My Youth Love Story Doesn't Need A White Album Chapter 161
"——The same is to help, don’t think of me too noble, and don’t think of other people too mean, right? The same is true for your problems, don’t think you have done nothing, Don’t think that you can do everything, do you agree with what I said?"
I am speechless.
"Then Kazuya, do you understand what I mean?"
"I understand, Senior Xiao Muyan."
Yes, of course I understand.I don't need Senior Xiao Muzhen to tell me that Xiaochun already told me at that time, she told me not to care too much about my mistake of judgment, and not to care too much about the consequences of my unintentional mistakes.
However, I can’t ignore it. When the philosophy that I have always believed in "I will make judgments for everyone, and then be executed by others, and finally solve the problem" is buried by my own mistakes, I cannot do it. To ignore.
"Yes, it seems that you still don't understand." Senior may be the person who understands the meaning of the changes in my facial expressions in different periods best, almost just looking at my helpless eyes, she should understand what I said. I agreed to the hidden meaning behind, "I don't expect this simple rhetoric to make you understand."
"Sorry, Senior Xiao Muzhen, I have my own persistence, although this persistence seems ridiculous."
"Okay, the next question," Senior Xiao Muxiao continued to say to me as if he had not heard my reply, "You have been evaluating my attitude towards others before, then, have you considered that Xiao Muxiao Xuecai will No, what do you expect from others?"
So, what will Senior Xiao Muzhen expect?In my impression, Senior Xiao Muzhen is always worth relying on, and will never give up caring for me-this is also the impression that Senior Xiao Muzhen left on me.
However, Xuecai Xiaomu is not a perfect superman. It is as perfect as the snow, and there will be hesitation. Senior Xiaomuzhu who is not proud and capable under the snow will definitely have hesitation and hesitation, right?
So, Xiao Mu Zhao Xuecai, will also be looking forward to it?Looking forward to the care of others, looking forward to the help of others.Is this what the seniors wanted to express to me?
"Or, another question, Heya." As I did before, Senior Xiao Muzhen approached me gently. I could almost feel the sound and breath of Senior's breathing. However, unlike before, she did not Did not make any physical contact with me, "If I had a situation similar to Xiaochun, what do you think would you do?"
"As long as I can find a reason to convince myself, I will help seniors and try my best to help!" I replied categorically.
"What's the difference from your current attitude in answering Xiaochun's question?" Senior Xiao Muzhen gave a wry smile, "It's nothing more than a difference in confidence in helping! The premise remains the same, hasn't it? I was a little disappointed. Ah, and also."
"——In front of me, you don’t need to repeat your theory over and over again, do you?" Senior Xiao Muzhen stopped me from trying to explain, and asked, "By the way, if it’s your sister What? Will it make a difference?"
"That, senior, you know, family--"
"——Family exceptionalism! Well, sure enough, I want me to reach the level of a family member, is it a bit reluctant?"
"Family relationship is always irrational, and cannot be judged by the same logic." I nodded gently.
"But the family relationship is also the most stable. This is also the reason why you can ignore your principles when facing your family, right?" Senior Xiao Muzhen showed an inexplicable and somewhat envious look.
"Ah, to be honest, Kazuya, now I admire myself a little bit, how could I know so many things about you, how many things did you tell me!"
"Uh, before I knew it, I said a lot..."
"Unknowingly!" Senior also showed a look of nostalgia, "Although we have known each other for a semester, we still exchanged many things!"
"Yes, I am also proud to know many things about Senior Xiao Muzhen."
"In fact, from this perspective, the two of us are relying on each other? Use our secrets, share with each other, and then support each other."
"If you understand that senpai--"
"So, everyone is the same. Everyone is under a lot of pressure that others don't know. Then, everyone hopes that someone can help them to share these pressures. We found the person who shared the pressure, and it was still very Fortunately!" Senior Xiao Muzhen continued, "But what about Xiaochun now?"
In the end, Senior Xiao Muzhen led the topic back to Xiaochun's problem.
"Xiaochun is like that? Even though that child looks very stubborn and serious, she can't handle these things at all, right? No matter how hard you try, there is no way to deal with it, you can only wait for a nightmare. Middle school is over, and then I try to find a new beginning after going to high school. So, Kazuya, have you ever thought about what it means for Xiaochun to reveal those things to you?"
What does it mean?Of course I know. I can't understand the girl's stubbornness. If possible, how could she seek my help.
——But, this is not important. What is important is that what I lack now is not the motivation to help Xiaochun, but the support to help Xiaochun!
"Senior, I understand what you want to say. However, Senior has been trying to persuade me by deepening my emotions, but what I need now is a rational and logical'right theory'!"
"Yes, and also, when you find that your reason is completely opposed to your feelings, why would you rather believe in the set of'logic' constructed by yourself, rather than face your own heart directly, Think about your true feelings! To live purely by relying on rational analysis and judgment, don't you think you are too tired?"
Somewhat abruptly, Senior Xiao Muzhu lost his temper in front of me.Before, Senior had never complained.Even in the conversation just now, I could see that Senior was trying hard to convince me, however, suddenly, Senior Xiao Muzhen was angry.
The feeling left by the previous senior's forehead against my forehead has not completely dissipated, but now I feel that Senior Xiao Muzhen, who has always been very close, is extremely far away from me.
I can understand what Senior Xiao Muzhen is thinking. She can see her shadow in the present Xiaochun. Although I don't know what misunderstanding happened to Senior, the situation she encountered with Xiaochun must be exhausted. of.So, looking at me who can help Xiaochun stand by, this will make Senior Xiao Muzhen have a kind of weak anger.
However, the predecessors can use a very emotional way to "empathize" with the situation faced by Xiaochun, but I can't. Human feelings, whether it is anger, complacency, sympathy, or concern, are hindering the production of correct judgments. , Other people may not have this kind of consciousness, but I, who have failed once, cannot be without this kind of consciousness.
"Sorry, Kazuya, I'm a little excited." However, just before I said nothing because of senior's anger, Senior Xiaomuzhu calmed down. "In the beginning I just wanted to make a suggestion, but afterwards Some unknowingly, I said something more serious! Sure enough, I shouldn't comment on these things, it's better, right?"
Senior Xiao Muzhen's voice appeared calm and calmly explained what had just happened.Although, I don't know how hard she has exercised self-restraint behind that calm.
"It's okay, I understand. Senior, no matter who it is, sometimes it is always impossible to think rationally. I also do miss things, isn't it?"
"Heya, you still really like to use'rationality' to solve problems!"
However, I was a little surprised to see that Senior Xiao Muzhen rarely looked at me with a pleading look.
I looked at such a senior Xiao Muyan, feeling a little irritable.
"Of course,'rationality' is the most important basis for distinguishing humans from animals!"
"So, is the interdependence that I said before is also a kind of rationality?"
I looked at senior in surprise.
"Heya, don't you think that kind of feeling is an emotional appeal?"
"I don't know." I can only answer in the most honest words.
"So, even if it is you, it is not impossible to be purely rational! So, why do you want to obsess with that'right theory', I really can't understand."
"Actually I don't know. Maybe it's just a way for me to escape from the past?" I said somewhat self-deprecatingly, "but at least now I can't give up that'right theory', sorry, senior."
"If you really think so, it will be easier to solve." The senior lowered his head and said with some emotion a sentence I didn't quite understand. "In short, from my point of view, Kazuya, I still I hope you can help Xiaochun, but if you really can’t do it, I can only say, I’m sorry, I’m sad, but I can’t change anything.”
"I want to help her too, Senior Xiao Muzhen," I said with a wry smile, "but if we are deceived by momentary emotions, then we will make many actions beyond regret."
"So, Kazuya, do you think you are doing this right?" Senior Xiao Muzhen looked into my eyes and asked seriously.
Is this correct?To be honest, I am also very hesitant. As the predecessors said, if there is an opposition between reason and emotion, it is controversial in itself whether one's most real thoughts are endowed by reason or emotion.
However, I'm just taking a "not the worst" choice. A choice made with reason will not turn out to be the worst at least. A choice made with feelings will sometimes result in unpredictable results.
So, just from the perspective of avoiding the "worst case", I actually have no choice.
"I don't know if I have made the right choice, but I only know that I should at least not make the wrong choice." I looked at Senior Xiao Muzhen, who was seriously looking forward to my answer, and replied.
"Really, I'm sorry, Kazuya, at least in this matter, I can't stand behind you anymore!" Senior Xiao Muzhen shook his head gently and said.