My Ultimate Gacha System

Saturday, September 23, 2023

Turf Moor — Away Dressing Room

Halftime

The away dressing room smelled like mud and damp cotton, red shirts hung soaked over the backs of chairs, and studs had tracked lines of dirt across the tiled floor from the door to the benches.

Staff moved between the rows with towels and water bottles, and on the whiteboard near the door Burnley’s wide zones still sat circled in the same red marker Ten Hag had used before kickoff.

Demien sat with his boots planted flat on the tile, elbows on his knees. The match ball sat nowhere near him.

Højlund’s knee wouldn’t stop bouncing, his heel tapping against the tile floor in a fast, uneven rhythm.

Bruno sat with one side of his mouth pulled up, shaking his head slowly at nothing in particular, and when Demien caught his eye he pointed two fingers at him and mouthed that volley without saying it out loud.

Casemiro sat with his water bottle untouched in his hand, eyes fixed on the door rather than on anyone in the room.

Ten Hag came in and kept it short.

"Good half," he said, standing near the board. "But Burnley come out angry now. Direct. They need one goal quickly or the whole stadium turns on them, so watch the crosses, watch the second balls, and don’t give away a free foul near our box for no reason."

Nobody needed it repeated.

Broadcast Booth

"Three different goals, three different problems solved," the commentator said as the players filed back out for the second half. "The power carry to open the scoring, the technical turn that undressed a defender, and then that volley — that’s the one that’ll be on every highlight reel by tonight."

"That’s what makes this hat trick frightening," his co-commentator added. "Burnley didn’t lose to one trick. They lost to three completely different ones."

Second Half

Fweeeeeetttttttt!

Burnley’s center-back knocked it back to his keeper from kickoff, and the keeper launched it long into the right channel.

Their striker leaned his full weight into Varane’s chest to hold the ball up, and their winger was already sprinting onto the flick before United’s back line had finished turning around.

Varane won the header back.

But the second ball dropped loose near the touchline, and Burnley’s winger reached it first, cutting the cross in low before Reguilón could close him down.

Onana stepped through two bodies crowding his six-yard box and punched it clear with both fists, and Turf Moor came up out of their seats as one to roar at it.

"Burnley need this," the commentator said. "Not just for the scoreline. For the crowd to believe again."

Burnley’s holding midfielder stepped across the passing lane a full stride before the ball had even left Martínez’s foot, cutting off the pass into Demien before it existed.

Two plays later, a different Burnley player clipped Demien’s heel just after he’d released the ball, a half-second too late to draw the whistle but early enough to send a message.

Demien didn’t react to either. He dropped a yard deeper, showed for the ball off Casemiro’s shoulder, and took it with a Burnley midfielder already closing from behind.

「LEGENDARY SKILL ACTIVATED」 「Toni Kroos — Metronome」

「TRAIT ACTIVE」 「Press Resistant」

He shielded it on the half-turn, let the challenge bounce off his shoulder without losing his footing, and rolled the ball sideways into Casemiro before the second Burnley player could arrive.

Casemiro took one touch and switched it back across to Martínez, and Burnley’s whole front line had to turn and start the press over again from nothing.

52’ — Burnley’s Chance

Burnley’s best moment of the match came from the overlap. Their fullback got outside Pellistri on the touchline, took it down the line, and whipped a low cross between Onana and the center-backs.

A Burnley forward stretched in front of Martínez and got the faintest touch, redirecting it goalward.

Onana threw his leg out and blocked it, the rebound spilling loose and dangerous in the six-yard box, until Casemiro arrived first and hacked it clear before the second shot could come in.

On the touchline, Ten Hag stabbed one finger toward the halfway line, calling his midfield up the pitch, his jaw set tight.

That exact chance had come from the exact warning he’d given them at the break.

60’ — Fourth Goal

Two Burnley players closed on Demien near the touchline, one from the front and one cutting off the line back inside, treating the sideline itself like a spare defender.

He let them arrive. He shielded the ball on his back foot until the second man committed his full weight forward, then slipped a pass back inside off the outside of his boot before either of them could recover.

Bruno received it between the lines, Burnley’s midfield dragged too wide to cover the gap now.

Højlund saw the run early, bent his path across the last center-back’s blind side, and Bruno released him first time with no hesitation in it.

Højlund took one touch and finished low across the keeper.

BURNLEY 0 — 4 MANCHESTER UNITED Rasmus Højlund 60’ Pre-assist: Demien Walter

Højlund sprinted to the corner flag with both fists driving down through the air.

Bruno pointed straight back at Demien before piling in on top of him.

The away end sang louder than they had all match.

"He’s changed roles without losing any influence," the commentator said. "First-half finisher. Second-half controller. That’s two different jobs done in one afternoon."

Burnley got rougher after going four down. A midfielder caught Demien late near the halfway line, studs raking down his calf, and the referee finally reached for yellow.

Bruno started toward the referee, jaw already working, but Demien was up first.

He flexed his ankle once, tested his weight on it, and waved Bruno off with one open hand before he could say anything to the referee at all.

66’ — 70’

Ten Hag checked his watch, then turned to his assistant beside him. "Get Mason moving," he said, nodding toward the bench.

Down the touchline, Mason Mount pulled his tracksuit top over his head and handed it to the kit man, then dropped into a stretch against the advertising boards, one leg extended, reaching for his toes.

He jogged a short line up and down the technical area, rolling his shoulders, glancing out at the pitch every few strides to read the pattern of the match.

The assistant circled a name on the match sheet and held it up for Ten Hag to see.

Ten Hag studied the board for another minute, watching how Casemiro was starting to sit deeper without Demien beside him, before he nodded once.

"Now," he said.