Only with Your Heart

Luklov still dreamed of the day when Chizuru disappeared frequently.

It's not just dreams of visiting you in your sleep (or so on), but waking up… for example, during a meal, you get attacked by such daydreams that your surrounding voices can no longer hear you, and your sweat starts to smudge on your forehead.

It was the same after I reunited with Chizuru, and when I did not see her for a little while, I accidentally struck Ruklov as if they were ill or something, and tormented him for a long time.

Ruklov walked in with his leg kicking the door of her room as he held Chizuru's body completely chilled into the outside air and rain, but immediately stopped to realize that there was no fireplace here.

"Let's make it my room. 'Cause I'll light the fireplace right away."

Teaching him that, Chizuru stared at him as surprised and opened his lips to say something, but eventually he nodded silently.

Indeed, until today, Ruklov had never invited Chizuru to his room. I don't even know why. Maybe it was because I was unconsciously, drawing lines in my mind.

If I put her in my room, I can't turn back, he said.

It's a ridiculous story because we came to a point where we couldn't turn back in the first place, but still there were dark fears swirling around in Luklov.

What if she disappears again? That, fear.

I wanted the unwavering certainty that Chizuru would never leave again, and it was difficult to be honest until I got it.

Having hurt her deeply in the process left an unforgivable regret for Ruklov, but no more strays. You two still have a future. Luklov was going to love, comfort and make amends to Thousand Cranes as much as he needed them from now on - no, more than he needed them.

Through the inner door, the bedroom of the castle owner, much larger than Chizuru's room, greets the two of them.

There was no light, but Ruklov remembered almost everything in the room's placement, so even with his eyes closed, he had no difficulty reaching the nearby candlestick.

Once Chizuru was lowered to the floor, Ruklov started a fire and turned on the light, transferring the fire to the fireplace as well.

Thanks to the fact that dry leaves were prepared for the fire to spread easily, the fireplace quickly burns out red. Behind Luklov, I heard Chizuru sigh of relief with a howl.

Looking back, Chizuru is fascinated by the flames that slowly warm the room as he tightens the collar of his coat with both hands.

"Come here, Chizul"

Chizuru took Ruklov's outstretched hand honestly and proceeded forward and lined up next to him.

A burning flame warms the two cold bodies, illuminating the contours of their faces with orange. For a while, we stared at the flames that kept us from saying anything to each other, as if we were going to bite the silence.

As the perimeter of the fireplace had warmed somewhat, Ruklov turned to Thousand Cranes and put his hand on the collar of her feather-woven wet coat.

"You should take it off"

"Yeah...... But, um..."

As Chizuru's eyes swayed somewhere bewildered, Ruklov put a gentle smile on her face to reassure her and let her take off her coat with the gentlest method she could.

"I remember. I'm not doing anything tonight."

In fact, as long as it belonged to Chizuru, such as the Moon itself, at least, Ruklov didn't care at all. To be honest with you, Ruklov is on the spot right now, where he wants to peel off all of her clothes, make her look like a piece of shit and warm her up.

The only thing Chizuru wore was light sleeping clothes, so it took a lot of self-control and patience to keep them from pulling it off as they wanted.

When we finished taking each other's coats off, they sat on the front floor of the fireplace hugging each other.

Ruklov enveloped Chizuru's back, leaning his nose against the narrow neck muscles to indulge in her scent. Chizuru also slowly slips one hand onto Ruklov's cheek (cheek) and gently closes his lid as if to taste the feeling.

Time proceeded peacefully, and Ruklov felt the peace of mind for the first time in fourteen years.

After a while, Chizuru shrugged pompously.

"Here's the thing...... I miss it"

Ruklov knew right away what he was talking about. Because, in fact, Luklov was thinking the same thing.

Once upon a time, for the first winter since they met, they often warmed up as they hugged each other in front of the flames. The first time I thought they were tied was before the fireplace flames like this. Of course, it was not such a splendid place as the master bedroom of a castle, but a flattering corner of a private house, but Chizuru learned to be a woman for the first time, and Ruklov gained satisfaction from the bottom of his soul for the first time.

Ruklov gave a gentle mouthful to the apex of Chizuru's head.

"I don't... I'm not sure I miss it. I've been dreaming every night of hugging you like this in front of a flame. Sometimes I couldn't tell the difference between reality and dreams... and sometimes when I realized it was a dream, I couldn't stop crying"

Chizuru looks back at Luklov all the time.

"Tears...?

"Oh."

"Did you cry...?

"Is that funny?

I couldn't believe myself for fluently confessing to this. Even if Chizuru himself was the opponent, it wasn't meant to be taught. But the words came out naturally tonight.

Chizuru also gave an uncut look that reminded him of something and shook his neck to the side.

"Yeah...... I, too, cried because I missed Luklov"

"Don't tell the loan."

I was going to tell you a joke, but Chizuru replied, "Yeah," as she nodded in a serious face.

When I missed her voice, wanted to smell her scent, wanted to see her smile, and realized that I might never get any of that again, something slowly died in Luklov. Stronger than I wanted to breathe the next time, I wandered in search of her.

That's how now, again, I'm holding her in my arms.

I was feeling the wound slowly, but surely, gently, healed and blocked as it was slowly mutilated and kept bleeding.

"That woman,"

Luklov began to explain monotonously, making sure the fireplace fire didn't get too strong. "She's the daughter of a man named Count Kaftor. Kaftor has land outside my territory. I've been brought to this castle several times by my father."

Ruklov chose the words carefully.

Because I wanted to get rid of Chizuru's anxiety before I started talking about it.

"... the king didn't just give me this land in good faith. This neighborhood was an insecure perimeter, with small landowners like Kaftor on the verge of war with repeated territorial strife. The first man to pick you up this time is one of them. I guess I thought it would be best to calm down that kind of rough land. It's not because I wanted to celebrate my accomplishments because it gives the Duke a higher status than it should, because it works better for the other landlords."

Finally, I guess I had the feeling that Ruklov wouldn't mind if I were to be involved in such a war and lose my life... but I didn't bother to tell him that.

Mr. Rodolgo.

"Was that the name? Though I don't think it's necessary to attach 'Mr.'."

Chizuru smiled slightly and let him narrow his shoulders.

It reminds me of a few days in Luklov when I traveled with Rodolgo. Normally, all I had to do was send one or two trusted knights out for confirmation. I didn't even believe in Rodolgo's story.

Still, something poked and moved Luklov.

And they were reunited.

"Kaftor is particularly sophisticated among them. The other guys' territory could have been almost leveled over a four-year period, but only he's stubbornly aiming to expand his power behind him, while showing a bare gesture to follow me on the face. Sometimes it's a hostile inspection of friendship."

As the flame grew even higher and the dead branches began to scatter some firepowder, Ruklov held it all the way into his chest to cover a thousand cranes.

"That woman was the only daughter of a guy who could have done it late, and she came here with her father sometimes. Sure, I've shown you my mind, but I've never dealt with them."

Chizuru is still blinking in a nasty way, staring into the fireplace.

After all the pain, I couldn't have made her feel any harder anymore. Ruklov slowly grabbed her left hand and gripped it as he put his lips to Chizuru's neck muscle.

"Anything Kaftor seems to be trying to rival me around this territory, flogging old bodies and starting to be a lot impotent. That woman didn't want to see her father run off like that, and she came to suggest that if she married me, everything would fit in circles."

Ruklov shook his head like a shudder and added: "Stupid thing."

Chizuru snubbed, snapping with a small voice.

"But... she was beautiful... and she seemed confident."

"That's why I said it was stupid. I'm not willing to argue about the definition of beautiful beauty, but to me, that woman just looks like a horse."

"Horses......"

Chizuru, who blew out, seemed relieved for a moment, but soon, again, he returns to his original uneasy expression.

Oh, shit, and Ruklov poisoned it in his heart.

Always is. When Chizuru's smile was on, Ruklov lost his cool all the time. You can't go out on fools you shouldn't have done, slip your mouth on things you shouldn't have said, or wait for something more to wait...

Ruklov's hand was exploring a hidden bag sewn on the chest of his skin.

The cold metal feel was quickly found and it didn't take long to pull it out. When you grasp the "it" you took out and touch the left hand of Chizuru, carefully look for the drug finger.

"Luklov......?

Chizuru was perplexed, looking alternately at his own hand and Luklov's face.

Ruklov put a golden ring through Chizuru's pharmacopoeia with the most polite trick possible. Chizuru then stiffens his body tingly and stares at Ruklov as he rocks his eyes wide. Ruklov smiled and explained slowly, being careful not to sound as tragic as possible.

"It was fourteen years ago that I let you make this. While the goldsmith was making this, the key bride disappeared."

"Flowers, marry..."

"Enough of that. After all these years, I was able to fit in exactly where I was supposed to be."

Lucrov narrowed his eyes, thinking of the days of crying that he would never forget.

I have a brand new ring in my hand that I made for a thousand cranes. I have clear memories of Chizuru in my heart, and I can hear her voice vividly just by closing my eyes.

But she can't be found.

Wherever you look, no matter how many names you scream, the only thing that returns is a vain wooden spirit (special).

Hope fades every day, but love recruits with pieces. It was like living hell in this world every day.

"This is a sign that I swear allegiance and eternal love to you. But your world meant something else...? You think it's a gift from a suitor?"

Chizuru scowled as he stared down at the ring.

"You remembered me."

"I've never forgotten even for a moment. Chizuru,"

Ruklov spun a thousand cranes in his arms, and the two took the form of facing each other and staring at each other. Behind a thousand cranes, the fireplace flames burn, even if it's not, heating the bodies of two people who are getting hot, even more.

"Marry me. Be my wife, not just in my heart, but in my name, with my whole life. I swear I will do all I can for your happiness with all my soul... instead there is only one promise I want from you. Just stay by my side until the day this breath stops."