My Feelings Can Wait

Ji Yooyan and Jing Xun's group arrived in Lingzhou early in the morning and returned to the hotel. Ji Yooyan was sleepy and fell asleep when they touched the bed.But within a few hours, before it was bright, she struggled to wake up.

Ji Yuyan had a nightmare again.

She dreamed of many people, her parents, her former agent, Wang Junchan, Jingxuan's mother, and many people who could not see their faces while holding a support lamp... Dreaming that she was standing on a high snow-capped mountain, in an instant, the snow-capped mountain turned into an abyss, she fell into the endless darkness with fear.

The north wind was blowing outside the window, and through the drawn window screens, one could vaguely glimpse the darkness between the world and the earth.

This is the depression she is familiar with.Ji Youyan was a little confused for a while whether this was in the previous life or in this life.

She wiped off the cold sweat from her forehead, touched the phone next to her pillow, checked the time, and felt a little relieved.She sat up, opened the phone calendar, and checked the time again.

The calendar has reminders of important days she made earlier.

Ji Yooyan opened the drawer, which contained a delicately packed box.Right, she is still alive in rebirth.

A gentle smile appeared on the corner of her lips, relieved with a sigh of relief, and got out of bed to wash.

After washing, Ji Yuyan changed clothes and went out, stepping on the silence of the whole building, preparing to go to the exercise room on the fourth floor and practice guitar in his lounge.

To her surprise, she opened the door of her lounge, and when she was about to walk in, she vaguely heard the voices of people talking in the last few exercise rooms of the corridor.

Ji Yooyan applauded, guessing that there might be hard-working students who got up early to do morning classes.

She turned around and walked along the source of the sound. Sure enough, at the door of the penultimate exercise room, through the window on the door, she saw two girls practicing breath.One of them is relatively familiar, the student she led--A-level Gu Zinan, and the other was led by Liang Zhen, C-level Zhong Jiajia.

Ji Youyan watched for a few seconds, and was about to knock on the door to enter, encouraging them to compliment them, and the situation inside suddenly changed.

Zhong Jiajia leaned in Gu Zinan's ear and didn't know what to say. Gu Zinan suddenly smiled and pushed Zhong Jiajia's forehead with his forehead, and then raised Zhong Jiajia's chin...

The two kissed passionately.

Ji Yuyan's raised hand froze and swallowed in surprise.

She was obviously not the one who did the bad thing, but she squatted down in a panic.She walked up the stairs and walked up the stairs to her room.

As she walked, she recalled the scene she had just seen.It was a little funny when she calmed down. What was she running, she was smashed, and she should not be embarrassed.These two children are also bold.

However, Ji Yuyan murmured, and gradually some nostalgia and envy arose.

These bold things, she and Jing Xun, at their age, were not without impulse when they participated in the competition.

Is the person getting old or the heart getting old?

I can't practice guitar.Ji Yuyan went back to the living room, connected the headphones, and leaned on the sofa to cycle the singles, familiarizing himself with the melody.Inadvertently, her attention was drawn away by the cactus on the coffee table.

I don't know when, the cactus changed a flower pot, and a breathable glass cover was uniquely covered on the pot.Is this the pot where she pierced her hand last time?

Ji Youyan was puzzled. The phone vibrated. Wei Yizhen sent her a text message: "Wake up and call me back."

She paused the song, called Wei Yizhen back, and greeted softly: "Sister Wei, it's so early."

Wei Yizhen complained sleepily: "It's early, this week, I haven't slept well."

"I watched it early in the morning, and you really guessed it. Jiang Chun really didn't continue to press the news about you and Jingxun yesterday. It seems that Jingxuan is willing to help you. Now we just need to continue the friendly interaction. , From time to time, let the marketing account warm up, and once in a hot spot, you can grasp it just right."

"Fans believe that you are friendship, and passers-by suspect that you are love. We don't make any response. Just leave them room for imagination and discussion."

"Yeah." Ji Yuyan promised while holding the cactus potted plant to his knees.

"When you win Gu Lingfeng's film, the promotion begins. If you suspect that you are really witty passers-by, some of them will turn into feeling that your scandals during this period are all preheating for the promotion of the film. When the movie is over, you and Jing Xun will reduce the interaction, and the scandal between you can completely become a publicity scandal, and it will be self-defeating. "Wei Yi has already thought out a whole set of publicity plans.

Ji Youyan's thoughts are different from hers, so he only perfunctorily said Wei Yizhen: "Let's talk about it then."

"Sister Wei, then you can help me stare at Gu Lingfeng's news first. When he releases the news of casting, Sister Wei, you can help me lobby for an audition opportunity."

Wei Yizhen calmly said: "I know." After a pause, she asked tentatively: "Actually, Yuyan. Since Jingxun is willing to help you, if she is willing to recommend you in front of Gu Lingfeng, this is not the case. Are you more confident?"

It's the pot.Ji Yuyan put his palm on the glass cover of the cactus, the glass cover was flat, and the thorns of the cactus could no longer pierce her hand.

With this intention, apart from Jing Xiu, she couldn't think of anyone else.

Ji Youyan's eyes softened, and he returned to Wei Yizhen and said, "Whether Jing Xiu wants it or not, and shouldn't we be two things. Originally, we deliberately tied her to hype, it was already very embarrassing. Again. How can you just rely on her not to care, you have to make an inch?"

If she didn't really want to take advantage of Jingxuan's scandal, and have more opportunities to interact with Jingxun honestly and honestly, she would not be able to use Jingxun with such a shameless face.Let her take the initiative to ask Jingxun to recommend her for help. Then she was really brazen, and she accepted the phrase "vampire" that Jingxuan fans scolded her in the midnight dream.

Thinking of the morning's dream, Ji Yuyan's mood was a little depressed.But she hugged the cactus ball in her arms tightly and comforted herself. It was all gone, and those were not important anymore.

What we are going to do today is the rehearsal before the third recording. It went well all morning, but at noon, something suddenly happened.

Zhang Wei also retired.

She acted as a scapegoat for Sun Ting and publicly issued an apology to Jing Xiu, admitting that it was because Jing Xiu's dedication made her unsophisticated that she was resentful, so she did something irrational.She felt guilty for the loss of reputation caused by Jingxun, and she felt shameless to face Jingxun and the audience anymore, so she voluntarily withdrew from the competition, and since then, quit the entertainment circle.

This is what Jing Xiu expected, and Sun Ting is not stupid, knowing that he must always explain to her publicly.However, Zhang Wei also retired, and there is a problem.

After the first episode of the program was broadcast, Ruan Ningwei's acting skills really aroused heated discussion among the audience, but more audiences were not as harsh as Jing Xuan, and believed that her flaws were not concealed.Therefore, after the first round of voting ended, Ruan Ningwei has been successfully promoted to A-level.

In the spirit of no longer dragging down innocent players like Lu Min and eliminating harm for the people, Ruan Ningwei chose Zhang Wei as her partner.Now Zhang Wei has retired, and Ruan Ningwei has lost her co-star.

Time is running out, and it is too late to recall the eliminated players for a replacement; ask other players to give up their hard-worked and rehearsed repertoire and rehearse with Ruan Ningwei. No one wants to.What's more, Ruan Ningwei's scum acting in the second period is really scary.

The director team discussed at noon and contacted the flight instructor Chi Dongqing, and finally decided to let Ruan Ningwei play a one-man show.Chen Desheng held a small meeting of mentors and asked Jing Xiu and Ji Youyan their opinions.

Chen Desheng said: "Now there is no other way. I have discussed with the screenwriter and planner and decided to let Ruan Ningwei continue to perform her and Zhang Weiye's repertoire alone, but you may need your assistance from Teacher Jing or Teacher Ji."

When everyone has an opponent's play, it is relatively unfair to let the player perform a one-man show that is not a one-man show.

After all, it's too easy for the audience to play.

So as a remedy, Chen Desheng suggested: "Let the flight instructor Mr. Chi Dongqing, who arrived in the evening, act as a voice actor and act in a friendly voice. Do you think it is OK?

In this way, to a certain extent, it made up for the unfairness of letting Ruan Ningwei perform alone, and innovated the format of the program, adding a new bright topic to the program.

For other actors, this must be an opportunity for both opportunities and challenges.The good thing is the attention degree because Chi Dongqing is naturally higher than other players in the previous section. The bad thing is that if the performance is not good, more people will blame it.

But this is definitely an extremely advantageous form for Ruan Ningwei, who can't play with people at all.

Jing Xiu understands Ruan Ningwei's situation, she frowned, and is considering whether to communicate with Chen Desheng this way, will it cause unfairness to other players.

Ji Yuyan said one step ahead of her: "I think this is the best solution for now."

No one acts favoritism, but the opportunity falls to Ruan Ningwei, and Ruan Ningwei can grasp it.Ji Yuyan felt that this could not be considered unfair.

Chen Desheng asked Jing Xiu: "What do you think of Teacher Jing?"

Jing Xiu tilted his head to look at Ji Youyan and saw the vague expectation in her eyes.

Jing Xiu pursed his lips and said in compromise, "I have no opinion."

They both said it was okay, and Liang Zhen and Su Lihang naturally had nothing to disagree, and both agreed.

So Chen Desheng asked Ji Youyan whether it would be convenient to replace Chi Dongqing who hadn't arrived in the afternoon and cooperate with Ruan Ningwei in rehearsal?

Ji Yuyan naturally took it.

Ruan Ningwei's play this time is to play a young girl suffering from uremia. Zhang Wei also played her mother.

Because of the soaring creatinine, the girl had to be hospitalized again and had to undergo dialysis three times a week.Years of seeking medical treatment have already brought down this otherwise happy and ordinary family.

At noon, my mother returned from a meal and checked the yesterday’s expense list sent by the nurse.The girl clasped her fingers, bit her lip, and looked at her mother nervously.

This is what the mother does every day.Mother will carefully settle the day's expenses every day, for fear of miscalculation of one cent and one cent.

The atmosphere in the ward was very depressing.

Finally, the mother sank a little and said anxiously: "Why was it more than 300 yuan yesterday than the day before yesterday?"

The girl squeezed a little smile, and said: "Maybe it was because yesterday that I hung two more bottles of water than the day before yesterday?"

Mother handed the meal to the girl, her tone was a little awkward: "Let's eat, I will ask later."

The girl took the meal and tried to pick out the food gang from the meal. The mother scolded her impatiently, "What are you picking? Whoever eats vegetables only eats leaves."

"But it's so bitter." The girl grinned and answered carefully.She obediently picked up the Caigang.

"You are too picky. I used to indulge you too much, otherwise you wouldn't be like this now." Mother began to accuse her again.

From the hopefulness at the beginning to the near despair now, my mother's mentality was on the verge of collapse.When I accompany the bed recently, she always has a calm face, and the girl has been silently enduring her depression.

"What does this have to do with picky eaters?" The girl tried to calm her mother's sudden anger.

"It doesn't matter how you don’t eat this or that which you don’t eat, so your physical fitness will be worse, and your condition will develop into the current situation. I tell you not to be picky eaters, let you go to bed early, let you..." No Knowing how to poke her mother's point, the emotion she had been holding back suddenly broke out.

The girl clenched her fist, trying to suppress it.But in the end, under the anger of her mother, the emotion she had been suppressing finally couldn't help it.

She clenched her chopsticks tightly, shaking her voice, and choked up: "That's enough, don't say it. Don't you just hate me for dragging you down?"

This sentence, every time she watched her mother frown and count the expense list, she kept thinking about it.

Finally asked.

She looked at her mother stubbornly, wanting to be a little more vigorous, but her tears couldn't help falling.

The mother looked at her in disbelief, the masseter muscles of her cheeks bulged and her eyes flushed suddenly.A few seconds later, she put aside her face, not looking at the girl, and said dumbly: "I won't say anything, you can eat."

Ruan Ningwei caught a glimpse of her mother's tears falling from her cheeks, opened her mouth, and wanted to say sorry.But she also felt wronged and unwilling to bear it.

In the end, she just bowed her head with salty tears and gulped the rice.

No one spoke anymore.

After lunch, the girl felt terribly uncomfortable and lay down in the afternoon.In a daze, she woke up again in pain.She wanted to find her mother to pour her a glass of water, opened her eyes, and saw her mother hiding on the balcony calling.

In just a few words, she could hear that her mother was calling to borrow money again.She listened to her mother's low voice, looked at the humble and embarrassed expression on her face, and watched the north wind blow her mother's hair, revealing the frosty white of her temples.

She heard her mother begging each other tirelessly again and again: "I know I know, I really can't do anything, can I help..." Seeing her mother's thin hand back on the railing gradually violent.

Tears filled his eyes.

Her mother is such a strong and decent person.

Ruan Ningwei bit her lip, her chin moved violently, she didn't dare to cry.But the sound of sniffing was too loud, she changed to open her mouth again, breathing in and out, driving the quilt and shaking with her crying.

She finally couldn't lie down anymore, opened the quilt, got out of bed and ran behind her mother, reached out and hugged her mother, choked up and said: "It's dead, we're dead, mom, I'm dead."

What she should have said long ago, she knew this bad life clearly, and if it continued, she would just linger. It was because she had been selfishly not daring to die or waiting to die.

The mother was hugged by her in a daze, her throat moved, and she turned around, looking at the tearful daughter, tears came from her eyes.

She hugged her daughter back, and whispered in her daughter's ear one after another: "Treatment, we must treat, we must treat, and we must also treat smashing pots and irons. We will wear beautiful clothes in the future, and we will take our parents to travel around. What about the world..."

In the three-person exercise room, after Ruan Ningwei's performance, Jing Xuan's throat became astringent, and Ji Youyan's line with the mother role was already in tears.

There was silence for two minutes, and everyone was out. The two people who had not yet dried their tears looked at each other, and then looked at the expressionless Jing Xiu, a little embarrassed.

Ji Yuyan drew a tissue and wiped his tears, his voice rustlingly commented: "This state is very good. Except for the plot of the opponent's drama, if you use voice to perform, the script may need to be enhanced. For other things, I have no good comments. Yes. Teacher Jing, how about you?"

She said this, one is because Ruan Ningwei's performance is indeed remarkable, and the other is that as a person who has entered the play, it is difficult for her to make an objective and comprehensive comment.

Jing Xiu stood up, took a pack of tissues from her handbag, walked to Ruan Ningwei and handed it to Ruan Ningwei.

Ruan Ningwei laughed a little, and said with a little bit of crying: "Thank you, Teacher Jing."

Jing Xiu said in a calm tone: "Ning Wei, I don't have anything to comment on this scene. You did a remarkable performance, and the mood and details were handled well."

"You are acting in a one-man role. I am afraid that few of the students dare to say that they can perform better than you."

Ji Youyan's heart was hanging, always feeling that there was something in Jingxuan's words.

Sure enough, Jing Xiu walked back to his seat.She tapped the table twice with a pen, and pointed to the point: "But I still said that. This time it was a fluke for you, and you have the opportunity to act without facing people. What about next time? This stage is still a future job. How many times can you have such opportunities? If your problem is not solved, it will be useless for you to perform so impressively by yourself."

Ruan Ningwei's eyes were still red, and the smile on the corners of her lips disappeared in a moment when she heard Jing Xun's words.

Ji Yuyan sensed Ruan Ningwei’s fragility and quickly said, “It’s okay. Let’s give Ning Wei some time. Next time, Ning Wei will definitely improve next time, OK?”

"You can have the next opportunity, others may not have it." Jing Xiu frowned, and said to the camera on the side: "Mr. Wang, can I not take this paragraph for now?"

The cameras looked at each other for a few moments, and dared not to disobey Jing Xuan's meaning, they all stepped out with face.

Jing Xiu turned his head, hardened his heart and said to Ruan Ningwei: "Ning Wei, I know you are different from others. Even if your acting skills are not good, as long as Tao Xing is willing to praise you, you will definitely have a scene to shoot. But, those What about the actors who lost word of mouth when making bad movies with you?"

"You can't do double play, you can do solo play, and Teacher Ji will give you advice, so maybe you can break through to the next promotion. What about the players who played with you? Can you only be your victim?"

"Can Lu Min have your luck and advance to the next round?" Jing Xuan asked, staring at Ruan Ningwei's eyes.

She knew that Ruan Ningwei was kind, and it would make her feel guilty to hurt others, so she deliberately agitated her and poke her pain.

Sure enough, Ruan Ningwei lost all the blood on her delicate face, and her eyelashes fluttered quickly, trying to hide her fragility.

She didn't have the courage to look at Jing Xun again, bent down, bowed deeply, and apologized: "I'm sorry..." She looked like a Xiuzhu who was abruptly broken.

Jing Xuan choked his throat.

Ji Youyan snorted, instinctively that Jing Xiu said too much.

She quickly stood up to help Ruan Ningwei and comforted her: "Ning Wei, don't say sorry, let alone tell us. Teacher Jing will say that, not wanting to blame you. She just cherishes her talent and hopes you can face yourself. The crux, there will be better development in the future."

"But the game is cruel, and life is cruel. Each of us has limited abilities. It's fine to do our best. There is nothing to be involved, or guilt or guilt."

Ruan Ningwei didn't know if she heard it, raised her head, showing a smile that was more sad than crying, and replied: "I know, I will consider what Teacher Jing said."

She sniffed and evaded, "Then I will go out first."

After speaking, before Ji Yuyan and Jing Xun answered, they hurried out.

Ji Youyan stood there looking at Ruan Ningwei's staggering back, with a look of worry.

Jing Xiu frowned, and the fingertips of the pen were white.

The last generation Ruan Ningwei died by suicide.Although Ji Yuyan hasn't seen Ruan Ningwei as the one who did such a thing so far, she knows that Ruan Ningwei is a kind and delicate person.People who are too delicate in their minds are often sensitive and fragile. She worried that Ruan Ningwei would not be able to bear some words after hearing it.

The air was silent for a few seconds, and Ji Youyan licked his lips, and tactfully persuaded Jingxun: "Axun, Ning Wei's problem, otherwise let's forget it. It won't be solved in a while."

Jing Xiu sank his eyes and looked at her directly and said: "If you think so, it won't happen for a while, it will never be solved."

"But the reason why the knot is a knot is that you know where the problem is, but you can't face it directly." Seeing Jing Xun's stubborn appearance, Ji Youyan felt helpless.

"Therefore, she cannot be solved by herself, so she needs external force to push her." Jing Xiu said in a low voice.

Ji Yooyan didn’t know if he was sympathizing with Ruan Ningwei, or he felt a little empathetic, “But, Axun, not everyone can face the fragility in their hearts bravely. There are some things and some words that are hard to say.” Maybe not. The pain of memories, maybe the gloom that I have spurned on, there is always something that I can’t wait to let it be seen forever.

She was in a daze for a while, and pleaded in her tone: "Axun, think about it in another way. Isn't it too difficult to force Ning Wei like this?"

Jing Xiu's complexion suddenly became cold.

A touch of sadness flashed in her eyes, and asked Ji Youyan: "So, are you accusing me now?"

"You don't think I'm close to humans and don't understand others. Right?"

Ji Yuyan was taken aback for a moment, and then he turned back to his senses and denied in a mute voice: "I didn't mean that."

The look in her eyes clearly meant this.Jing Xiu's eyes dimmed, and he interrogated: "That cowardly trapped in her own world, causing people who care about her to follow her in pain, but always pretending to be an invisible person, isn't it too selfish and doesn't understand others? "

Ji Yuyan was speechless.Suddenly, she didn't know that Jing Xiu's words were questioning Ruan Ningwei or the previous Ji Yuyan.

Jing Xiu faintly sighed, and laughed at herself: "Maybe you are right, I am too selfish and too forceful." She stood up, was not in the mood to say anything, turned around and left.

Ji Yuyan subconsciously stretched out his hand and grabbed Jing Xun's wrist, and kept her: "A Xuan..."

Jing Xiu turned around, feeling very weak and alienated: "Let go."

Ji Youyan's heart trembled.

The camera outside seemed to have heard the dispute inside, knocked on the door, as if about to come in.

Ji Yuyan was relieved, Jing Xun's hand was pulled away from her palm little by little, and finally, only a piece of cold air remained.

And her empty heart.