Chapter 143
Tempest felt like she was walking through quick sand.
Her entire body was right on the brink of shutting down. Not only from the heat but from the mental and emotional turmoil she was going through.
She couldn’t get the image of that man falling to the ground after the spear she threw pierced his heart.
She couldn’t stop hearing the wailing of the other soldiers.
It was all too much.
Logically, Tempest knew that she had done what she needed to do in order to save her own life. They were there to kill or capture her. Anyone would have done the same thing if they had the opportunity. Self defence was a real thing.
Even though she knew that she was logical in the right, the fact did nothing to stop the grief inside of her.
"We should be safe here for the rest of the night." Rynax shouted over the howling night wind.
It was so dark. Tempest honestly felt as if she were walking blind. She depended on the rest of the people in her party to keep her from falling to her death or running into the side of a mountain.
"Safe where?" Gerax called out. His head whipped up and Tempest saw him looking around. Maybe he couldn’t see it either. She knew his senses were more adapt than her own but maybe they were less than Rynax and Mexyn. As a beta, he was the weaker male of the group.
"There." Mexyn pointed and though Tempest tried to follow the direction with her eyes, she couldn’t see what everyone else was talking about.
What did it matter anyway. One way or another they were going to find themselves in trouble. The longer Tempest was out here the more hopeless this entire mission was starting to feel.
She wanted to go back home. Wanted to run away but she knew if she did that she probably would never see Dron again. The need to get to him was just so much stronger than anything she’d ever felt.
Rynax grabbed hold of Tempest by her elbow and gently started leading her in the direction of this so called safety.
A few moments later she could see the outline of yet another cave. Rynax helped her inside where Mexyn took over and brought her to the back to sit.
No one was talking to her. They all just looked at her as if she were fragile and about to break. In most regards she assumed she was. It would only take one more incident before she was sure that she would just crumble to pieces.
Rynax and Gerax got busy right away trying to secure the area. Mexyn worked on laying out the makeshift sleeping bags that they’d brought with them, and Tempest did nothing but sit in the corner and stare off into space.
It went on like this for a long while until Tempest could feel a presence sitting next to her. She didn’t even realize that she had zoned out for so long.
"You look like you’re contemplating all of your life choices." Rynax spoke, moving a little closer to her.
"I am. So far, I haven’t been making any good ones." Tempest had to clear her throat first before she could talk.
"Do you want to tell me about it?" Rynax asked.
Tempest slowly looked in his direction. Nothing about what was on her mind would further this journey. He didn’t need to know to make sure she was safe. He was asking simply to be kind.
"You don’t have to listen to me ramble."
"It’s better than the silence. I’m utterly bored out of my mind. Save me, Tempest." He smirked at her and Tempest couldn’t help but return the gesture.
"Can I go outside? Is it safe?"
Rynax straightened a little at that request. "Outside where? I don’t think we should walk away from the shelter we’ve found. At least not tonight."
"No, not away just out of the walls for a minute. I’d like to see the sky." For a long while, the sky seemed so foreign to Tempest. Just another reminder that she wasn’t on earth. But lately she’d found that the stars were a point of hope for her. Things would change, the sun would rise, the moons wouldn’t fall out of the sky. It was beautiful.
"Yeah, sure." Rynax got to his feet and pushed his hand forward, offering it to her. She grabbed hold of it and he helped her up to her feet.
"Where are you two going?" Mexyn asked, leaning up on her elbows.
"Just right outside. Not far." Tempest answered the woman.
Tempest looked in Gerax’s direction to soothe any qualms he might have as well but there was no need. The scientist was already deep asleep. Honestly the man could probably sleep through a tornado. Tempest couldn’t understand how he found it so easy to just knock out like that.
As for Tempest, her mind was racing.
Tempest followed Rynax out of the cave and immediately wrapped her arms around herself. The wind up in the mountains had teeth. It bit through her clothing and sent a shiver racing up her spine. She wasn’t even sure why she’d wanted to come outside. Maybe she just needed somewhere that didn’t have everyone staring at her every few minutes.
The stars stretched endlessly above them.
For a little while neither one of them spoke.
Tempest sat down near the edge of the cave entrance, careful not to get too close to the drop below. Rynax remained standing behind her at first. She heard the faint jingle of the ridiculous amount of jewelry he insisted on wearing everywhere. It still amazed her that someone trying to survive in dangerous territory would willingly make enough noise to announce his location from a mile away.
Finally, he sighed dramatically.
"You know," he muttered, "you’re making this rather difficult."
Tempest frowned and looked over her shoulder.
"What am I making difficult?"
"This."
He waved a hand between the two of them.
"I’ve spent the better part of my life charming people."
She blinked.
"I’ve noticed."
"It usually works."
"I’m sure it does."
"But you..." He pointed directly at her. "...sit there looking as if the world ended yesterday."
"It kind of did."
Rynax opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Then nodded once.
"Fair enough."
A tiny laugh escaped Tempest before she could stop it.
"There she is."
She rolled her eyes.
"Don’t get excited. It was one laugh."
"It was progress."
He lowered himself onto a nearby rock, giving her plenty of space.
"I’ve decided I don’t like seeing you sad."
Tempest snorted.
"You barely know me."
"I know enough."
He shrugged.
"I know you’re stubborn."
She nodded.
"You argue when you’re scared."
Another nod.
"You pretend you’re fine when you clearly aren’t."
Tempest narrowed her eyes.
"I also know you overthink absolutely everything."
She sighed.
"...Okay, maybe you know me a little."
"I know people."
Rynax leaned back on one hand.
"It’s part of my job." Rynax sighed again before he turned to look at Tempest. "So what are you overthinking?"
"Not so much overthinking just rehashing I guess. I’m thinking about what you said back there, about me wondering about every decision I’ve ever made."
"I’m listening." Rynax didn’t move and his attention stayed locked on Tempest.
"I made a lot of stupid decisions back on earth. I muted myself for other people. Tried to force someone to love me who clearly had no intention of doing that. Allowed myself to become a victim. I was weak and it was all my doing. I thought by being brought here to Ustea things would be different, thought that I could change who I was, be stronger but I don’t think that’s possible anymore. Maybe I’m just meant to be the liability."
Rynax hummed softly for a second, thinking on what Tempest had just said before he started talking again. "I don’t think you are stupid. I think you were trying to form a community. We all make less than ideal decision when we think the end result will be favorable. You think I want to be paraded out there for the selection services? I don’t but if it means I could get a mate I’ll do it."
"I guess you’re right. Still even as I made all those decisions the one main principal I always hung onto was that I was a good person. For that, I knew that things would eventually turn out okay. I can’t say that anymore. Now I’ve made all these poor choices and nothing in my life has changed besides the location."
Rynax furrowed his eyes, "What do you mean you don’t think you’re a good person?" A second later his expression shifted to one of recognition. "You’re talking about the soldier."
"The man I killed. I took a life. It’s the greatest sin on my planet. Something that can never be forgiven. I know you’ve all said it was self defense but that doesn’t change how I feel about having blood on my hands. Maybe I’m not really a good person and all the bad that has happened in my life is what I deserve. Why fight it."
Rynax leaned forward a bit so he was fully in Tempest’s line of sight.
"You are not a bad person because you protected yourself. That soldier rushed in knowing the risks. He could have died in battle, for the environment, he could have died from anything but he still came knowing what could happen. Don’t think for one second saving yourself somehow takes away from the good inside of you."
She looked away.
"Maybe."
"Not maybe, its the truth. A bad person wouldn’t be sitting here deep in grief over what they had done. A bad person would have just forgotten about it and moved right on."
Rynax looked at her seriously for the first time that night.
"I’ve watched enough people to know the difference."
Something in her chest loosened.
Not because he’d solved anything.
Not because he’d fixed her.
Simply because he wasn’t judging her.
For the first time since Dron left, she felt like someone was listening simply because they wanted to understand.
They were quiet for a long while, both of them just looking up into the night sky enjoying the darkness, that is until Tempest chuckled and had to break the silence, "You know before all the fighting started, I made myself a promise."
Rynax turned his attention fully back to her.
"What kind of promise?"
Tempest stared out across the mountains, the light from the small fire Rynax made in the cave lighting just a bit ahead of them enough that she could see further.
"I promised myself that if I survived...I wasn’t going to spend the rest of my life waiting for someone else to save me."
Rynax’s expression softened.
"I don’t want to run anymore."
"You may not always have a choice."
"I know."
"I don’t expect to become stronger than an alpha. I just don’t want to feel helpless."
Her voice became steadier.
"If something happens again, I want to have enough skill to survive until help gets there. Not necessarily kill, just survive."
Rynax considered her request for a long moment.
"Even the greatest omega warrior would struggle against an average alpha."
"I know."
"You understand that this isn’t about winning?"
Tempest looked directly into his eyes. "It’s about living."
The corners of Rynax’s mouth lifted ever so slightly.
"That..." he said quietly, "...is a lesson worth teaching."
He disappeared back into the cave for only a few moments before returning with two long wooden staffs. He tossed one toward Tempest, who barely managed to catch it before it slipped through her fingers.
"It’s heavier than it looks."
"Most useful weapons are."
He stepped backward until several feet separated them. His posture shifted almost instantly. The relaxed merchant disappeared, replaced by an alpha who clearly knew exactly how to carry himself in combat.
Tempest tightened her grip on the staff and mirrored his stance as best she could.
"The first lesson," Rynax said, his voice calm but commanding, "is to forget everything you’ve seen in stories. Survival isn’t graceful."
The mountain wind swept through the cave entrance as Tempest planted her feet firmly against the stone.
For the first time in her life, she wasn’t preparing to be rescued.