October 15th. Late at night.
Watlod succeeded in vaporizing brilliantly in yesterday morning's training as to whether there had been a change of heart after being named commander. Proof that the strength and spiritual strength of the students chosen as delegates have also reached the realm of the advanced knight class will now take the form of this. And then even the mute will be in brilliant vaporization, if possible -.
Everyone noticed.
So she was fighting herself alone in the Inn practice area this late at night.
"... why, if not?
The unseen forces disperse from the elaborated side, overflowing outside the powerful body and pushing the atmosphere.
I spill my questions depressingly small with tremendous practice, but mute knew the answer at last. It's not an inferiority that you can't brilliantly vaporize just yourself, it's not a guilt that's pulling your legs. I was just too reluctant to accept the trigger I was aware of right now.
I wonder if I have anything else, whether I look for it, whether I look for it, I can't find it.
- Now what do you get lost in?
She felt herself questioned. The child's memory flashed in the back of his brain, and the temperature of the burning heat at the time and the stench burned by it were felt even though there was none.
"... Shut up. What's wrong with getting lost"
- What did you get the sword for? What did you put your strength into it for?
"Are you saying that being drunk by hatred is all I have?
He puts his frustration on his face as he keeps practicing, pushes and kills the yell up to his throat, and inquires. I didn't want to be emotional and disparage myself any more. I wanted to be a legitimate person who would not lose reason, who would not be drunk by evil emotions.
- Are you relieved? Kind knights, etc., and not denying everything that's ever happened?
"I can't be trapped by distorted hatred, I think I can find a place for you to accept me"
With my mouth, I think of myself like that, subsiding next to a boy whose back length is lower than mine.
- It's a funny thing. There are others who want to be there. Like myself, my heart is not dirty, etc. What more than I deserve. Knowing and still miserable. I'm stuck with one of those bullshit. You don't even know how serious you are.
He sees himself through and tells me that he has turned away.
"No, don't think about it anymore... this isn't happening"
- So neither your father, nor your mother, can float.
Mute couldn't stand it anymore.
"Get lost!"
I touched my mind and stepped on the community too with all the strength I could hold.
On the ground that was stepped on, there was a blunt sound and about three medas of crack ran. Her skill in exercising all that power was at a height not surprising that she was already in brilliant vaporization.
If we affirm our conscious aspirations as a strong will, we will never be able to take the normal path again. I don't feel that way. And I can't find anything else I want. I'm in a hurry because I can't change myself like that forever...
No more force in the knee, sitting perfectly on the ground.
"I know. I admit that I believe that that's the man who should be slashed by me. But slaughter, and then what? If that man had a family, would someone who admired that come to kill me? I keep getting resented by it and one day will it be slaughtered? Or I don't even..."
Keep your emotions to yourself. At the end I tied it with one worrying word. It was fundamental to denial, and it was something that was still stopping itself from being affirmed again.
"... I did it, can I still hope to be there?
Without the usual shadow of Rin, he drips weakly forever.
It would be easier if we accepted it together. But it will carry a cause incompatible with the will of one who thinks. Sometimes what I would lose was too big in me.
"Mr. Mute?
Fu, mute was called out by someone.
Now that I've been at the heart of my thinking, I know who I am without looking. Mute listened silently to the bright voice that was made somewhere in it that could be called on.
"If I hadn't slept a little and it was in the wind at night, I would have heard things from the exercise area... you were Mr. Mute. Could it be training in brilliant vaporization? I knew Mr. Mute was a hard-working man. But you know I didn't tell you, but it's late at night, and you should rest today..."
Stand on your knees and face back slowly. Reach out to those who hear that voice. Hold that little body from your hips. Push your head against that pocket. Make sure you don't see the face to bury.
"... Mr. Mute?
"Sorry...... just a little bit. Just a little, okay..."
Strongly connected, the person who was surprised became an adult.
Mute swallowed and cried. Even myself, I wasn't clear why I was doing this. Not to be enlightened, not to be enlightened, but every time I did, the way I cried became overt, I could not indulge.
At dawn, Mute offered John.
"... instead of brilliant vaporization, he wants to master the art of breaking brilliant vaporization with practice?
If you can't vaporize brilliantly, I thought you should master something else. I was convinced that continuing the same training would not be fruitful. If it was enough to reinforce evil sentiment and waste time, he said it would be more constructive now - or once away from that training, he also wanted to sort his mind out.
"Yes. To me..."
"Fine. I tell Lord Nene how to do it. Learn as much as you can from her."
Although it was a sudden offer, the response was quick.
As a matter of fact, it was ready. John and Nene, as well as some of the other teachers, felt why mutts couldn't vaporize brilliantly. Especially when Nene was concerned about the darkness of his mind, which was about to sprout again. So when the proposal came up, she was taking the initiative, too.
"Are you ready? Half-breed mastery kills you, doesn't it?
"I don't mind. It's better than being killed by yourself".
Even if that's what you make, in public you laugh and show it. It also made me feel easier by making weak sounds that I had been hoarding for a long time, above all trying to be the person I could face who accepted me silently.
Mute thought it should at least be now.