Chapter 233 - 232
After dinner, Simon Lockwood went to take a shower. Joanna Kennedy returned to her room, intending to continue trying on clothes, when she caught a glimpse of an open door not far away.
That was the guest room where Heidi Kim had been sleeping. Because she had left in a hurry, the door was still wide open, giving the space a desolate air.
Joanna walked over to close the door. As she was about to leave, she suddenly noticed a wooden staircase to the side, one she had never seen before.
Following the wooden staircase with her eyes, she saw what looked like an attic room. Its dark, tightly shut door was like Pandora’s box, tempting her to open it.
Joanna hesitated for a moment but couldn’t resist. She walked up the stairs. Surprisingly, the attic door wasn’t locked; it opened with a gentle push.
It was completely dark inside. Joanna’s gaze was instinctively drawn to the only source of light. A long, rectangular sandalwood table took up most of the room, and moonlight streamed in through a clear glass window.
In the faint moonlight, on the black sandalwood table, a vibrant rose under a transparent glass dome seemed to glow softly. Next to the rose lay a rectangular certificate of honor.
Perhaps because it was old, its corners and edges were slightly worn.
Joanna picked it up with a trembling hand and slowly opened it. The clear, black font came into view, but she could no longer see it properly. Her vision had blurred.
Physics Competition... First Place...
Memories came flooding back like a tide, overwhelming her when she least expected it.
Beneath the parasol tree, at the school gate, she had said casually, "Simon, bring back a first-place prize."
The boy, still boyish yet already showing signs of maturity, had looked at her with gentle eyes and nodded seriously. "Okay."
A casual remark she had never given a second thought had spanned seven long years, only to be presented before her now. It felt like a belated death by a thousand cuts, leaving her utterly shattered...
Tears streamed uncontrollably from her eyes, dripping onto the glass dome. Joanna instinctively wiped them away, and in doing so, she must have touched something. The surrounding lights suddenly switched on, illuminating the countless picture frames hanging on the walls...
Joanna stared, stunned. Her mind went completely blank.
So many of them, every single one... was of her. There were moments she herself had forgotten, yet here they were...
’Why am I so sad?’
Joanna slowly clutched her chest. Her heart felt as if it were being squeezed tightly by a giant hand, then released, leaving a dull, sour ache. She quietly asked herself, ’Why am I so sad?’
’Didn’t Simon and I only get a chance to get back together after we reunited? So where did all these photos come from?’
’So, no matter whether I had tried or not, was Simon always going to come back to me?’
She had smugly believed their happy ending was the result of a lingering old love, a mutual refusal to give up. But it was just that Simon had walked 100 steps toward her, while she had merely not stepped back...
A sound came from the attic’s wooden stairs, followed by a man’s rapid breathing. When he saw the scene before him, his breath caught.
Joanna didn’t turn around. She slowly sank to the floor, burying her face in her knees.
In the quiet space, only the sound of a girl’s desperately suppressed sobs could be heard. Simon walked over slowly. Watching her trembling form, his Adam’s apple bobbed. His voice was tense. "I’m sorry. I—I didn’t mean to hire someone to secretly take pictures of you."
The man’s voice was clearly at a loss. If you listened closely, you could hear it trembling as he explained, "I wasn’t in a good state of mind back then. I just hadn’t seen you in a long time, that’s why I did it. I’m sorry..."
"Joanna, I really didn’t... mean to..."
The man kept apologizing, his words rambling and incoherent, completely devoid of his usual calm composure.
Joanna clutched the fabric over her chest, as if that was the only way to ease the spasming pain. Her throat felt like it was blocked by a sponge, and she couldn’t utter a single word.
’Why is he apologizing?! Why is he apologizing to *me*?!’
Her tears soaked the cotton fabric of her pants at the knees. Joanna gasped for air, trying to relieve the growing tightness in her chest.
Her abnormally ragged breathing made Simon’s face turn pale. He dropped to one knee, reaching out with a trembling hand, only to pull it back. "What’s wrong? Where does it hurt? Can you lift your head and let me see, please?"
"Joanna, listen to me, lift your head—"
"Simon." Joanna finally managed to speak, her voice thick with tears. "I... I think I’m going to die..."
’The pain is killing me. My heart hurts so, so much. It hurts so badly that I feel like I must have a terrible illness to be this miserable...’
The girl was trembling, crying that she was going to die. Simon’s face went white in an instant. An unprecedented panic seized him, and he said in a choked voice, "...Don’t... don’t say that..."
He reached for her with shaking hands, trying to comfort her. "Don’t be scared. We’ll go to the hospital. We’ll go to the hospital..."
The moment he touched her, she threw her arms around him and held on tight, her warm tears soaking his shoulder. Simon froze. Thinking Joanna was scared, he continued to soothe her. "Okay, let go first. I’ll take you to the hospital. It’ll stop hurting soon. It won’t hurt after we see a doctor..."
Joanna shook her head violently. The only thing she heard was Simon’s two words, "let go," and she clung to him even tighter, crying harder. "I won’t let go..."
Her reaction was too abnormal, and her grip was too tight. Simon started to get anxious. "Listen to me. We need to go to the hospital."
"I won’t!" Joanna’s eyes were swollen from crying, and her mind was a complete blur. She tried to burrow deeper into his arms, her voice dropping to a tearful whisper. "I won’t listen! I won’t listen to you!"
"Joanna..."
"Why... why can you not listen, but I have to..." Joanna choked out. "It’s not fair..."
"You said you didn’t like me anymore. You said you wouldn’t wait for me again. You said it, you really said it..."
"...Why don’t you keep your word? Simon, you’re... the one who doesn’t listen."
The award certificate, the preserved rose, the walls full of photos spanning all ages of her life, in different places, of a different her... Simon had never been absent.
If she hadn’t come in here today, she would have never discovered that someone loved her so steadfastly. And Simon... he had never intended to tell her...
"Simon, you are just..." Joanna’s voice was hoarse from crying, and she practically bit out the words. "I hate you so much..."
"..."
As the girl’s last words faded, the air fell silent, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Simon was completely frozen, the only sound in his ears the girl’s soft sobs.
’Books say that loving someone should feel like a world of spring blossoms and morning moons, a beautiful, vibrant garden. But why does it always make me feel so miserable?’
’Constant anxiety, panicked helplessness, a fear of loss, an unbearable heartache...’
"I... I did think about not waiting for you..." Simon said, at a complete loss. "Really, I thought about it..."