Only with Your Heart

Never again, I thought a day like this would come.

He said he would never hold her in this arm again... and by believing that, Ruklov has survived the last four years. I don't love Chizuru anymore. That's why I'm not looking for her anymore.

That was the only way he could live, and the only condolences (and murmurs) for "those two" that were sacrificed.

Because if Luklov had just given up Chizuru, they would still be alive.

The sun goes down and dims, and the little room I gave to Thousand Cranes slowly soaks into the darkness.

Ruklov's skin was gently covered in sweat as he persisted many times in holding his lover back from a world unlikely to come, driven by a desire that sprang up indefinitely.

But it's still not enough.

Not yet. If I hadn't carved myself more into her flesh, Ruklov's soul would not have gained peace. It was still a mystery whether or not we would ever really get something like that.

Chizuru's body, which she held so abusively, is completely blue, sweat that she no longer knows if it belongs to her or to Luklov, and wet all over the place in white liquid. Finally, Ruklov still, unfortunately, fingered the limb of Chizuru, who lay still unconscious.

"Mmm..."

Sweet, soft voice can be heard leaking from cold lips.

As if it were the sound of a bell heard from heaven, the gentle voice color that fills Luklov's chest is not dimensionally different from what he remembered fourteen years ago.

This can't be happening.

Fourteen years changed everything about Luklov. Many years old, I went through hell, I lost my friends, I lost my heart.

No more, Luklov didn't know how to love her. With myself when I lost everything and got old. With a thousand cranes that remain young and pure, no different than they were fourteen years ago.

Even the remnants of the sunset, which leaked slightly through the window, were enough to illuminate the presence of a thousand cranes in Luklov's eyes.

No scratches, white and soft skin.

Luxurious, relaxed limbs with sensitive chest tops.

There is no single brown hair as thin and glossy as silk, and it spreads over the bed. I remember liking to put my fingers through this hair. And worst of all, touching her hair like this again still makes her breasts as hot as they were back then.

And above all, Chizuru seemed to have a completely unchanged heart than he had fourteen years ago.

With that gentle and refreshing heart, she melted Luklov's heart, which was frozen. Memories of the two of us twitching innocently creep back to Lucroff's heart, sealed deep in thick ice again. That was the happiest time of my life......

Already, I should have given up on getting it back, a distant past.

Ruklov was just supposed to end the rest of his life by devoting himself to the rule of the land on this border.

How much hardship do you think you've been licking by the time you're so determined?

"You're nothing... I don't understand"

Ruklov lurked his voice in exasperation and groaned. "There is no love, then... Did you believe that bullshit?

Love is not without.

Without a doubt, it stands in front of you like a rock so huge and stubborn that you can't even look away.

I just couldn't figure out how Ruklov should go beyond the time separation of fourteen years.

Since giving up Chizuru four years ago, Ruklov tried not to think about her, and lived in vain hope that someday time would erase this thought.

And that, at least while there was sun in the sky, had been a little success. At night, when the sun set and darkness came, except for her in the sweet memory of visiting dreams like ghosts, Ruklov was beginning to learn the art of living and going alone.

Ten years of hell. Four years of emptiness.

Plus... once, I could stand it. But the second time, no more.

What if, again, something like losing her happened...?

In a gloomy mood, I could hear people's footsteps approaching Luklov's ears looking at Chizuru, who was completely exhausted and fell asleep. It's a woman's footsteps. There was a general anticipation of who would come to Ruklov.

A short knock full of formalities knocks on the door and soon Alde with a candle enters the room.

"Dear Chizuru, dinner is ready for you in the dining room..."

And I said, and the middlewoman, who noticed the shadow of the castle master in her bed in the dim darkness, raised her voice, "Well."

"Oh, um... I'm sorry... It's time to start dinner..."

"I don't mind, I'm the one who told you to come get Chizuru. It's just that she's tired and she's already asleep. After a long journey, too. I'm not going out to the dining room tonight. Tell that to everyone."

"Yes, sir"

And to Alde, who still said he kept asking questions, Ruklov put his index finger close to his mouth and made a noise from between his teeth sheepishly.

The other hand keeps stroking Chizuru's hair.

Alde turned his face bright red, unworthy of his age, and, in a moment of grace, hurriedly closed the door.

In the darkness of his visit again, Luklov raised the edge of his mouth mocking himself as he held a sleeping thousand cranes.

I never thought I was this stupid, either, just Ruklov.