Chapter 90: THE SEND OFF
KEISHA’S POV
I hadn’t moved from where I stood.
Just stood there at the edge of the garden path looking at him sitting on the bench with smoke curling up into the cold dark air.
"I didn’t know you smoked." I said again when he didn’t respond.
He looked at the cigarette like he had briefly forgotten it was there. "I don’t." He said. "Usually."
"What counts as usually?" I asked.
"When things are straightforward." He turned around slightly. "Which isn’t often."
I came, sat on the other end of the bench and pulled my coat tighter and looked at the dark garden in front of us.
The pack grounds beyond the wall were quiet. No patrol sounds, no movement. Just the cold and the dark and the two of us.
"You came to my door tonight." I said. "To clear up the store thing."
"Yes." He nodded.
"You didn’t have to." I said.
"I know." He smiled.
"So why did you?" I said.
He took a slow draw on the cigarette and let it out. "Because you were going to spend the whole night thinking about it." He said. "And thinking about it wrong."
"I was going to spend the whole night being embarrassed." I chuckled. "That’s different"
"You weren’t wrong to think what you thought." He muttered. "Given everything. I have followed you before."
"You said that." I said. "After Orin."
"Yes." He nodded.
"Is that the only reason you’ve followed me?" I said. "After Orin?"
He was quiet.
"Because you followed me before Orin too." I said. "Around the estate. Before any of that happened." I looked at him. "I noticed."
He looked at the garden.
"The bond." I pointed out. "Is that what it is?"
"Partly." He said.
"And the other part?" I said.
He turned the cigarette over in his fingers. "You’re not careful enough." He said. "You walk into things without enough caution. You chased an intruder at midnight in your pajamas. You march across stores confronting people." Something pulled at the corner of his mouth. "Someone needed to be paying attention."
"That sounds like caring." I whispered.
He said nothing.
"Dane." I called out.
"It is." He said simply. Like he had decided to just say it rather than dance around it. "It is caring. If that’s what you want to call it."
I looked at him but he looked at the garden.
"What were you thinking about?" I asked. "Before I came. What’s more complicated than usual?"
He was quiet for a long moment. Long enough that I thought he wasn’t going to answer. Then— "Things that don’t have clean answers." He said.
"Like?" I pressed.
He looked at me sideways. "Like whether the things I’ve done to protect people have actually protected them." He said. "Or just — moved the danger somewhere else."
I looked at him. "What things?"
He shook his head slightly. "Not tonight." He suddenly muttered.
"When?" I said.
"When I can say it properly." He groaned and looked at me. "I owe you an explanation for something. I know that. I’m just not—" He stopped. "I need a bit more time."
Lyra.
He was talking about Lyra.
I looked at his profile in the dark. Why wouldn’t he just say it?
"Okay." I said. "When you’re ready."
He looked at me and something moved through his face. "Thank you." He said quietly.
We sat in the cold for a while after that. Not talking. The cigarette burned down and he didn’t light another one and the garden was still around us as the bond hummed its low steady frequency between us.
"You should sleep." I said eventually. "Party tomorrow."
"You should sleep." He pointed out. "You’re the one who organised most of it."
"Evelyn organised most of it after everything." I said. "I just did the parts she assigned me."
"Which was most of it." He laughed.
"Three things." I admitted. "She did one."
He almost laughed again. "Go to bed, Keisha." He said.
"Goodnight, Dane." I smiled.
I stood, walked back toward my house and felt the cold on my face as I thought about what he had said. Things that don’t have clean answers. Whether the things I’ve done to protect people have actually protected them.
I went inside, lay down and closed my eyes.
****************
The party was in the east common room and by the time Nadia and I arrived, it had already filled up with people and noise and the energy of a room full of colleagues who had decided to enjoy themselves.
I had the gift in my bag— something for Mrs Velaris’s grandchildren, a set of illustrated books about animals that I had spent an embarrassing amount of time choosing from a shop on the estate boundary— and I carried it in, found the gift table, put it down and looked around.
The room looked good. Evelyn and Peter had handled the decorations and they had kept it simple which was the right call. Flowers on the tables, the good tablecloths from the store room, photographs of Mrs Velaris through the years pinned to a board near the entrance that people were already gathering around.
Sera found me immediately. "You look incredible." She gushed. "That colour."
"Thank you." I said. "You look beautiful."
"I do." She said, without false modesty. "Peter is already on his second drink and we’ve been here fifteen minutes. Just so you know."
"Good to have information." I smiled.
"I thought so." She smiled and looked at Nadia beside me. "Is this—"
"Nadia." Nadia said, holding her hand out. "I’ve heard a lot about you."
Sera’s face lit up. "Good things I hope."
"Mixed." Nadia said pleasantly. "Mostly good."
Sera laughed. "I like her." She said to me.
"Everyone likes her." I laughed. "It’s a problem."
Nadia looked satisfied.
We moved through the room. People stopped me to compliment the dress and I thanked them and introduced Nadia and she was exactly what she always was — sweet, immediately comfortable and making everyone feel like they had known her longer than they had. Within twenty minutes she had talked to nine different people and remembered all their names.
Then someone appeared at my elbow.
"Keisha, right?" A man in his mid-twenties, well dressed, with the confidence of someone who moved through rooms comfortably. "I’m Arden. I’m with the eastern border administrative team."
"Keisha." I introduced myself. "Communications."
"I know." He said. "I’ve heard you’re the one who pulled this whole thing together."
"I helped." I said. "Evelyn did most of it."
"Evelyn is terrifying." He said. "I’m not sure if that’s a compliment."
"It is." I nodded. "Don’t tell her I said that though."
He smiled. Then he looked past me at Nadia and back at me with an expression that was trying to be casual. "Is that—" He started.
"Yes." I nodded.
"Right." He said. He cleared his throat. "She’s the Alpha’s daughter."
"She is." I said.
He was quiet for a moment. "Any chance you could put in a word?" He said. "With the Alpha. About the eastern border administrative team’s staffing request. We’ve been understaffed for months and if someone with direct access could just—"
"I can’t do that." I cut him off.
"Even just a mention—"
"I genuinely cannot." I said.
He looked slightly deflated.
Nadia appeared at my shoulder like she had been summoned. "Hi." She said to Arden brightly. "I’m Nadia. My father disowned me last week so I’m afraid I have no influence whatsoever."
Arden blinked and I pressed my lips together very hard.
He looked between us. "Oh." He said. "I’m sorry to hear that."
"It’s been difficult." Nadia pressed a hand to her chest. "We’re managing."
"Right." He said. "Well." He excused himself somewhat quickly.
The moment he was out of earshot I looked at Nadia. "He didn’t disown you." I rolled my eyes. "You left."
"Details." She said as she watched him go with a small smile. "He’s quite cute actually."
"Nadia." I warned.
"I’m just observing." She said. "It’s neutral."
I shook my head.
The microphone crackled and the room turned toward the front where Peter was standing with a glass raised looking like he had been waiting for this moment his entire career.
"If everyone could find a seat." He said. "We have some things to say before we eat all the food."
The speeches were good. Peter’s was longer than it needed to be but genuinely something we all needed to hear. A few people came out to give their speeches and I listened, clapping at the end of each.
Mrs Velaris stood at the end and looked at all of us with the composed expression she always wore and then her voice cracked slightly on the second sentence.
"I had such a fun time here with you guys and—"
I sat beside Nadia and listened and felt something warm bloom in my chest as Mrs Velaris spoke.
Then the new supervisor was introduced.
A man. Younger than I expected, maybe mid-thirties, with a direct way of looking at a room that I noted instantly. He said a few brief words about looking forward to working with the team and sat back down and the room applauded and moved into the general party portion of the evening.
Music started, someone brought more food out and the volume went up.
Nadia was immediately on her feet. "Dance floor." She urged.
"I’m going to stay here." I said.
"Keisha—"
"I’ll watch." I said. "Go."
She gave me a look and then Arden appeared from somewhere and said something to her that made her tilt her head and then she was being led to the dance floor while I sat back and watched.
People asked me to dance.
I said no thank you to all of them pleasantly and they moved on as I sat, watched and drank my water and was actually content in a way I hadn’t expected.
The evening wore on.
At some point I looked around for Nadia and couldn’t see her.
I found her eventually near the far wall talking to Arden with the body language of someone who was having a very good time. She caught my eye over his shoulder and gave me a look that said she was fine.
I messaged her. "I’m leaving. Are you okay?"
She tapped at her screen. "More than okay. Go. I’ll be back later."
I picked up my bag, said goodbye to Sera and Evelyn who were deep in a conversation that looked important and waved me off warmly, then I found Peter, thanked him for the speeches and walked out into the cool night air.
I just needed to sleep now.