Chapter 75: If You Want Life To Go Smoothly...
The video continued playing.
Night had fallen.
Cynthia leaned back against the sofa and released a long breath.
Tiana had already fallen asleep in her crib.
Cynthia lowered her gaze to her daughter’s sleeping face and gently brushed the loose strands of hair away from her forehead, revealing the natural golden highlights beneath them.
"...She’s so small," she whispered.
Asher poked his head out of the bedroom.
"What did you say?"
"I said she’s so small."
Cynthia gently poked Tiana’s cheek with one finger.
"She’s such a tiny little thing. How long will it take for her to grow up?"
"Once she does grow up, you’ll start asking why she grew so quickly."
Cynthia thought about it for a moment, then smiled.
"I suppose you’re right."
Asher emerged from the kitchen carrying two glasses of milk and handed one to her.
"So don’t rush. Let her grow at her own pace."
Cynthia accepted the milk and took a sip before suddenly remembering something.
"By the way, the League called this afternoon. They want me to attend next month’s meeting."
Asher raised an eyebrow.
"What did you tell them?"
"I said I was on maternity leave."
"Wasn’t your maternity leave supposed to have ended already?"
"...I requested another extension."
"You extended it again?"
Asher sat down beside her.
"You also took leave for the previous League meeting, and the meeting before that. Bertha even asked me last time whether you were planning to retire."
"I told her I was conducting important field research."
"What kind of field research?"
Cynthia raised her glass to her lips, hiding her expression behind it.
"...Tiana is my field."
[VIP Chat Group]
[Bertha]: Hehehe. So that’s how my parallel-world counterpart was being fooled.
[Bertha]: Cynthia has never been particularly good at lying, though. Whenever she requested leave, I always knew she had probably run off to investigate some ruins.
[Flint]: You saw through her excuses the entire time?! Then why did you approve every request?
[Bertha]: It was rather adorable watching her rack her brain for an excuse. Besides, nothing particularly important had been happening in the League recently.
[Aaron]: If you approved the leave request, who ended up doing her work?
[Bertha]: Hehehe. That wasn’t my responsibility. I was only responsible for approving the request.
[Lucian]: ...
[Iris]: The Sinnoh Elite Four spoil their Champion far too much!
[Steven]: @Wallace, look at how considerate they are!
[Wallace]: ??? How dare you say that? Every time you suddenly resigned, I was the one left cleaning up the mess!
The video continued playing.
Time moved forward once again.
Tiana was now old enough to run around everywhere.
The scene showed a spacious training ground located at one of the Sinnoh League’s training facilities.
Cynthia stood at the edge of the field holding a folder in her arms while speaking with one of the staff members beside her.
Tiana sat astride Garchomp’s neck, shouting, "Giddyup! Giddyup!"
Garchomp carried her steadily, jogging leisurely around the perimeter of the training ground.
On the opposite side of the field, Asher was speaking with Dragonite.
"Old buddy, I have something to ask you."
Asher stood with both hands in his pockets.
Dragonite lowered its head and looked at him.
"Dragonite~" (What are you asking me to do this time?)
"Stay at home and help me keep an eye on Tiana."
Dragonite glanced toward Tiana.
Garchomp had already lowered itself to the ground and was crawling around so that Tiana could experience riding a horse.
Upon seeing this, Dragonite released two streams of air from its nostrils.
"Dragonite?" (Boss, do I look like I know how to babysit?)
Asher smiled, removed a box from his pocket, and opened it just long enough for Dragonite to see what was inside before immediately closing it again.
Dragonite’s eyes widened for an instant.
"Dragonite?!" (A scale from Dialga?!)
"Are you doing it or not?"
Asher returned the box to his pocket.
"If you refuse, I’ll ask another dragon instead~"
Dragonite slammed its tail against the ground twice, released another pair of streams from its nostrils, and then marched toward Tiana with determined steps.
It crouched down and extended one claw toward her.
Tiana poked her head out from behind Garchomp’s back. The moment she saw the tip of Dragonite’s claw, she reached out with both hands and hugged it.
The tip of Dragonite’s tail gently tapped against the ground.
[Regular-Seat Chat Group]
"Dragonite: I’ll babysit, but you’ll have to pay me extra."
"This Dragonite is so materialistic! Hahahaha! I love it!"
"Asher’s Dragonite never accepts a deal that puts it at a disadvantage."
"Garchomp babysits for free. Dragonite charges a fee."
"How can two Pokémon be so different?"
"Garchomp: Because I love this family. Dragonite: I love this family’s overtime pay."
"That’s enough from you! Hahahahaha!"
[VIP Chat Group]
[Barry]: Wait, do all of you enjoy making your Pokémon babysit?
[Gary]: You’ve completely missed the point. Asher is obviously making preparations in advance again.
[Barry]: What do you mean?
[Gary]: Tiana possesses Dragon Force. Naturally, it will benefit her to interact with more Dragon-type Pokémon while she’s young.
[Gary]: Besides, I don’t even need to think about it. Tiana’s future Dragonite and Garchomp will definitely be offspring from these two.
[Lance]: Gary is correct. Dragon Force can only awaken fully after prolonged contact with Dragon-type Pokémon. Asher has been planning for her future from the very beginning.
[Wallace]: Even so, I still can’t understand what the parallel-world Asher is ultimately trying to accomplish...
[Steven]: Naturally, you wouldn’t understand. How could ordinary mortals like you comprehend Brother Asher’s profound foresight?
[Asher]: Steven, no one will mistake you for a mute if you stop talking.
The video continued.
Inside the cozy living room, Asher handed the prepared baby bottle to Cynthia.
"You feed her."
Cynthia accepted the bottle and adjusted the way she was holding Tiana.
Tiana closed her mouth around the nipple and held the bottle with both tiny hands, her golden and purple eyes staring intently at Cynthia’s face.
Cynthia looked down at her daughter, the corners of her lips curving upward slightly.
Asher leaned against the arm of the sofa and watched them. Then he reached out and tucked the blond hair hanging beside Cynthia’s cheek behind her ear.
Cynthia looked up at him, and the tips of her ears turned visibly red.
"What are you doing?"
"Your hair was getting in your eyes."
[VIP Chat Group]
[Diantha]: I can’t take this anymore. This man is far too good at flirting.
[Elesa]: Asher’s flirting skills are exceptional. Cynthia is completely wrapped around his finger.
[Steven]: Why would Brother Asher ever need to flirt deliberately? Even his most casual gesture is worthy of being included in a textbook.
[Brock]: Is this what natural talent looks like? Damn it, I’m so jealous!
[Iris]: Um... I feel a little guilty saying this in front of Misty, but Asher and Cynthia look incredibly compatible too~
[Bianca]: So I’m not the only one! I think the two of them make such a wonderful couple~ (✧ω✧)→
[Misty]: ???
Misty]: Wait, why are all of you making me feel like I’m wearing a green hat?!
[Elesa]: If you want life to go smoothly...
[Valerie]: You need a little green on your head!
[Misty]: ???
[Misty]: Just try coming to Cerulean City! You’ll regret it!!!
...
TL: In case someone doesn’t know, the "green hat" meme comes from an idiom— wearing a green hat means your partner has been unfaithful. Online, it’s used to imply someone is being cheated on or made a fool of in a relationship (basically, a cuckold).
Here they are joking and twisting the meme, so instead of "green = cheated/bad luck," they’re jokingly treating it like "green = good luck/smooth life." as green also a symbol of good luck.
Personally, I don’t really find it that funny. I prefer third-wheel jokes, honestly since its more lighthearted. I even came up with a alternative for the joke but didn’t actually replace it, since I’ve already changed a bit from the original source as it is besides its not even that good of an alternative.
PS: Don’t worry, things I removed or changed are all for a better reading experience. I’m sure most of you don’t want to see certain "lines" or "sayings" anyways.
In case you guys are curious I wanted to change it to:
[Misty]: Wait, why are you all turning me into the third wheel in my own relationship?!
[Elesa]: Every smooth ride needs proper balance...
[Valerie]: And apparently, three wheels!