M E M O R I Z E

A long time ago... When did it start?

To tell you the truth, I wasn't a very good user at first. My mental awakening as a user was fairly late because of my poor skills and user information. I didn't even think to face the horror and hardship of this Hall Plain, rather than the aggressive action or determination to survive. He was stranded in the city, trembling like a coward, and became endlessly lonely. But ironically, to survive, I had to go out into the world one day.

‘Yes, let's do it.’ I didn't go out with courage. My first step out into the world was a funny way to go, because I had no money, almost like I was hungry. However, if the beginner's luck was followed, the first step forward was somewhat successful. I still haven't forgotten the taste of meat that I bought with the first allowance.

But it wasn't always a success. No, the reality that had to be experienced since then was just extremely harsh, just as they laughed at users in the unknown decade.

"Our first expedition out was with us"? ’

‘Somehow, though, there seems to be quite a potential for growth. If you don't mind, come with us on our next expedition. ’

On the second expedition, I was playing the decoy without even knowing it. When I barely escaped to Cheonan, the woman in charge of the caravan's leader frowned, only to see me come back alive. And throw in a little bit of money like a box of hearts. Then I had to turn around with the money and say nothing like a fool. I just curled up in the corner of the homeless place in the city, and I only shed a single drop of cold tears at the displeasure.

In retrospect, I was reckless at that time. Not only was he reckless, he was also stupid. I should have done something to realize it as an experience, but nothing has improved since then. Whenever I go out exploring, I get used to it all the time, and the day I can't go out exploring, I wander around the square all day, walking helplessly. Instead of providing a place to sleep, it was also helpful to connect a day to day.

Maybe that's it. I was betrayed by someone I believed was my friend. I was robbed for a moment of my hard-earned money. Then, there was no place to complain. I just swallowed it up and cried. I kept crying in my heart, even if I didn't cry on the outside.

At least one thing I was okay with was that I had someone to hate. I blamed someone for using me and I blamed myself for being lacking. Still, waiting for the sun to come out. Maybe that was the last time I was innocent.

However, the only problem was that the day of the rising sun had come. Ever since I joined the creation of a new caravan as an in-house lead, I've always wandered around the caravan. I was worried that it might be bait again, or that it would be thrown away after being exploited. However, the users of the caravan genuinely treated me and considered me as a person, not a user.

I asked that question to the man in charge one day.

Why did you take me to a caravan like this? ’

The man said:

‘Why? That's simple. You're certainly not that attractive. But I'll tell you one thing. Although the user Kim Soo-hyun is a bit dull, Kim Soo-hyun as a person is attractive. At least for me. ’

‘I'm proud to see people like this. You may be betrayed, but you're not the first to betray yourself. That's why I got you in my caravan. I want our caravans to be a family that we can trust and trust, not a group that prioritizes our skills. ’

Maybe I was open to being hurt by it. I was glad to meet someone I could trust for the first time in this world of recklessness, and I always followed him. Then I was able to definitely take my place in the caravan. Under any circumstance, I could be perceived as a colleague from some point forward. Happiness has come for the first time in my life as a user stained with scars and tears.

But that happiness did not last long. Once, we did the wrong exploration in the Blue Mountains, resulting in the devastation. All leaders, as well as colleagues who were laughing and chattering before the expedition, were killed. Surviving is just me and one other who managed to escape.

I lost those who thought like family. The shock at that time was truly undeniable, and the rest of my colleagues and I broke up without saying anything to each other. In the end, I became lonely again.

But I would have known at that time. The fact that it was just the beginning of a long Hall Plane life to come.

As I sometimes think, my first memory was always coined with a similar experience.

I lost a colleague and cried.

Lose a friend and cry.

I lost my brother. I cried.

Lose the woman and cry.

Everyday lost and crying.

Now that I think about it, it's just a summer night's dream.

And from that moment on, I no longer cried. The reason why tears don't come out when I stammer the memory now is because I am tired of my daily experience over and over again. Lost, hurt, shaken, crying, and I finally gave up.

At the same time, I finally realized. I mean, I instinctively realized how not to get hurt anymore.

It was a simple method, considering the opponent as a non-human user. Treated as necessity, not as affection. Then many things were naturally thought of as tools or tools.

It certainly worked. As a quick example, Helena's death occurred in the raid, but she was not so devastated. I just felt sad that my vision wasn't wide enough. There is no way you will feel foolishness or remorse since you did not love them in the first place.

So I tried not to get attached to other users except my brother and Hansoyoung.

But, but...

“Dear…. ”

Now a woman who longs for my affection has appeared, asking me to give her affection. Qualifying to be a father who puts too much pressure on my shoulders. It gave me a fresh shock. Because Gehenna really wanted me.

There is no doubt that what I have heard is the truth. As I thought, in this hellhole, Gehenna is in a rigorous position. It wouldn't be enough to keep me from going out.

But Gehenna didn't. Rather, he grabbed me with a pitiful voice, shining his eyes. I'm not gonna hold on to it forever. If you could just stay with us for a moment, just for the sake of our child who is to be born. What did I feel when I thought of myself as a quadriplegic?

“Please…. ”

Soon, when I heard the distressing voice again, I began to turn around a little. For a moment, I thought I had to leave quickly. And even though my brother and Hansoyoung and the clans passed by with their faces on their brains,

“ ……. ”

I couldn't help but overlook Gehenna's request to stay with her for just seven nights, not for the rest of her life.

So I slowly walked towards Gehenna and quietly opened my mouth.

“Gehenna, I'm so sorry. ”

At that moment, Gehenna's eyes flutter like a wave, then close her eyes.

“I don't think I can spend the rest of my life with you. ”

Yes, this is the right answer. When I think of it as an inverse limb, I should apologize. Like Gehenna said, she was my child.

“Ah…? ”

Soon after, Gehenna opens her eyes with a light glass, wondering if something was unexpected.

“If it's really okay for seven nights.... ”

Seeing Gehenna like that, I started talking again.

“Him, you? ”

You kneel slowly in front of Gehenna. He held Gehenna's embarrassing belly in both hands and tightened his ears calmly. Though no sound was heard, I focused my entire nerve on my ears hoping to feel something.

After a while.

I close my eyes as I feel the cozy hand wrapped around my head.

*

- New continent, Atlanta.

A young man is lying on a cot staring up at the ceiling of the tent. His seemingly hollow eyes are blurry enough to remind him of the dead. Then, the water stains on the face, as well as on the bed sheet, seemed to be dry as tears flowed.

Then suddenly, tears fell again, and the young man frowned slightly and trembled once more. I thought I could bear it for a while, but eventually I turned around and started to drool. Tears pour down from my frowny eyes.

The young man who was crying on the cot was like An-hyun. Approximately three weeks ago, after Kim Soo-hyun was dragged by the Grand Duke of Hell, Ahn Hyun cried overnight for several days. Instead, I just kept crying without touching my mouth for a sip of water.

Afterwards, she barely woke up with the help of her acquaintances, but there was no longer Ahn Hyun who always appeared bright and cheerful. You show helplessness in your cot, almost always stuck in your tent. Even though I tried to scold Jeongyeon or Gwang-yeon, when I saw Ahn-hyeon crying, I only shaken my head deeply. The two women were also deeply distraught about the disappearance of Kim Soo-hyun, because they knew how Ahn usually thought of Kim Soo-hyun.

Above all, the sound of Ahn Hyun crying was really sad. He also tries to swallow tears to endure, but the more I feel a similar moaning. Like right now.

It was then.

- Cheers.

You hear a cautious visit, and a woman of modest impression walks into the door. A woman comes in with a tray with a bowl of food in her hand. I was worried about An-hyun's body and brought food and water by hand.

“Hyung, your sister's here. Try this. Huh?”

In fact, even those who came in this situation were also sad. However, when I saw other clan members, especially the children who had been together since the rites of passage with Kim Soo-hyun, I couldn't make it. To make the viewer forget the sadness for a moment, Ahn Hyun was expressing his feelings with his whole body.

An-hyun didn't open his mouth for a while. I just clapped my mouth and started stealing my eyes with my fist.

“Yes. Is your sister here? ”

When An-hyun wiped her tears for a long time, she forcefully said in a powerful, resounding voice. And unexpectedly, I got up gently and confronted her.

In fact, there is no sense of taste in the current situation. However, Ahn Hyun at least did not want to directly harm the clan members. It's because I accidentally saw the reason why Imnan brought the same food bowl as himself, screaming and yelling. At that time, Ahn Hyun was determined not to understand the feeling of reason, but to do so. I'm not guilty of anything by the way.

An-hyun slowly lifted her eyes, met Hannah's sweet eyes, and bowed her head.

“Sis.... Thank you…"

“It's okay. It's okay. Eat it. Rather, I'm thankful you all eat like this. ”

I think I know what that means, An-hyun smiled bitterly. On the tray, a soft soup, caring for An-hyun's weakened body, smelled delicious. I tried hard to pick up a spoon, but Ahn Hyun was eating slowly. It's like I don't want to eat, but I forcefully eat. I can't help it if I don't have any appetite.

When I was holding on to the feeling of vomiting like that, I was forcefully turning it upside down.

“What do you mean! What does that mean? ”

Suddenly, Seong, who heard from outside the tent, echoed the sound of Ahn Hyun and Im Hana's ears. At the same time, the faces of both men and women crossed. An-hyun shined a mysterious light, and soon I closed my eyes. It was as if he was finally coming. "

“You've been there! You said you'd find out if you had a contract! But…!"

Soon after I heard her voice again, I thought of something and her eyes opened wide like tears. And as soon as I tried to get up, I was stopped by Imhanna's touch.

“No. If you want to go, eat up and get out. ”

Imhanna, who was brainwashed by Najik, slashed her lower lip and faced Ahn Hyun. It was an irredeemable look.

However.

At the next moment, the two eyes of Ahn Hyun who was dead suddenly glowed. Then, I took a bowl of crushed soup and poured it into my mouth, lowered the lid and went out of the tent.

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By the time this post is posted, what am I doing now?

^_t