Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu (WN)

――――

I can't perceive the moment my consciousness returns.

Tinnitus as heavy rain continues to fall in the ears, vision repeats brightness alternating between red and white, the world leaning distorted and unpleasantly.

It doesn't convey the feeling of limbs, and it's stuck up a scream so thick that my throat can't think of the pain that my guts can squeeze up.

I twirl my body that doesn't listen, make it jump, and use all the moving parts of my whole body to convert the unknown passion that comes up into my chest into destruction.

I don't know what it is.

Where did the pain go? How can you not be sure of consciousness? Where were those wounds that invaded your whole body? Blood is losing, life is losing, I'm dying.

I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die.

I don't like pain, hard, painful, sad, or afraid of anything.

I want to keep everything away, but that's the only position I can find. So leave it to the impulse, to allowance or gradually slap those negative emotions, crush them, tear them apart, throw them aside, break them down and try to protect their own minds.

――――

I hear something. I can hear someone.

I can hear someone screaming desperately in a beastly roar.

It doesn't make sense. I don't know what that means. I don't want to know what that means.

It's useless from what I've heard. It just hurts me to ask. Something doesn't change from what I hear. Listening doesn't change anything.

Still gradually, gradually, the colours of the world become clearer.

Blood passes at the tip of the hands and feet, and the general sensation of shaking correctly transmits to the nerves.

Did the rammed arm hit something hard many times, broken nails, torn back of his hand, and seemed to be bleeding badly.

The sharp pain pierces the brain and the crying only slightly loosens momentum.

And notice. Painful arms, clinging around those two arms to the right so that something warm envelops them.

Similar sensations were found on the legs. Something small from directly above is covering his legs and sealing his movements, shaking up to hit the floor over and over again.

Color returns to sight. In front of me, it's a white ceiling I remember seeing several times.

I find myself sleeping on my back because of the blood circle and the weight on my back. The soft feeling belonged to the bedroom, throwing out limbs and sleeping.

And I was putting my hands and feet up and controlling myself rampaging in that position because

"Customers, customers. Have you calmed down yet?

"Customers, customers. Are we done totally tochi 'mad?

The moment two familiar voices struck his earlobes, Subaru's brain stopped thinking and only one, he was choosing to scream.

The first morning of Roswar Mansion, the fourth total for Subaru, opened the curtain in the worst way ever.

Already six times, Subaru has returned from losing his life in this world.

None of the ways I died were ever easy, and each time I've tasted the agony of spilling what I got out of my hands again.

I'm never used to pain or suffering, and the feeling of loneliness and loss that rolls up every time I go back is not something anyone can share.

Still eating up even his teeth, Subaru intends to have lived diligently forward. I have been determined to give in only to my knees and to lose only my temper.

However, this case is not comparable to the previous one.

Loss, loneliness, pain and suffering all deeply and sharply determined Subaru's heart only for the minutes of his previous daily bonds.

There's no way I can stand. I don't even know the strength to stand. I can't even think of a reason why I have to stand. That's the situation.

"- Yes, I'm done. Wounds, they must have been blocked, but you shouldn't be too violent. Call me in case you bleed again."

Subaru's right hand, gently stroking its back, the girl sitting on the chair beside her bedside laughs so.

It is Emilia who binds silver hair together and brings a pale blue light to her palm.

Shortly after I woke up, she was healing me with healing magic, rushing Subaru, who had been rammed and lacerated in the hand.

There are two of us in the room, Subaru and Emilia.

The other two, who were there at the moment of awakening, bowed their heads and disappeared before the ugliness of Subaru shortly after they realized themselves.

"I asked Ram and Rem, but it's terrible for both of us... did I say that?

They give me a name I don't want to hear, and Subaru looks up like he's been played.

Emilia opened her eyes slightly to that overreaction, but admitting the look of upset running Subaru pointed at her lips,

"Because I was unusually depressed that I might have done something rude. Next time you see him, give him a shout."

"Something rude, huh? No, I didn't have any.... there was nothing between me and those two."

Somewhere the throwing voice is plundering, and Emilia's well-shaped eyebrows softly creep into the aftermath of the evil emotions put in it.

With that in his eyes, no apology or comfort comes out of Subaru's mouth.

Instead, he came out with his mouth open, an ironic question.

"Hey, Emilia, you don't think... about me, I'm in the way?

"Tan, you..."

Emilia shows rejection like every time for a moment in the way she calls it, but Svalbard's attitude of making inquiries hasn't lost any seriousness in itself for a moment.

She often silenced, "Nothing," she prefaced, then stood her finger,

"I can't believe I'm in the way. And Subaru is a benefactor to my life? I don't owe that to my benefactor, and if he's gone on his own, my dreams aren't bad. So I'm going to have trouble staying until I repay my gratitude."

Speaking quickly, Emilia runs out to delude her emotions.

Subaru watched her every move, listening to it jizzily. Is there any falsehood there or does it contain reactions, tricks, that hide something?

"Dude, are you serious..."

That's how she realizes herself wanting her reaction with the look of suspicion, and Subaru mutters without being able to hide her disappointment and disappointment in herself.

Without trying, didn't Emilia just say so now? If it doesn't even seem like a benefactor anymore, it's already a shitty thing to do.

Emilia should have been an oasis for Subaru to be able to keep her heart at any time in this unreliable otherworlds.

The possibilities that should have seemed that way, even if not as good as hers, have now disappeared in a merciless way from before Subaru.

that if you even lose absolute trust in her to get here, it's nothing more than walking by hand through the dark in the dark for Subaru.

Second, I had the thought of blurring the back of my brain.

If only we could reveal to her the situation that has repeatedly and repeatedly challenged the despair that occupies this breast.

Subaru has so far been scratching his feet trying to do something with his own hands about all the lethal crises he has visited more than once.

However, things have become extremely difficult, and we have already reached a point where we will not allow Subaru to make cheap choices.

Then is it possible to reveal things to a third party - a trusted person, and begging for help is the best way to hit them?

As if the fog were clear, emotions such as anxiety and confusion that were standing in Subaru's head are scattered.

Once I realized it, it was so obviously a convincing means that I didn't know why I had previously removed that option from my candidacy.

- Emilia, there's something you need to hear.

Dropping his voice, Subaru turns to Emilia.

I guess I sensed the atmosphere had changed. Emilia also corrected her residence sitting in a chair and looked directly at this one when she put tension on its grieving face.

Seeing himself reflected in his purple blue eyes, Subaru slowly begins by choosing the first word.

What should we talk about? About "Back to Death". Or should we speak naked from the point of view that Subaru is not the existence of this world in the first place?

It's a story that's going to come with a smile, and the formula for being taken for a joke is much higher. Still, wouldn't she be the only one to obstruct Subaru's serious appeal?

Such expectations, hope, underpinned the present Subaru.

- Let's talk from "Back to Death". And if you can, I need your help.

Shamed by his shallowness in seeking it again from his grateful opponent, Subaru makes his first voice with breath. Things move out of there.

Extremely confused, I have to throw a spoon if I can't help it. That's where the light opens up to the situation that I was about to give up.

- Yes, I thought so.

――――

To put it into words, to make a voice, the moment I thought so, it came.

discomfort, getting it Subaru hesitates to say the first word in confusion.

Something was wrong, I thought, and I immediately realized why. Sound. The sound disappeared. From the world, the sound had disappeared on the pretext. I heard it earlier on, my beat that rang. Emilia's slight breath on the front. The colour of silence with a cool morning breeze through the room, sneaking in through a slightly open window.

All of that had completely disappeared from the world.

A world without sound, it's an isolated space where even words like silence are raw. Absolutely silent with no questions asked, not even scratching out the sound of tinnitus and not even hearing the sound of blood flowing through your body.

Just because they did, chills rush all over his body, and his embarrassing discomfort rumbles around scratching his guts.

And that was just the beginning of the anomaly.

- What?

From a world where the sound disappeared, the next movement of all beings disappeared.

Time is extended, the moment becomes eternal, and a second later changes the point of reaching far beyond time dramatically.

In front of her eyes, Emilia's expression doesn't move with a serious face. The eyelids do not move tightly and the lips remain firmly pulled together.

Emilia can keep the next move away forever, remaining in a position of Rin. And that's the same with Subaru again, and the length of thought that was supposed to be spoken of will never be delivered to someone permanently if it stays that way.

The sound disappears, time stops, and Subaru's memorial is kept away.

A phenomenon that transcends the understanding that came to the pretend. Nervous bodies can't move shards either, and Subaru just keeps running his thoughts with confusion.

Understand not, understand not. Understand not, understand not. I don't understand...

What made this happen? I don't even have the mental leeway to speculate on that.

However, to the incomprehensible realm that comes to tatami, Subaru can only continue to scream his moans in his brain to be beaten down.

And the end of that feeling suddenly appeared.

- What?

A voice of suspicion floats in the back of his brain and Subaru is an action that tilts his neck just by image.

At the end of his gaze, in a fixed, immobile vision, I could only imagine that it had occurred on the pretense.

It's black. For Subaru, who does not even have the freedom to blink, its emergence could only be described as abrupt in the true sense.

He tried to break into consciousness, and he was drifting on the spot.

But what was even more peculiar was that only that black one slowly changed its shape.

In a world where everything has stagnated, only black pigeons change shape at a slow rate. To the extent that it can be held over both hands, such a mass of wax makes its contours slightly clearer, and it takes more than a dozen seconds to finally reach the desired shape in body time.

- That looked like a black palm to Subaru.

The shape-changing beard was taking the shape of his arm.

A floating black arm with five fingers and only an earlier length of the elbow.

And when Sole trembles his fingertips to be sure, he approaches Subaru with a clear will.

Without the art of exchange, he dropped it off, and Subaru breathed unintentionally with only his senses.

Black fingertips sneak into Subaru's chest as if there was nothing to block them from. And Svalbard clearly conveyed the feeling that his fingertips stroked his guts.

Touching the inner core, stroking the ribs, the palm moves further back and eventually delivers its fingertips to the most important organ in the human body.

- Hey, wait.

A voice without a voice. An irreversible body. Fear rushes through Subaru's entire body without being able to hang around and know nothing about the thoughts of his black palms.

- I mean it, it's gonna be a shame.

Before I could say it all in my chest, the shock rocked Subaru's existence from the ground up.

Can anyone explain why it hurts to be hurt in the gut? The answer to that is simple, you don't need to think about that, just a word of it.

At that moment, the severe pain that struck Subaru has no shards such as the need to justify it.

Just as simple, the pain of crushing my heart relentlessly kept beating Subaru.

I can't raise my voice. I am even forbidden to tremble in pain.

Who else would know the pain of not having the means to mislead the pain and just feeling the pain, putting the subaru of this moment aside?

Only the pain was there. And it took something that was not just painful, and left such a thankless warning against Subaru.

The presence of Subaru was torn apart by the pain, distorted as the consciousness was handled in a mess, and the thought was cut to bits so much that I couldn't even remember its original form -.

- Subaru?

"- Ah?"

"Subaru, are you okay? Shut up and worry."

He laid his hand on this knee and stared at Subaru with his eyes where his silver beauty dwelt in worry.

At the moment of consciousness of it, Subaru leaks a long breath that can fall out. Then he made sure his fingers were moving as he wished, and touched his chest late, making sure from the outside that his heart was carving a quiet beat.

The body moves. I also have a voice. I don't even feel pain in my heart.

But the fear was engraved.

My fingertips trembled, my voice refused to go outside, and my body remained shuddered and small.

Only for the amount of hope that had arisen, the facts brought about by Sole despaired Subaru.

Again, in an attempt to squeeze courage and challenge Sole, yes, I just thought in a corner of my head, and I get the illusion that a black pocket passes over the end of Subaru's eye.

And Subaru finally has to admit it.

To the despair that engulfs, to cover his face with his palms so as to succumb to it, and to Subaru, who becomes smaller on the sleeping table, Emilia opened her mouth in bewilderment,

"Duh, what's wrong? Are you sure this is weird? If there's anything..."

- I need a favor.

Blocking the voice leading this way, Subaru turns his hand to her.

I can't raise my face. I'm sure he looks terrible. If you look at her in such a mental state, you can't trust yourself with what you mouth run.

Mobilizing total self-control, Subaru creates just one word.

Throw out the words you were going to say, the feelings you wanted me to hear, the passion you sincerely hoped to reveal, and everything.

"Emilia Tan"

"Ugh, yeah. Say anything."

Don't worry about me.

I tell her that without force, and she falls into bed without even seeing how she reacts.

Unconsciously, the palm touches the chest, feeling the beat beneath it over the thin skin, while Subaru is clearly aware of the pressed reality.

- To reveal is unacceptable.

- Subaru has no choice but to keep scratching his feet alone.