Chapter 268 - 267: Coercion
He didn’t try to change the subject. That single, direct word was utterly unadorned, as if he had dissected his own heart and laid it bare before her, completely at her mercy.
Joanna Kennedy studied Simon Lockwood intently. This was a man she had known for only half a month, a man she had met a mere three times.
Just as Nina Kim had said, Simon Lockwood was exceptionally handsome and carried himself well. Based on looks alone, he was the type of man who could easily make someone fall in love at first sight.
On him, the hearing aid seemed to transform into a trivial accessory. It didn’t detract from his charm in the slightest; in fact, it made people want to get closer.
It was as if a perfect, untouchable flower blooming on a high mountain finally revealed a flaw, giving one the illusion that it could be plucked.
Joanna Kennedy was surprised by her own favorable impression of Simon Lockwood. She leaned back in a relaxed posture, looking up at him.
Though she was physically looking up at him, the imbalance of their feelings lent her posture an air of superiority.
"Why do you like me, Mr. Lockwood? Can you give me a reason?" Joanna Kennedy asked, a half-smile on her face. "Is it because of my looks, or because you like the shows I’ve been in?"
Joanna Kennedy sighed softly. "A fan’s affection is different from romantic feelings between a man and a woman," she said. "If the person you like is the me you see on screen, then I have to be honest—that’s just a persona. The real me is very different."
Half-joking, half-serious, Joanna Kennedy listed her own shortcomings, trying to make Simon Lockwood give up.
’She had thought it over and over. A man with Simon Lockwood’s personality wouldn’t fall in love at first sight just because of a pretty face.’
’That left only one possibility: Simon Lockwood had known of her for a long time. Perhaps from her TV dramas, perhaps from variety shows. Joanna Kennedy never doubted her own fame, so that would explain everything.’
’This kind of situation wasn’t exactly rare. Fans inevitably invest a lot of energy into following their idols. When they invest too much, they can delude themselves into thinking they’ve actually fallen in love.’
’In reality, it was just the sunk cost fallacy at play.’
When Joanna Kennedy finished, the car fell into a deep silence. After what felt like a long time, the man finally spoke slowly, "It’s not..."
"Not what?" Joanna Kennedy pressed immediately, enunciating each word. "Simon Lockwood, not what?"
’Not because of my looks? Or is it that he doesn’t like me after all?’
"...It’s not a fan’s affection for an idol."
Seeing the stunned look on her face, Simon Lockwood’s voice was slow and clear. "I like you, Joanna Kennedy. The way a man likes a woman."
It was the kind of affection that came with possessiveness and a desire for control, but also the kind that demanded self-restraint and discipline.
Simon Lockwood laid his feelings bare, leaving Joanna Kennedy no room to escape.
A pebble dropped into the long-still lake of her heart, sending out ripples, one after another, threatening to one day pull Joanna Kennedy completely under.
Gazing into his earnest, focused dark eyes, Joanna Kennedy saw her own reflection: stunned and incredulous.
And her heart fluttered.
"Joanna Kennedy, you don’t have to give me an answer right away." Simon Lockwood’s fingers unconsciously fiddled with the hearing aid by his ear, as if the motion could somehow conceal it.
He lowered his gaze, his voice soft. "Let me pursue you, okay? If you find it annoying or troubling, I can..."
Simon Lockwood’s voice was strained, as if he couldn’t bring himself to say the words. He opened his mouth, then clamped it shut.
Her eyes started to sting. Joanna Kennedy blinked, regaining her composure as if her momentary lapse had never occurred.
"You can what?" Joanna Kennedy asked, staring out at the empty parking lot. "If I find it troubling, can you stop your pursuit? Can you stop bothering me?"
’Stop bothering her? Lose any chance to get close to her? And then, someday, be forced to watch as she ends up with another man? Perhaps some actor she’d worked with, or maybe that man who drove her home.’
’The mere thought of it made Simon Lockwood want to drive away every man who got near her, then lock Joanna Kennedy up in a place where she would only have him. Stockholm syndrome worked on most people. If he just had enough time, she would never be able to leave him.’
Simon Lockwood’s Adam’s apple bobbed slowly. He stopped hiding his vile, burgeoning possessiveness. "I can’t..."
"So, you’re forcing me?" Joanna Kennedy cut straight to the heart of the matter. "I don’t have the right to refuse, is that it?"
Silence. Perhaps a long time passed, or perhaps only a few seconds. Simon Lockwood didn’t answer, simply repeating, "Joanna Kennedy, let me pursue you. Please?"
His "Please?" was uttered with such humility and caution, yet it left no room for refusal. Joanna Kennedy laughed in exasperation. "No."
"Simon Lockwood, you don’t respect me at all." Joanna Kennedy’s expression grew cold. "You’re pursuing me on the premise that I have to end up with you."
"I may have never been in a relationship, but even I know that what you’re doing is wrong," Joanna Kennedy said.
She was being completely serious, but Simon Lockwood froze. It wasn’t clear what part he’d focused on, but his lowered eyelids snapped open, and his voice came out urgent and tight. "You’ve never been in a relationship?"
"Not even once?"
Simon Lockwood’s eyes were filled with a mixture of tension and hope. The stubborn, wounded pride from moments before had completely vanished.
Joanna Kennedy was speechless. ’Is that the important part?’
The mood was thoroughly shattered. Joanna Kennedy’s face went blank. Deciding to just throw caution to the wind, she said, "I was kidding. I’ve dated people. Lots of them. I’ve dated every type of guy imaginable. I’ve had more boyfriends than you’ve even seen men—"
Her mouth was suddenly covered. Simon Lockwood’s tense voice sounded next to her ear. "Don’t say things like that..."
The man’s palm was familiarly warm, covering her mouth with a pressure that was neither too light nor too heavy. Joanna Kennedy’s mind went blank with a low hum. She couldn’t make out what Simon Lockwood was saying as scattered fragments of images flashed before her eyes.
It seemed there was someone else who had often done the same.
This time, the fog in her mind’s eye was thinner. She could vaguely see the beautifully shaped lips of the man in the image opening and closing, superimposing themselves over the lips of the man speaking to her at this very moment.
..................
Joanna Kennedy’s lips parted unconsciously, the soft flesh brushing against the man’s warm, dry hand. Her moist breath created an intimate heat against his skin.
Simon Lockwood’s breath hitched. Before his rational mind could process it, he subconsciously pressed his palm down, holding it firmly against her lips.
Seeing her wide eyes, he snapped out of it as if waking from a dream. He quickly retracted his hand, his lowered gaze hiding the intense desire that was threatening to spill from his eyes. His voice was a whisper. "Sorry..."
In just a few short seconds, the dangerous, aggressive wolf had transformed into a gentle, harmless lamb. The contrast was so stark that Joanna Kennedy almost couldn’t react.
She stared, wide-eyed. A warmth seemed to linger on her lips, a trace of some unspoken, ambiguous intimacy.
Joanna Kennedy angrily wiped her lips. Forgetting everything else, she grabbed the door handle to get out. When it didn’t budge, she snapped in frustration, "Open the door!"