My Alleged Husband

When the past emerges, and we stop to look back, everything has already changed!

"Grandfather, I know that everything you say makes sense, and I also know that everything you say is for my own good. I understand that everything you do is for the good of the people in this family. But he is my own son. How can I bear to watch him, training so hard, just to prove to his grandparents that he’s a good child? Watching him train every day, as a mother, my heart feels so painful. Time and again, he falls down, covered in wounds, yet must hold back tears, get up, and continue training. To a mother, that is excruciating pain. No one can understand a mother’s love for her child; father’s love and mother’s love are different. A father’s love might be selfless, but a mother’s love is selfish. I must selfishly consider it for my son. I can’t bear to watch my son jump into the pit over and over again. I can’t do it. Whenever I see him get hurt, my heart aches so much. I want to rush in and stop his training, but I can’t do that. The country has its laws, and the family has its rules. This is the path he chose, and he must bear the consequences. Has he done anything wrong?"

"Child, perhaps you still don’t understand. This is not about right or wrong; it’s whether this should be done. Since he chose this path, he must walk it alone. No one can help him, and no one can bear it for him. The paths people choose lead to different results. Since he chose this path, why do you have any reason to regret it?

I know you love your son. He is also my family, so how could I not care for him? But caring alone isn’t everything; some principles cannot be broken. You must follow through. Don’t you understand?

Even though watching your child train so hard makes your heart ache, have you considered that one day this training will benefit him? He won’t be helpless when faced with difficulties; he’ll know what kind of help he needs. This is very beneficial for a child’s growth. You can’t choose to deprive your son of his growth rights because of selfish maternal love.

If you believe you are correct, then think carefully about how to put an end to all this peacefully. I don’t know what happened between you and your husband; whatever it was, you should both consider things from the child’s perspective, shouldn’t you? The child is not small anymore; he already knows right from wrong. But if you easily give up on your child like this, won’t you feel pain and guilt for a lifetime?"

"Grandfather, to be honest, an old middle-school classmate of mine appeared, and because of this, my husband argued with me more than once. Do you think there’s any need for me to continue living with him? I cannot bear it. I can’t bear his repeated doubts. You know that trust between husband and wife is most important. If there is no trust, then what is the point of living together?

I understand that certain issues affect him as a man because he has his masculine dignity. But doesn’t a woman have self-respect? Wouldn’t my heart hurt? When he doubts me again and again, what does he think of me? How does he consider my feelings? I don’t ask for much; I just want a happy, harmonious family life. But to him, it seems I’m asking too much. He never considers what I want; he always imposes his ideas on me. Do you think this is fair to me? If I don’t even get fair treatment, then why should I continue to stay in this family, serving like a workhorse, and live with him?

I understand that because I am an ordinary person, many people think I married him just for his money. But I can say with a clear conscience that I never coveted his money. No matter where I go, I am unashamed about this. What I care about is spending my life with a man I love, not how much money he can give me. But ultimately, I found that no matter how much I loved him at the beginning, we have no way to reach the end together!

Grandfather, do you understand the feeling of not being able to live or to die? Do you understand the feeling of being repeatedly humiliated by your loved ones? You probably haven’t endured it, but I really can’t take such a blow. No matter how much I love him, I cannot endure a man, as my husband, who repeatedly insults my character verbally, and having to pledging a lifetime together."

Old Master Zhang didn’t know what his grandson said to upset his granddaughter-in-law so much. Perhaps this matter is not as simple as it seems, but why make such a fuss with each other? This issue could have been resolved quietly. What’s the point of continuing this conflict?

"As a mother, a woman should at least be able to sacrifice everything for her son!

In the world, doesn’t everyone abandon everything they have for their children? If you can drop all your self-respect for your son, how could your husband possibly not care about you? He doubts you only because he cares too much about you; he doesn’t feel secure. He fears losing you. Trust between husband and wife is mutual; you respect him, and he respects your son. Once one side betrays the other, there will be conflicts. You should understand these things!

Think it over. If you feel it’s right for you to leave, then you can go. Grandfather won’t stop you, but I also hope you think carefully. You have a five-year-old child waiting for you at home; are you truly willing to leave?"

No one remains stationary in the same place!