My Taboo Harem!

"You say that with such a straight, aloof face."

"That is my face."

"Your face just said ’we get on top of each other and you enter your thing.’"

"I will kill you."

"No, you won’t."

"I will injure you artistically."

"Better."

She looked away, but the embarrassment remained, wrapped around her coldness like pink light beneath ice but with a soft smile dancing on her lips.

"There is no point pretending I know a lot," she said. "Certainly not with you."

"With me?"

She glanced back at him. "You know everything there is about sex."

Phei stared at her.

Then his smile changed.

Not mocking now, rather gentler.

Sienna shook her head faintly. "I did not know, in all my existence, that I would ever admire someone for shameless knowledge and experience, but..."

"You wish you knew as much as I know? Is that I am hearing right?" he asked.

She hesitated then nodded reluctantly but honest.

Phei’s chest tightened.

He shifted, placing both hands lightly on her shoulders, turning her more toward him.

"Sienna," he said. "I am not as good as you think I am."

Her brows drew together.

He smiled faintly. "I did not know enything either. Not really. You know that. We grew up together. You know I had no grand secret knowledge of this subject until recently."

She nodded. "I know."

"Then?"

"Not having done it and having knowledge are different," she said, voice steadier now that the topic had become more analytical. Naturally. Give Sienna an emotional crisis and she would try to solve it by making it a research paper. "For example, Delilah and Victoria... those two shameless girls have been watching adult videos for years."

Phei choked.

Sienna continued with terrifying seriousness. "Surely they would know more than me. Also, young men like you watch those things and touch themselves, so you might have known much before actually doing it."

Phei looked at her.

"Sienna."

"What?"

"You really say the most insane things with the calmest face I have veer known."

"But I am correct."

"You are half correct. Which is worse, because now I have to explain the useful part."

She waited.

Interested.

The faint glimmer in her violet eyes was unmistakable now. Curiosity. Not innocent exactly. Sienna was too ancient and too strange for ordinary innocence. But untouched. Unpracticed. Embarrassed by the body’s simple truths because her mind preferred kingdoms, powers, curses, and whatever other terrifying nonsense she apparently kept in the basement of her soul.

Phei sighed. "Watching adult content does not contribute as much as you think. At least not in my experience."

Her gaze sharpened.

"I do not mean I watched it of course. Danton ruined porn and musterbating for me every time he did it in my room; thankful for that." he added quickly.

Sienna stared at Phei and smiled hearing a miracle of Phei ever thanking Danton for anything.

Phei closed his eyes briefly. "Okay that sounded defensive."

"It did."

"Forget that part."

"I will remember it."

"Of course you will."

"Continue."

Phei exhaled. "Maddie, Delilah, girls your age, most of them have seen things like porn and for Elena she has seen it in action with the orgies she organized. But do you know what happens when it is actually their first time?"

Sienna shook her head.

But her eyes stayed on him.

"They all start from zero."

Her face changed slightly.

Phei continued, voice calm now. "All of that information they absorbed becomes almost useless at first on their first time as they lose their virginity. Their bodies do not care how many scenes they watched. Their minds can know what is supposed to happen, but the body still has to experience it for the first time. The closeness. The fear. The trust. The awkwardness. The heat. The not knowing what to do with your hands or your breathing or your pride."

Sienna was very still as she absorbed the info.

"Everyone thinks knowledge will protect them from vulnerability," Phei said softly. "It does not."

Her gaze lowered.

"The first time is mostly instinctual," he continued. "And you’re usually listening to your body. Following what it asks. Giving in slowly. Stopping when it is too much. Trying again when you are ready. Trusting the person with you enough to be foolish, awkward, needy, embarrassed, and honest."

Sienna’s fingers tightened against the fabric of her dress.

"That sounds..." she began.

"Vulnerable?" Phei asked.

She nodded.

"Of course it is."

Her expression tightened, not in fear exactly, but in recognition. Vulnerability was not an easy word for Sienna. It probably tasted like a disease to her.

Phei lowered his voice.

"But vulnerability is one of the most important parts of it. Maybe the most important. Not the body, the skill or how much someone knows. Trust. That is the heart of it all."

She looked at him again.

He met her eyes steadily.

"You have to trust your lover enough to let them see you without armor. Not just clothes. Armor. Pride. Distance. The face you use to scare people away. The words you use to hide when something matters. All of it."

Sienna looked away.

Phei let her.

For once, he did not chase the reaction too quickly.

"You do not need to know everything," he said. "You do not need to perform. You do not need to become Delilah or Victoria or Maddie or anyone else. You do not even need to become what Dravenna thinks tonight requires."

That made Sienna glance back.

Phei’s hand moved from her shoulder to her cheek, gentle enough that she could pull away.

She did not.

"You only need to be you," he said. "Cold, awkward, frightening, insulting, secretly kind, terrible at naming body parts..."

Her eyes narrowed.

He smiled:

"And honest enough, at least with me, to say yes, no, stop, wait, more, or I do not know... anything."

Sienna stared at him for a long moment; she actually looked like a girl standing at the edge of something she did not understand, too proud to admit fear, too honest to pretend she knew the path, and too trusting of him to walk away.

Her voice came quietly.

"Phei."

"Yes?"

Her fingers curled against his shirt with a tiny movement.

"Can I kiss you?"

Phei went still.

Phei’s expression softened until the hunger in him lowered its head, he leaned closer, but stopped before their lips touched.

"Yes," he whispered. "You can."

Sienna looked at his mouth, his eyes and her blush deepened one last time.

And then the Ice Robot, who had spent years treating affection like an ambush, lifted herself slightly in his arms and kissed Phei.