Chapter 33: Nothing Special, Just Practice
After a round of pathetic wailing, Wang Zibo finally lowered his once-proud head like a defeated mutt, falling to Gu Yifan’s final killing blow.
A long while later...
His face flushed red as he finally managed to choke out, "Brother Fan, when did you get so damn good?"
"You really want to know?"
Gu Yifan shot him a glance and asked nonchalantly.
"I do, I do!"
Wang Zibo’s eyes lit up. With a fawning expression, he said, "Brother Fan, you gotta teach me!"
"I guess I could teach you."
"Remember that bet we just made?"
"Make good on it first, then we’ll talk,"
Gu Yifan said with a playful smirk.
"Er..."
Wang Zibo froze for a second. Then, his plump, fleshy face turned bright red again.
It was hard to tell if he was blushing because the word "Dad" was too embarrassing to say, or because he was just that excited at the prospect of calling Gu Yifan "Dad"!
...
After struggling for ages, he couldn’t even squeeze out a fart.
"Alright, alright!"
"Go buy me a pack of smokes and a drink, and we’ll call it even,"
Gu Yifan said, annoyed.
"You got it~"
Hearing this, Wang Zibo got so excited he practically jumped out of his seat, immediately getting up to go buy the stuff for Gu Yifan.
’He couldn’t help it!’
’He might act shameless most of the time, but he still had some dignity!’
’Even though it meant spending money, there was no way he could actually bring himself to call Gu Yifan ’Dad’!’
"Oh yeah, Brother Fan, what brand of smokes do you want?"
"Huazi?"
Wang Zibo suddenly turned back to ask.
"Nah, not Huazi. That stuff only sells because of the name; it tastes terrible."
"We’re from Mountain City. If we’re gonna smoke, of course it has to be Tianzi!"
"Go on, get me a pack of Tianzi,"
Gu Yifan shot him a look, speaking nonchalantly.
"A-OK!"
Wang Zibo gave him an OK sign and scurried off toward the front counter in a flash.
’If he’d just called me Father Gu, who knows who would’ve really gotten the short end of the stick.’
’His perspective is just too narrow!’
Watching his eager, waddling figure retreat, Gu Yifan shook his head with a resigned sigh.
A moment later, Wang Zibo came running back, clutching two cans of Red Bull and a pack of Tianzi, a shifty grin plastered on his face.
"Here ya go, Brother Fan. The Tianzi you wanted!"
With that said, he stared at Gu Yifan with puppy-dog eyes, waiting for him to continue.
"Hm?"
"Where’s the lighter?"
"How the hell am I supposed to smoke without a lighter?!"
Gu Yifan took the cigarettes, rolled his eyes at him, and snapped.
"Er..."
Wang Zibo froze, then said sheepishly, "I forgot. I’ll go buy one now!"
「One minute later.」
FLICK~
DRAG~
WHOOSH...
Gu Yifan expertly lit the Tianzi cigarette dangling from his lips, took a deep drag, and slowly exhaled.
A plume of pale blue smoke drifted into the air, making Wang Zibo burn with curiosity.
"Brother Fan, when did you learn to smoke? How come I never knew?"
he asked, his voice a mixture of surprise and curiosity.
"Isn’t this something you’re just born knowing? You need to learn how?"
Gu Yifan shot him a sideways glance and said coolly.
"Really?"
Dubiously, Wang Zibo pulled a cigarette from the pack, mimicking Gu Yifan by sticking it in his mouth and lighting it.
DRAG~
COUGH COUGH COUGH...
He started coughing uncontrollably after the very first puff.
"Brother Fan, you lied to me...!"
Wang Zibo’s eyes watered from the smoke as he looked at Gu Yifan with a wronged expression.
"Alright, alright!"
"If you don’t know how to smoke, then don’t. You’re wasting my smokes!"
Gu Yifan said grumpily.
"Oh, okay..."
Wang Zibo didn’t dare say anything more. Unwilling to just toss the cigarette, he held it in his hand, looking on with envy as Gu Yifan puffed away.
Seeing that Gu Yifan was nearly finished with his cigarette and still hadn’t taught him the move, he started to get anxious. "Hey, Brother Fan! You still haven’t told me how you pulled off that ultimate move!"
"Oh~"
"If you hadn’t said anything, I would’ve totally forgotten!"
"Scoot over here a little, I’ll tell you,"
Gu Yifan glanced at him and said.
At his words, Wang Zibo hurriedly dragged his chair closer, looking at Gu Yifan like a model student ready for his lesson.
"Hmm... It’s nothing special, really."
Gu Yifan exhaled the last of his smoke and said nonchalantly, "It’s nothing. Just a matter of practice."
Wang Zibo: "..."
"Damn it!"
"Brother Fan, you tricked me again!!"
"Give me my fifty bucks back!!!"
...
Soon, the sounds of the two of them roughhousing filled the internet cafe.
Fortunately, internet cafes in this era were always a chaotic mess of noise, so everyone was used to it.
If this had been back in the 2000s, during the era of flamboyant, non-mainstream subcultures, a commotion like theirs would have probably started a lot of drama.
However, thanks to Wang Zibo’s relentless pestering, Gu Yifan eventually relented and passed on the decades of gaming experience he’d accumulated in his past life.
"Holy shit..."
"This is insane!"
"Brother Fan, that trick is seriously amazing!"
"How did I never think of that before?!"
...
Wang Zibo stared in awe at Gu Yifan’s slick plays on the screen.
Gu Yifan took the cigarette from his mouth with his left hand, shot him a look, and said nonchalantly, "Jibo, you just have to admit it: not everyone’s brain is wired the same."
"Huh?"
"What do you mean?"
Wang Zibo asked, looking at Gu Yifan with a blank expression.
A second later, it dawned on him.
"Damn it!"
"Brother Fan, you’re calling me stupid again, just in a roundabout way!"
he said, giving Gu Yifan a pitiful, aggrieved look.
Gu Yifan sucked in a sharp breath. That look from him sent a shiver of disgust down his spine.
"Get the hell away from me!"
"Don’t look at me with those disgusting eyes!"
"I’m not trying to be a damn shit-stirrer!"
he glared at Wang Zibo, his face a mask of disgust.
"Shit-stirrer?"
Wang Zibo paused for a second, thought about it, and then his brain caught up.
The mental image made him shudder involuntarily.
"Brother Fan, I’m not a shit-stirrer either!"
he explained hurriedly.
"Brother Fan, let me explain! I’m really not!"
...
"Okay, okay, I get it!"
Gu Yifan waved his hand dismissively.
"Are we playing or not?"
"Want another round? Use the technique I just taught you,"
he said, looking at Zibo to change the subject.
’Damn it!’
’If I don’t change the subject, this damn Jibo will nag me about the ’shit-stirrer’ thing all day long!’
’A grown man, nagging like an old woman!’
’Huh?’
’Why does that phrase sound so familiar?’
Shaking his head, Gu Yifan didn’t dwell on it.
He and Wang Zibo dove back into the battle on the Zu’an Continent.
...
「5:30 PM.」
Gu Yifan, who was right in the middle of the action, was startled by the ringing of a cell phone.
He glanced at the time on his computer screen. It was already 5:30 PM.
’Er...’
’It got this late without me even realizing it!’
The phone was still ringing. He picked it up and glanced at the screen, seeing it was a call from his mom.
"Shh~"
"Jibo, keep it down!"
he said to Wang Zibo before finally answering the call.
...