My Youth Love Story Doesn't Need A White Album Chapter 351
Sonoda left on his own initiative. I did not retain her, nor did I stand to retain her.I know that if I show any vacillation at this time, it will give the other party an illusion of hope.
And I don't want to let this wish last.
This is a very good girl, just because of my arrogance, my indiscretion, and perhaps a moment of weakness, the situation has developed into this irreversible appearance.
Even though I still want to be weaker, only at this time, I have no other path to choose.
It turns out that when people become weak and want to find a place to depend on but there is nowhere to be found, will it become so painful?
I think I understand Xuexia's idea of naturally wanting to rely on people-this is just to make the most reassuring choice when the failure is the most thorough.
It's just that I can only use my last reason to give up the last hotbed.
At the same time, I know that things will not end like this—so, when Sugiura Koharu appeared in front of me, I was not surprised.
"It's troublesome to be too responsible as a senior. Why do we need to do our best for a junior to this degree?"
Still playing the role of a villain, I looked at Xiaochun who was standing in front of me with a calm expression, and made a mocking smile with all my strength.
"You want to say, that child, in your heart, is at best just'a junior'?"
"Correct,'a junior' is the vocabulary I use to describe the relationship between Sonoda and you, and the relationship between me and her is judged by the'relationship between senior and junior', which is not appropriate."
"So what kind of relationship is more appropriate for comparison? Ex-couples who have not established a real relationship? A partner who stands together for a common goal? Or is she just a person who can be thrown away after you use it. burden?"
Has this been revealed?Sure enough, it will be so, right?Unable to bear the most serious self-blame, the only thing I can do in the end is to confess, whether the final goal is to ask for forgiveness from the other party or just to relieve the guilt in my heart.Moreover, looking at Xiaochun's appearance, she obviously forgives Sonoda—or maybe we haven't been able to fool her so well from the beginning.
"Well, that's probably the last option, right?" However, this will not change my original intention of deciding to continue playing the role of the villain here.
"Do you think I will believe it?"
"Believe it or not--and don't you feel that it is meaningless to act as a justice messenger trying to fight for your descendants? You are only one year older than Sonoda, and not too mature than her. Many, don't be constrained by this so-called predecessor's responsibility." I put my hands around the back of my head, and turned my head seemingly indifferent.
This is really tiring, so if you can realize it, stop here, okay?
But for Xiaochun.This may not be enough.
"I heard that before, you rejected Senior Xiao Muzhen for that child."
"That should be one of the worst decisions I made." Judging from the current situation, this sentence is not a lie-if you choose to betray at that time, then the result may be completely different.
"But you still did that," Xiaochun raised her eyebrows and raised her voice. "You did that at that time. It means you paid enough. That means that the child is in your heart. There is still enough weight."
"However, I would reject the people of Xiao Muzhu for some inexplicable reasons--since I'm already so bad, it doesn't matter to refuse Sonoda for some inexplicable reasons, right? Not to mention, because of inexplicable reasons, I am not yet—"
I still haven't finished the last sentence, but judging from Xiaochun's livid face, she knows what I want to say.
——I was so bad that I rejected you for inexplicable reasons, didn't I?
"Hey, Heya--" But after a few seconds of silence, she still spoke.
Haven't you given up yet?I never felt that I was worse at playing the role of a villain than I am now.Can you attach this importance to your younger generation?
"Hey, Kazuya, don't you think that kid is a bit like me?"
"You mean you brought out a good junior?"
"No need to pretend, I know you understand what I mean," Xiaochun smiled and shook his head, "Is it very similar? Like me, I was arrogant to you at the beginning, and it seems that I haven't done anything. Good thing, it will only embarrass other people very annoying guys. Like me, they are very arrogant, thinking they can control you and approach you. Like me, I think you are actually when you are serious. Still a good person. Like me, everything I did was seen through by you, so I was very dissatisfied. Like me, I felt complacent when I was able to help you in the end. Isn't the final ending the same?"
"That's really to congratulate you two for these commonalities--"
"——I said, how long will you continue with this kind of performance?" However, Sugiura Koharu interrupted me abruptly, "You should know, your current performance is really too clumsy."
"Because, I am the person you have rejected the most times, haven't I?"
Looking at the girl who said this indifferently, I don't know how to respond.Maybe, I have not realized it, maybe this is the person I hurt the most.
However, the girl just continued calmly and said: "However, if you want to continue performing, I can cooperate with you-as long as you don't feel tired yourself."
"Even if you say that--"
"--But before that, let me finish the rest, can you?"
Xiaochun has completely grasped the rhythm of the dialogue, and I can only nodded silently.
"He is not wrong! Although I care about that child very much, although I like her very much, and I really want to help her. However, after all, I have not been able to fully contribute-the reason why I want to do my best Do your best to help her because she looks like me?"
"Because it is so alike, I can see her feelings from the beginning, so I wanted to add my own feelings of failure to her. At that time, on the night when I first saw you two together , I even have the illusion that if Hai Wei is with you, it means that she has defeated Senior Xiao Muzhen. Does that mean that I have defeated Senior Xiao Muzhen?"
"——Actually, we won once, right? That was the time Kazuya rejected the predecessor Xiao Muzhen for her. No matter what reason Kazuya told me, I would treat it as we won. With that time, I look forward to it. More, isn't it normal?"
"However, this is not right. My self-righteous support, my self-righteous help, does not take into account the feelings of the sea at all. It is completely out of my selfish consideration-it should be said that it is purely because I’m not reconciled. I’m really bad. I have already announced the renunciation. Because I have announced the renunciation, I dare not compete in an upright manner, so I can only use this method of exploitation. . Until just now, I finally realized this."
"I didn’t think about the child’s will. I didn’t think about what the child did was originally for me. I didn’t really appreciate the pain and contradiction in the child’s heart. I just felt that the child could represent me and win. This battle is fine. I think, even if I really win, after a brief victory, I might be jealous of that child? After all, I just treat her as my substitute and my copy That's it. By that time, the price I have paid may be even greater than it is now."
"So, although the performance was terrible just now, it is really good to let me know your determination, Heya!"
After finishing the long monologue in one breath, Koharu Sugiura showed a brilliant smile that was a little too bright.
I nodded dumbly, understood every word of Xiaochun, and understood all her feelings, but I didn't know how to respond.
However, Xiaochun gave me a chance to respond.
"So, now that I know what I think, now that I know that I am still unwilling to give up at the beginning, if I can, and also, can I ask you one more question?"
I already know what she is going to do.
"Now, if it's now, if it's the current that has broken with Senior Xiao Muzhen, can you choose me, Heya?"
Resolutely, my face hurt a bit with the courageous gaze.
This time, it was different from the last time. Last time, she said goodbye to herself. This time, I need to give her an answer.
"Sorry, I think it's at this time that I can't accept your feelings even more. I want to find someone to rely on, which is different from love."
"Yeah, I know, I understand, I understand and I will do something--but when I am in danger, it is my last chance. I have already done what I have done well, right? Right?"
"Well, success made me hesitate, Xiaochun."
"But, if you just hesitate, there is no way!" She closed her eyes and turned around, "Actually, there is one more thing—"
"Before coming to see you, Hai Wei asked me to bring you this."
I looked at the disc in my hand and felt a little dazed for a while.
"Sing a very good song, if you can accept it."