Chapter 216 - After Classroom
The bell sounded at 4:30 p.m.
Suddenly the whole school transformed.
Noisy corridor turned into quietness.
The children ran out of the school and started to discuss everything but lessons – homework, club activities and weekend plans.
The teachers collected the papers.
Doors were closing.
Classrooms were switching off one by one.
Only Kuro was sitting at his table.
In front of him was sitting one student.
His name was Ren.
Since the beginning of the semester Ren had trouble with psychology.
He understood the theory but couldn’t explain his thoughts.
The results of his tests were bad.
His assignments were unfinished.
Today, Kuro told him to wait till the end of the classes.
Not to punish him.
To get to know what was wrong.
Kuro placed Ren’s latest assignment on the table.
"You understand the topic."
Ren looked down.
"Not really."
"You do."
Kuro tapped the paper.
"You gave the correct explanation of the definition."
"I just memorized it."
"Explain it then without the textbook."
Ren was silent.
Kuro waited.
It was quiet in the classroom.
Finally, Ren answered.
"People act in a different way depending on people they are surrounded by."
"Good."
"They want others to accept them."
"Sometimes."
Ren looked frustrated.
"So I don’t know."
Kuro leaned back.
"It’s alright."
Ren looked up.
"Aren’t you angry with me?"
"Why should I be?"
"Because I don’t understand."
Kuro smiled.
"To understand something you need time."
Ren looked around the empty classroom.
"Evidently everybody else understands."
"Are you sure about that?"
Ren didn’t reply.
Kuro continued.
"You are comparing your feelings with behavior of others."
Ren looked at Kuro.
"It is not fair towards yourself."
The boy became silent.
Kuro realized that silence.
He himself had faced that feeling many times before.
Feeling that everybody else has somehow received instructions on how to live.
That everybody else knows how to behave but you are learning.
Kuro opened his notebook.
"Lets forget the textbook."
Ren looked surprised.
"What?"
"Forget it."
Kuro flipped through the pages.
"Tell me about something which happened today."
Ren hesitated.
"Everything?"
"Everything."
The boy started thinking.
"One of my friends didn’t sit with me at lunch."
"Why?"
"I don’t know."
"Did you ask him why?"
"No."
"Why?"
Ren shrugged.
"I thought he didn’t want to."
Kuro nodded.
"And what did you feel?"
Ren looked embarrassed.
"Angry."
"Anything else?"
"Sad."
"Anything else?"
Ren stared at his hands.
"Liked maybe he doesn’t like me anymore."
Kuro nodded.
"Now we do psychology."
Ren looked confused.
Kuro smiled.
"You just gave me the example of how one incident resulted in an interpretation which influenced your feelings."
Ren looked at Kuro.
"So I made it worse in my head?"
"Maybe."
Kuro leant forward.
"Or maybe your friend was angry with you. You don’t know that yet."
Ren thought about it.
"So I should ask him."
"That’s a usual place to start."
Ren nodded.
For the first time Kuro saw him smiling.
"Thank you, Sir."
"You are welcome."
Ren stood up.
And stopped.
"Sir?"
"Yes?"
"Why are you a teacher?"
The question taken Kuro by surprise.
Ren looked embarrassed.
"Sorry. You don’t have to answer that."
"No."
Kuro looked around the classroom.
"It’s no problem for me."
He thought for a while.
The answer he was going to give was more complex than he thought.
"I think..."
He paused.
"I wanted to become the kind of adult I needed when I was younger."
Ren listened.
Kuro continued.
"When I was your age there were many things I didn’t understand. Feelings. People. Even myself."
He smiled a little.
"I didn’t always know whom to talk to."
Ren looked at him.
"So you became someone students can talk to?"
"That’s the idea."
Ren nodded.
"You are great at it."
Kuro smiled.
"Thank you."
The boy finally left the classroom.
Kuro watched him disappearing in the hallway.
Then he leant back in his chair.
The classroom was absolutely silent now.
He looked at the empty desks.
It was very gratifying to help one student understand something.
Not just some psychological topic.
Some things about himself.
Kuro collected his papers.
Then he heard footsteps outside.
He looked toward the door.
Minami stood there.
She was carrying her bag.
"You stayed late."
Kuro smiled.
"So did you."
"I was waiting for you."
"For me?"
"Don’t look so surprised."
Kuro glanced at the clock.
"How long?"
"About twenty minutes."
"Why didn’t you go home?"
Minami shrugged.
"I knew that you would still be here."
Kuro stared at her.
This answer was surprisingly familiar to him.
He couldn’t say why.
Minami noticed that.
"What?"
"Nothing."
She entered the classroom.
"What happened?"
"Some student needed help."
"Ren?"
Kuro nodded.
"He had some troubles with the class."
"He is not the only one."
Kuro laughed.
"Thank you."
Minami smiled.
They started walking through the empty hallway.
Their steps echoed.
Kuro looked at the classrooms they were passing.
"Why did you become a teacher?"
Minami glanced at him.
"It’s quite a deep question."
"You asked me earlier."
"I didn’t."
"Not today."
Minami smiled.
"You remember everything."
"I try."
She thought for a while.
"Maybe I wanted to help students who felt invisible."
Kuro looked at her.
Minami continued.
"When I was younger, I encountered teachers who changed my life without even knowing it."
"Like?"
"People who remembered my name. People who noticed when I wasn’t alright."
She smiled a little.
"Sometimes you don’t need somebody to solve your problems. You just need somebody to notice that you have them."
Kuro nodded.
He perfectly understood that.
They reached the school entrance.
Both didn’t go out at once.
Minami looked at the darkening sky.
"Do you think that we both became teachers because of destiny?"
Kuro looked at her.
"What do you mean?"
"Maybe we simply got where we should be."
Kuro considered it.
"This is quite philosophical."
"You are the psychologist."
"Exactly. I prefer facts."
Minami laughed.
They stepped outside.
The evening was cool.
For several seconds they stood next to the school gates.
Kuro looked back at the building.
All the windows were dark.
All the classrooms were empty.
But something in that place suddenly tightened his chest.
Minami followed his gaze.
"You have been looking at the school differently recently."
Kuro glanced at her.
"Have I?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"As if you are trying to remember something."
Kuro was silent.
Minami didn’t push him.
This was one more of her features.
She always knew when silence was better than a question.
Finally, Kuro said,
"Sometimes I feel like I’ve been here before."
"You have."
Kuro smiled.
"Not like that."
Minami waited.
"I mean..."
He struggled to say it.
"Sometimes the hall looks familiar in a way it shouldn’t."
Minami looked at the school building.
"Maybe that’s because you spent your teenage years here."
"Maybe."
But Kuro didn’t believe that.
They started walking.
After several steps Minami quietly said.
"Maybe that’s why you were always supposed to come back here."
Kuro stopped.
Minami continued walking not realizing he was no longer walking with her.
She turned back.
"What?"
Kuro stared at her.
This phrase hit him unexpectedly hard.
Always supposed to come back.
Something flashed in his mind.
A classroom.
A younger version of himself.
Minami standing next to the window.
And another picture.
An older Kuro.
Another woman.
A house full of books.
A child.
And another one.
Fireworks.
A confession.
A wedding.
Kuro’s breathing became uneven.
"Kuro?"
He blinked.
Memories disappeared.
"I am fine."
Minami started walking toward him.
"You don’t look fine."
Kuro forced himself to smile.
"Your sentence just sounded strange."
"Which sentence?"
"About me being meant to come back."
Minami frowned.
"Why?"
"I don’t know."
He looked toward the school.
"Maybe because it feels like I’ve been here before."
Minami’s face went blank.
"You have."
Kuro looked at her.
"Again. Not like that."
Minami did not laugh this time.
She only watched him.
Then she said quietly,
"Maybe some places remember us."
Kuro stared.
"What does that mean?"
"I don’t know."
She smiled softly.
"Maybe I’m tired."
Kuro remained silent.
But the sentence was stuck in his head.
Maybe that’s why you were always meant to come back here.
Kuro would remember it that night.
Not as a dialogue.
Not as an odd remark from the colleague.
But as something more.
As something that felt as if he heard it somewhere before.
And for the first time, Kuro wondered if he ever had a choice when he came back to this school.
Maybe, deep inside him, there had been a desire to come back here all the time.
Kuro could not sleep well that night.
Lying on his back and looking at the ceiling, he kept hearing Minami’s words in his head.
Maybe that’s why you were always meant to come back here.
It should not bother him.
It was an ordinary sentence.
It was quite normal for a teacher to return to the school where he studied once.
But something about it felt wrong.
Or maybe, too right.
Kuro closed his eyes.
Instantly, he saw another picture.
A library.
Sunlight between shelves.
A young girl across from him.
A notebook between them.
He could even imagine her voice.
"You’re overthinking again."
Kuro opened his eyes.
It was completely dark.
His breath was irregular.
"Who are you?"
He did not know whether he said it out loud.
He got up.
The memory was gone.
But the feeling lingered.
It was not as if he remembered a dream.
It was as if he remembered some place he really visited.
Kuro reached for the glass of water by the bed.
His hand was trembling slightly.
He took a sip.
Then he laughed to himself.
"This is ridiculous."
He was a psychologist.
He knew what dreams were.
Brain created memories, emotions, fears, and experiences, and connected them in nonsensical ways.
That’s all.
It was not supernatural.
Not impossible.
Kuro repeated it to himself several times.
It did not help.
---
Next morning, he came to the school early.
Corridors were nearly deserted.
Kuro went to his classroom.
But he stopped outside the door.
For a moment, he had an impression that somebody was standing behind him.
He turned.
No one.
Kuro breathed out.
Then went in.
His desk looked fine.
His books were in their usual place.
The windows were closed.
Everything was ordinary.
He put his bag down.
Then he noticed something on the desk.
A small piece of paper.
Kuro picked it up.
There was some writing on it.
His heart stopped beating.
Handwriting was like his own.
But he did not remember to write anything.
There were only five words.
You have been here before.
Kuro stared at the sentence.
At first, he thought that some student wrote it.
He turned the paper.
Nothing.
He looked around the classroom.
Empty.
He folded the paper and put it into his notebook.
He would ask about it later.
Maybe it was a prank.
Maybe someone noticed him dealing with strange memories and wanted to tease him.
There must be a simple explanation.
There was always one.
"Kuro?"
He turned.
Minami was standing at the door.
She was looking at him.
Then at the paper in his hand.
"What is that?"
"Nothing."
Minami narrowed her eyes.
"You keep saying that a lot lately."
Kuro smiled.
"Occupational habit."
She did not believe him.
But she did not push.
Instead, she went inside.
"Your first class starts in ten minutes."
"I know."
"Then stop staring at the paper and prepare."
Kuro looked down.
The sentence was still there.
You have been here before.
He folded it again.
"Right."
Minami went to the door.
Kuro watched her.
For a moment, he thought he saw someone behind her.
Younger Minami.
Standing in the same doorway.
Smiling.
Then she disappeared.
Kuro blinked.
Minami turned back.
"Coming?"
Kuro forced a smile.
"Yeah."
He followed her.
But while they were walking down the hallway, he kept one hand in his pocket.
His fingers touched the folded paper.
And for the first time, he wondered if his strange memories tried to say something to him.
Not about the future.
Not about his career.
About his past.
Some past he forgot.
Past that could explain why every time he closed his eyes, he saw lives that should not exist.
And in the middle of these impossible memories, Kuro had a strong feeling that Minami Asakura was not just a dream.
Maybe, she was a way to wake up from it.