……
……
We haven't spoken to each other for a while. I didn't know what to cut out. Gaius does something to think about. Sitting beside us in line on the ground, Frene disappears so that he doesn't look like Gaius, just watching over us.
"Gaius, you know"
"Lernda, you know"
And I opened my mouth at the same time. And for a moment, we both solidify.
"... from Gaius, fine"
If I told him so, Gaius opened his mouth.
"I..., I can't break it. About the knights of the Migga kingdom."
"... yeah"
"The prince who helped the people in Mr. Nilsi's village was also the reason why our father died and we had to flee. If you think about it that way, even if you weren't really an enemy now, you'd feel strongly that you couldn't forgive me."
"Yeah."
Gaius doesn't look at me. Turn down and spit out the words in agony. When Gaius is suffering, it's kind of sad. I love Gaius, so I always want him not to suffer. But I think it's also a sign that you're alive to suffer with something like this.
When I was in the village where I was born and raised, I didn't feel the pain or anything that Gaius felt. I was just breathing. That's why I think it's extra like that.
"I'm sad my father's gone. I can't believe why my father had to die like that. Lernda and Mr. Lan are the exceptions, but I figured I'd just be human and I'd be on guard. Still, the other humans can manage to break it off. But the knight of the Migga kingdom - he could say he killed his father, Teng.... I wonder why my father died."
Sad, painful, says Gaius.
The other humans can still split up. But the knights of the Migga kingdom say they can't break it off.
"With my head, I know. But - I knew my heart wouldn't understand. Now you've helped the slaves, brought the beasts all the way here, and I might say you're on my side. But after all, I can't break it off. He wants to kill me - and he's getting all black emotions."
Because Mr. Athos was murdered. Because I've been so brutally murdered. So Gaius couldn't just be nice anymore. When we met, Gaius was a boy who didn't have feelings for wanting to kill someone.
"... I can't believe I want to kill you like this. Lernda says this, too. You don't like me, do you?
Gaius finally turned to me.
Anxiously, those brown eyes are shaking.
I reached out to Gaius's cheek like that. And stare Gaius straight in the eye.
Gaius, no.
I was a little worried and opened my mouth.
"... I don't know, hate or want to kill. But I don't think that's a good idea."
Neither the emotion of hatred, nor the desire to kill, is known to me. I don't have that feeling. But - just because I don't feel it, I didn't mean to deny it, etc.
"- I think you can want to kill me. But I don't know if I'll actually do it. Well, I think you can hold it all right, whether you want to kill it or hate it, which is in Gaius. I can't say I'm not afraid of the idea of killing you. But I don't think I have to lose it or feel that way, because I don't."
I'm only eleven years old, and I don't know what the right thing to say. Yeah, I don't think there's any right answer to this kind of thing. I don't know what kind of answer is correct by the person who received it. I want to understand Gaius, but in the end I find it difficult to understand everything.
So I don't know if I'm right, but I say what I think.
"After holding it, it may be painful - but I think it's a good idea to deal with it without killing it. But I carry too much, because it's painful. I want it all to spit out. I think it's better to spit it out with your mouth than with your heart all the time, lots and lots"
I touch Gaius's cheek with both hands and tell him to stare still at Gaius. Gaius remains a surprised look at my words.
"So, full, spit it out. I can ask. Hate or something, I don't know, because I, Gaius, don't like it while it's painful. I'll listen to you. So... don't hold me in until I'm in pain."
Tell me if I spit it out, and I don't know if it lightens my mind. But I thought it might make my mind a little easier, and I said it.
I don't know about hate or anything, but I don't want Gaius to suffer. Because I want to make Gaius' heart a little easier.
"... thanks, Lernda"
"Yeah."
"... let go for a second. Because it's embarrassing when you can stare."
"Yeah."
"Hey, can I ask you a lot? Fine, it's a drooling emotion."
"Yeah. All of it, tell me"
If so, Gaius opened his mouth.
- Girl and boy Goto 2.
(The Divine Son girl talks to the Beastman boy. God does not deny the sentiment of wanting to kill)