June. I brought a car.”

There was no answer inside.

After a while, however, a portrait opened the door with an awkward face. He looked tired, but his eyes were different from before.

“I'm sorry about earlier. There's debris left. Come in first.”

The floor watched carefully the steps of the door. He was taking a step as hard as a man. What the hell did he do when he got out of the car?

“Let's get you warmed up in here. ”

Kwak Jun received a letter from the car. A slow sigh and a sip of honey water made me look better.

“Did you do it again today? ”

Today, the flooring awaits the answer from the crowd. The public who drank one more cup of tea slowly said.

“I made it rougher than yesterday. That made me pretty annoyed when I saw you guys earlier. You haven't cleared out all the emotional debris. ”

“Then there's health problems. ”

“Not that much. Well, I have to control it as quickly as I'm old...... because it's so much fun. ”

I smiled gladly. The cool gaze of the entrance to the front door and the smile of the present day never matched. I wonder what happened to him.

“You must be embarrassed.”

The floor nods slightly.

“I wanted to make a big mistake. ”

“Haha, it's not like that. It's just... ”

The crowd glances at the ceiling.

“I'm getting old." ”

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6: 0

Hanwha.

This year is different.

And I was able to finally write this.

Uh-huh-huh.

This year is different. This year!

Thank you for your referral and coupon.

We're always grateful!

Completed:

Pharynx