My Inseparable House Guests

Preliminary summary: The dialect is pestering Fang's mother in the office to be delicious.

Seeing that the dialect was entangled with something delicious, Fang's mother asked the dialect to wait for a while, then walked to other people's office, and returned soon after.

When she came back, Fang’s mother was holding a red snack packaging bag. Dialect would never forget the red bag in her life. It was filled with various English letters, and there was a bone pattern on the surface of the bag.

Fang's mother gave the bag to the dialect, opened the dialect, and it was filled with delicious biscuits.

Dialect took out the small biscuits from the bag and tasted it, and found that it was very delicious. Then he sat in the office and spent an afternoon consuming the whole bag of snacks.

During the period, the dialect was very conscientious and handed the small biscuits to Fang's mother and asked her to eat together, but Fang's mother was rare and generous for a while and let the dialect eat the small biscuits alone.

The bag of snacks that I ate in Fang’s office is a good memory of dialects for a period of time. I knew that an aunt who had a dialect came and brought a cousin with a dialect and a cousin to the supermarket to buy delicious food. Aunt told the dialect , He can choose any one of his favorite snacks in the supermarket.

The dialect was turned around in the supermarket, and then I found the same red bag of snacks that I had eaten in my mother's office that day, and then happily picked up the snacks and went to look for my aunt.

then.

Then my aunt spread the dialect for half an hour, the difference between pet dog food and human snacks.

Later when dialect was in college, every time Fang’s mother asked the dialect when to take his girlfriend home, she would go back with one sentence: I’ll just feed the big one with dog food, and you still want me to bring my girlfriend back to have a boy. Friends are pretty good.

...

When the dialect was young, Fang's mother didn't buy toys for the dialect, but they bought some dolls, small skirts and the like.

That's right, Fang's mother has a particularly bad habit of dressing up her son as a little girl.

If you like you again!

After the dialect grew up, the other's mother made righteous protests and serious suggestions.Fang's mother was suggested to have another small public service, but Fang's mother ruthlessly refused.

The Fang family will always have only one small public service.

Fang's mother looked at the dialect with misty eyes and said, "Do you dislike your mother? Since you want a younger sister to replace your mother's position."

you win.

...

Fang Ze gave up tangling with Fang's mother on this matter.However, when she was young, Fang's mother bought Fang Ze a toy that was more suitable for boys, but later, this originally warm childhood memory turned into an unspeakable pain in the dialect's heart.

Fang's mother bought a small ball for the dialect when she was nine years old, but she didn't let the dialect take her home to play.But this way Fang Ze was also very happy, because Fang's mother would play this little ball with the dialect every time.

The dialect still remembers that Fang's mother smiled sweetly at that time, and then took the little ball and said to the dialect, "Baby, look, this is a little ball."

After Fang's mother had finished speaking, she would throw the little ball, and then Fang Ze would ran over and picked it up again, and then Fang would throw it again.

He was in pure dialect, but I didn’t think there was any problem. Until he came back in the first year of studying, he saw an extra dog in the house. Fang’s mother took the small leather ball and said to the dog, "Baby, look, this is a small ball. ."

Don't stop me, I want to run away from home.

...

When the dialect was ten years old, the city where I lived had a starbucks, a place where small and fresh people pretended to be forced. The mother of food and snack control and drink control naturally wanted to try it, and also brought the dialect.

Of course, there is a reason for Fang’s to bring the above words. Of course, this reason has nothing to do with the dialect Mao, but because Fang’s is a thin-skinned little official.

This is why she brought the above words. She led the dialect, and after entering the store, she said to the Starbucks waiter, "This kid wants to eat and clamor to come to Starbucks for coffee, but he is afraid of not knowing the rules. Does he talk about anything to pay attention to."

Mom Fang said that I was familiar with it, but she wanted to let the child learn to be independent, watch the dialect interact with the Starbucks waiter, and then write down all the details so that she can pretend to be a mature guest. Looks like drinking coffee at Starbucks.

Then she never brought dialect to Starbucks again!!!!

...

It seems to have said a lot of things that Fang's mother is not reliable.

But to be honest, if you let the dialect judge, Fang's mother is not reliable, but she is definitely a good mother.

This is not an evaluation based on the parent-child relationship, but a very fair and objective evaluation.

There are some people, although she has many bad things, but a shining spot on her body can offset all these bad things.Fang Ma is such a person.

And her shining point is enlightenment.

Of course, this kind of enlightenment does not mean that the dialect brings her boyfriend to the kind of enlightenment that she would not accept as nonchalantly, but the enlightenment in education and training of children, although she left a lot of nightmarishness in dialects when she was a child. memory.

This kind of enlightenment of Fang's mother began to manifest when she was in primary school in dialect.

When dialect was in junior high school, because of the playfulness, the grades were always above middle.Then one time the teacher accidentally passed the top ten exam in dialect, and the only poor class happened to be brought by the class teacher.

So the dialect head teacher asked Fang's mother's phone number and called Fang's mother.The core idea of ​​speaking is that this kid has a future, but now he just doesn't study hard, he can go to the cram school he runs, and then he can make up for his shortcomings. He may be the first in the grade.

After listening to the class teacher, Fang's mother curiously asked how many people in dialect were at that age.The head teacher said that there were more than 1,000 people, and Fang’s mother said happily, “My son is already in the top ten among more than 1,000 people. Now this child has a better learning consciousness. If he is forced to study again, If you do, maybe it will make him feel bored."

"Furthermore, if my son is really the first in grade, doesn't it mean that there is no room for improvement in the next few years, not good, not good."

...

Speaking openly.There was also a very misunderstanding between Fang Ma and Dialect.In the third year of junior high school, dialect was already considered an older teenager.That day Fang's parents left home and went outside, leaving only the dialect alone at home.

It was summer, the weather was very hot, and Fang's house had no air conditioner at that time, only a vertical electric fan.

At that time, the dialect was too hot, so I stripped naked and went to the bathroom to rush all over.After flushing, I didn’t wipe it, but went barefoot to blow the electric fan in front of the electric fan (Those who tried it should know how cool it is.)

After washing, the dialect felt that his life was completed by just one popsicle. The bathroom took a popsicle from the refrigerator and ate it in front of the hair dryer.After eating, I accidentally missed a piece of popsicle and dropped it in the crotch.

It was so sour at the time, so Fang Ze took out a piece of toilet paper and started to wipe it.

Then, Fang's mother came back and saw her son holding a toilet paper with his back facing him, rubbing something.

After Fang's mother pretended not to see her, she really didn't know how to explain it in dialect. Mom, I'm not there, I'm rubbing popsicles.

Three days later, dialect went home again, and found a middle school student sex education book and a box of papers in his bedroom.

...

Of course, Fang's mother-in-law education method, which is very enlightened and pays attention to exercise the children's autonomy, also brought a lot of cheating experience to the dialect.

The most important thing is that since dialects know about the protection of minors, if you do anything naughty, seeing that Fang’s big ears are about to come off, so they will loudly say that the protection of minors is otherwise. Hit children, this is the right granted to children by the United Nations.

If it is an ordinary parent, it is still correct and ignores the dialect, but Fang's mother is different.Fang’s mother would say before the fight that the Minor Protection Act only protects thin children, not fat ones (the dialect was a bit fatter because of gluttony of snacks).Although the dialect was still beaten later, the dialect began to exercise and control appetite since then, and quickly lost weight.

...

Dialects have basically not enjoyed any maternal love since high school, because Fang's position in the family is a small public service, and dialects can be used as a pet sister.

One day the dialect suddenly wanted to raise a cat, so he said to his mother, "Mom, I want to raise a cat."

"Meow~" Madam Fang meowed, her eyes meant that it was not easy to take care of me. You still want to take care of a cat.

Another time when I came home with dialect on weekends, I saw Fang’s mother squatting at the door of the toilet, holding her calf with her right hand, as if it was very painful, so she hurried to ask if Fang’s appendicitis had a sudden onset or something. Take it to the hospital.

After a while, Fang Ma pointed to the phone and said, "I didn't pay attention to the time when playing games. I have been sitting on the toilet for too long and my legs are numb."

Deserve it!

...

When dialect was in elementary school, there was a cute little loli at the same table. Of course, the dialect was enough to see her mother, so she didn't feel much about it.But one time when Fang's mother came to a parent meeting, she suddenly fell in love with this little loli. The soul of loli in her body immediately burned, and she even taught the dialect how to pick up girls, and then she soaked the little loli and turned home. play.

Dialect justly rejected the unreliable proposal of my mother.But when Fang Ma saw that the dialect was slow to start, she found a way to start it herself.

One year there was a parent conference. Originally, Fang’s mother didn’t have time to go. The dialect was directly with Fang’s father, but after learning about it, Fang’s mother asked for leave to attend the dialect’s parent conference. She was almost moved by the dialect thinking that her mother had changed sex. Up.

But after attending the parent meeting, Fang Ma took advantage of the opportunity of the parents of Xiao Lolita with dialect to go out and talk with the teacher in detail, and told Xiao Lori that dialect liked you.He recorded everything he spent with you in his diary at home, and he wrote your name in his homework book.

How innocent the elementary school student at that time was. Little Lolita believed it on the spot, thinking that the dialect was the kind of arrogant hero in romance novels, and she had been secretly liking him.

With this assist from Fang’s mother, Xiao Lolita has been playing at home in dialect since then. Fang’s mother will prepare Little Lolita’s favorite snacks every time, and then have a love relationship with her. interactive.

In order to get the extra pocket money promised by Fang's mother, Dialect also acquiesced in the existence of Little Lolita.

Later, after going to junior high school, although both the dialect and the little Lolita knew that what happened back then was the conspiracy designed by Fang's mother to come to the house to play with her, but after so many years, Fang's mother has had a deep relationship with her. Feelings, even if it is not because of the dialect, little Lolita will often visit Fang's mother at home.

Then, Lori naturally became a childhood sweetheart in dialects. Later, when she was about to graduate from university, Lori and the dialect came together, and the dialect also inherited her father’s banner and became a new generation of legal loli. By.

Oh, I forgot to say, Little Lolita didn't know if it was because she was affected by Fang's mother or because Fang's mother saw the potential of a legitimate loli.In short, when Xiao Lori went to college, she looked almost like Fang's mother back then, and she looked like a junior high school student and became a legal loli.

Later, the dialect was renamed Fang Ze in the imperial capital due to one incident, and came to Haiping City to attend university. The legal little Lolita also followed the dialect to Haiping City, and they both studied at the same university.

Oh, by the way, this little loli is called Lin Xiaoxin.

...

Part of the story is adapted from internet jokes.Many of them were seen from the space, and after recording them, they were integrated together to make a persona of Fang Ma.

Probably, Fang's mother will be on stage soon.