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Interrupted memories started again when I was soaking wet and standing in front of the hospital room.
I don't remember how many, how many hours I ran around.
The soles of my feet were sore from being left barefoot, and it hurt badly with blisters and cuts.
I'm afraid to open the door for some reason, and I can't take a step.
The indoor lights in the hospital were dim everywhere, and there were times when they were awkward because of it.
It took courage to remember why I was standing here.
Kaoruhei... Mother, I'm waiting for you.
My wet father, like me, pushed his back.
The cheek I just got slapped on hurt twitching.
If I was hovering a rainstorm in the 3D parking lot of the department store I wanted to go to, my haunted shaped father let me out of breath and all of a sudden he showed up, beat me up with or without, and then he brought me here strong and strong and gently held me.
It was already dark outside and the rain hadn't stopped yet.
"And, Dad. Why the hospital? Shohei, I knew you were sick?
'... good, come in. Because it's okay. Mom, I'm not mad.'
I was wondering if Shohei was feeling worse because of my selfishness.
Now that I think about it, there's no causality at all, but it just seemed like it to me when I was young.
"Ugh, yeah."
He gently pushed his back again and finally grabbed the handle on the door.
The door, which was a drawer, opened completely smoother than I imagined and narrowed my eyes slightly because the lights inside were dazzling.
"... Kaoruhei?
I heard my mother's voice.
Sure, it's my mother's voice, but it was stuck and misheard.
My mother was lying in bed.
I'm just moving my neck as I lay down, taking my arm out of the duvet, and stretching it out to me.
"Kaoruhei, good... where have you been? Your father found me, didn't he? Are you hurt? Oh, it's so wet, Kohei-kun, I have a bath towel over there. Oh, my leg isn't full of injuries! I need to see a doctor. We're not done accepting, are we?
"Good, you stay asleep"
I move my body back and forth to get up, and my father can stop me right away.
My voice was stuck because I was wearing an oxygen mask.
At the time, I didn't know what it was called, but I quickly understood that it was something that a sick person would wear who looked good on TV or something.
"Or, Mother! Why!? What's wrong!? Dad! '
I rushed right over to bed and grabbed my mother's hand.
"Huh!? Or, Mother......?
Always warm, gentle mother's hand.
It tickles me when I'm stroked, happy mother's hand.
My favorite hand like that was cold as ice.
'Oh, already. So cold...... take a bath as soon as you get home eeeee'
"One, it's your mother who's cold!
He was more worried about my body than about my own.
I couldn't help but be anxious to hold my hand with a hand that had no power at all and say a novel as if it were normal.
Unsurprisingly, blocking that word out loud, my mother let go of my hand, removed my oxygen mask and put my index finger on my mouth.
"Shh. Shohei is asleep. This is a hospital, so be quiet, okay?
"Shohei?
For the first time in those words, I realized that Shohei was asleep next to my mother.
He is affixed a cooling sheet to his forehead, breathing roughly, grabbing his mother's shoulder and closing his eyes.
"... Kaoruhei. Dept, are you sorry?
'Yes, it's good. Me, I'm sorry I said it myself, too. Next time your mother and Shohei get better, let's go.'
At this time, I was finally honest.
The bad news is that I didn't know what to say. Stupid me.
Even though Shohei's not feeling well, it's all my fault that I put my mother in trouble and told her I hated her about me.
My father can stroke my head.
Only then did I rely badly on that hand, which I always scratch with Gushagusha.
When I looked at my father's face wondering, he looked at me like I was in trouble and bent his mouth to the letter to.
Kaoruhei... Promise me your mother. "
I see my mother again.
Mother with no heart or blue and white face smiled gently and stroked my cheek.
"Promise?"
"Yes. Promise."
Gently untie that hand so as not to wake Shohei, slowly awake her body and wrap her mother around my cheek with both hands.
Feeling that cold hand gradually regaining the temperature, I let myself feel safe and cheeky in that hand.
'The most important thing is to protect Shohei for you. Kaoruhei is your brother, so be sure to help him when his brother is in trouble or in danger, okay?
"No, you don't have to tell me that."
Because he's a cute, important, precious brother.
It's natural to protect it.
'Yeah. Great. That's your brother. Next thing you know, don't put your father in too much trouble.
"Dad's gonna make fun of me, isn't he?
My father was bothered by me coming to tear me up with a nasty grin, because I was always better.
"Haha. When you say that, you fight back properly? What my mother is saying is that your father always works hard for Kaoruhei and Shohei, so I hope you don't say too much about Wagamama. Yeah, but sometimes it's good, right? Until it's a little bigger, 'cause Wagamama is Kaoruhei's privilege.'
"What the hell?"
I was pinched on my cheek more forcefully than just now, and it was like I was back to my normal mother, and I almost forgot that that was the hospital room.
"Special rights for children only. And even if someone's in trouble, I'm gonna help you, okay? Because pretending not to look is what a cool boy does. But you can't hit me or kick me. Try to get the adults around you to cooperate and not just get hurt, okay?
"Ugh, yeah."
At this point, I noticed that my mother's attitude was strange.
Even though what is said is the same as usual, it seems as if the promise contains no mother.
The anxiety that pulled me in once came out of my face again, gripping me hard with my own hand from the top of my mother's hand wrapping her cheeks.
"Dinner should be eaten properly every day. I've taught you a little bit about cooking, but don't make it too difficult, okay? When you use a knife and a fire, you can never joke about it, can you? Oh, taking a proper bath every day. If you don't tell me like before, I'll be in trouble. Brush your teeth properly before you go to bed and finish your homework with a kitten. You can't play too many games, either, can you? Don't even eat a bunch of sweets, oh, and that. '
"Kaoru."
My father stopped my mother talking like she was in a hurry.
As usual, my father looks at my mother with sad eyes, without wiping the droplets dripping from her wet body as she lays her hands on my head.
"... yeah"
My mother, with her father in sight, nodded deeply once and looked at me again.
Keep your eyes and eyes together, straight, so you don't miss it all the way back to me.
"... Kaoruhei Kaoru waits for the wind. Remember? '
'Uh, yeah. I remember you.'
Ever since I was a little girl, I've been asked, a courageous bully.
That spell, which I don't even know if I've heard hundreds or thousands of times, I remember it all properly.
"Kaoruhei Kaoru waits for the wind. Sniff the Kaoru of the Wind and fly with Bun whenever, wherever and whenever you want to fly.... Remember this spell if anything happens to the Twilight. It's good that I cried when I wanted to. You can run if you want to. But I always try my best to eat up my teeth once and see if I lose. Kaoruhei is... an unbeatable child, isn't he? I'm a proud child of my mother."
My mother speaks to me in my favorite, beautiful and gentle voice.
'Ugh, yeah. You're not gonna lose, are you?
Something like that.
To who, or something.
I nodded forcefully without raising such detailed questions.
'Yeah. Good girl. Really good kid.... my treasures'
My mother was crying.
Dyed bright red around his eyes, suppressing even his trembling voice, but he was overwhelmed with tears.
Words jammed into the shock as if the heart had been ejected.
Because I've never seen my mother's crying face before.
"Or, Mother? That was a lie, wasn't it? What I just said, ho, you really don't think? I'm sorry... do... Ugh. Oh, my God, I'm sorry. Hiya, home, get out, you, uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh. '
Mother and father don't hate me.
But I said that, so I made my mother cry.
If that's what you think, I don't know what it is anymore.
Something hot pushing from the back of my eyeball endlessly comes out of my tears all at once.
'No. No, Kaoruhei. It's your mother who needs to apologize. Isn't Kaoruhei bad? I'm sorry? I love you, Kaoruhei. I really love it. Because I love it - ooh.'
"Uh-huh, uh, hiccup, uh, wow!
In my mother's chest holding me in haste, I keep crying without knowing how to make amends.
"Because I love Kaoruhei, my mother has to tell Kaoruhei the truth. So, you know what? Kampei, Kampei, Kampei. Oh, my Kaoruhei '
It's like she's floating in heat, and my mother keeps calling my name.
Her hugged body was strong enough to hurt, and her mother cling to me desperately.
Don't mind my shirt wet with rain, keep hugging hard and hard.
"... Kaoru. If it's hard, I'll tell you. '
My father shrugged as I sat back in bed and stroked Shohei's sleeping hair.
'No, you can't. I've been deciding for a long time. To Kaoruhei, say it properly. Shohei may not know because he's still small, so at least Kaoruhei alone says I will. Until the end, I don't want to lie to this girl.'
He accidentally pushes his body away and grabs his shoulder.
I was surprised by the momentum. I took a breath, opened my eyes and looked at my mother.
I will never forget those beautiful eyes with deep sadness, great kindness and strong determination.
Kaoruhei, you're my mother...?
I slowly opened my thin pink lips, and my mother told me.
"Uh-huh. Soon, I'll be dead."
I was in elementary school for four years. Shohei is what happened in kindergarten spring.
At the end of the day, my mother never went home.
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