Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu (WN)

- flesh is formed.

Thousands of chopped meats, peeled skins, chewed bones, chewed nerves, licked and sickled blood, a soul trampled by an abominable appetite - returning to its original form.

Sensation passes at your fingertips, and the whole body of Subaru bounces like cramps at its starting point.

He was bored over the dusty, cold, hard ground, and white bubbles were spewing out from the edge of Subaru's mouth, where groans leaked.

Pain, no. Loss, no. The limbs follow the torso, with no physical damage whatsoever to the head recognizing it or to its contents. Thoughts are asleep and in obscurity, but that's also the promised uncertainty that clears up in just a few seconds.

Nevertheless, Subaru's flesh, consciousness, does not let it regress into the realm of return. Not so long ago, what happened before I came back was only tragic.

Who has ever had an experience of getting into your body from your mouth and eating all of your intestines? The feeling of your whole body being peeled off to compete, and your exposed red and black muscles beneath it, your rough tongue ripping off peachy fat.

My brain refused to feel pain. It was a nightmare to wake up and see, objectively recognizable of the reality of being 'eaten', like my body but about someone else's.

"Bu, bu, bu..."

The vomiting sensation creeps up, but the only thing that comes up from a dry stomach is yellowish gastric juice. Sour gathers in the foam that erupts, and Subaru continues to cramp as he is overthrown.

It is not Subaru's will, but his soul's choice, to reject reality, as he did with some seizure, or as a fish launched ashore.

Who can tolerate being devoured of existence? Who can blame the modulation of Subaru who has thus returned, understanding the facts eaten?

What cause, whose plot, did I have to see like this?

――――

Consciousness is oblivious.

Whether you have eyes open or not, control of your own body is not coming back.

My soul refuses to live in reality. Instead of letting consciousness choose its options, the soul does not even allow Subaru to stand before its choices.

However, Subaru's body keeps drowning in despair, as it forces him to tremble on 'lost facts'.

- Why?

If a definite word existed in Subaru's brain, it was just one thing.

- Why?

What happened? What happened? How did it happen? How could it have been the only way? What is happening to me now? What must happen to me now? What should I do now?

- Why, why, why, why, why.

In front of unanswered, even uncertain propositions, the soul screams even.

- Why? Why not?

And he keeps throwing even unanswered questions, unusual and bad giving up.

Drowned in reality, tormented by nightmares, losing sight of the way to live and asking 'why'.

That's what...

"Again, you've earned your credentials"

It was a whispering voice in his ear against Subaru trembling in small pieces.

High, bouncing voice. Even if it sounds like Subaru right now, it doesn't even chew the meaning out of it. But that's terrible, with a voice that also resonates inside Subaru nowadays...

"Let's Invite - To The Witch's Tea Party"

At the next moment, Subaru's consciousness, which had just returned, again lost its sense of reality.

There was a refreshing breeze reminiscent of summer in the small, tall hills of green grass.

Cool winds rock Subaru's forehead and tall grass greenery greatly, through the hills, past the meadows, and rush across the dancing blue sky of white clouds.

Touching the invisible and tickled forehead lightly with his fingertips, Subaru narrowed his eyes to the glare of the sun, then slowly lowered his gaze and looked forward.

A rocking seat, like an euthanasia chair, that is seated at some point. Pinching a small white table between them and sitting in a similar chair opposite this one and putting your feet together is a girl who colors her hair and all of her exposed skin in white and dresses in mourning that overshadows that impression - no, maybe that's not the right way to call it.

"Whatever, you've been a frivolous witch for over four hundred years..."

"Get the girl, isn't this a lot of talk again? In my case, I'm like 19 years old, so I'm supposed to look like a young girl who looks good with you."

"Nineteen years old is plain heavy. And I don't know. Rate it. You're not creeping next to me. You look good with me, you laugh with your nose and your navel boils tea."

"Oh, this is... has it been shaken?

"It's tiny. I said I quoted you cheap. I feel like I'm the bastard at the bottom. You know, it's good for you, it's good for you, it's good for you. I'm not asking them to come down, I'm going up and get it. I don't have anything I deserve yet."

Fists open and close on his knees and Subaru spills so as he looks up into the sky with a bitter face.

The witch who heard it - Echidna cheeked on the white table, watching carefully from top to bottom as she observed Subaru.

"Sounds a lot underrated."

"When I'm big around me, I get the habit of talking with nature and my neck turned up. I didn't even realize I was looking up, so I thought I'd graduated."

Looking back at himself so far, Subaru grips the fist that was open.

fist bones with a grip, and once, breathe deeply, then

"So... what kind of blow is this tea party invitation?

"It's not hard. I am the 'Witch of Greed' and that is also the righteousness of knowledge. The heart you seek and desire is pleasant to me, and it's best if it's a desire to know, a mourning to ask why."

Saying, she carries a white cup on the table to her mouth.

I swallowed the contents of the cup as I rang my throat, smiling softly.

"If I may say so, I hope you understand that in my castle, where it is easy to get through, there is cause for your own actions."

"Don't be such a jerk.... Well, for now, I'm not going to say anything about what you called me to the Tea Party. More than that, I want to ask you something."

Waving to truncate Echidna's much-worded words, Subaru rides himself forward. white beauty in front of you, then staring away from you,

"What happened to me?

"You know that for yourself, don't you?

"Understanding and convincing is another different story. I mean, I know what it was like to be objective, but I can't relate that understanding to my current condition."

"What do you mean?

"I was crazy, drowning and bubbling on land, and I was dressed properly in this place, at least to the point where we could have a conversation. I don't know, it's more natural to think you have your hands in you."

Subaru's head was spinning in full to understand the current situation as he exchanged a light-hearted conversation.

Thus, the fact that Echidna's dream world, which she calls the Tea Party, invites her to at least have enough room in her mind to put her head around them.

I know now because I'm getting room to calm down and circle my thoughts, the dangerous state of Subaru's body in the real world before entering the world of dreams. It's not like I can't leave the flesh that was suffering from a kind of shock symptom and be anxious to be here just for the spirit.

"Last time I attended your tea party, I woke up on the bed, so I don't know, but what happens to the elapsed time? No, the outside world in the first place..."

Thinking that far, Subaru comes to the conclusion that it is not if he is calm and drinking tea in a place like this.

- Svalbard, who was just cramped with shock symptoms, has not been able to confirm the time when he came back from doing 'Back to Death'.

On the contrary, it's the end of the day I haven't even been able to confirm where that bubble was blowing.

Subaru stood up to kick his chair as he was burned by too late regret,

"Echidna! Get me out of here now!

"It's horrible that we should leave without a mouthful of tea at a witch's tea party. You should take your time to figure out what I am like in front of you."

"I can't afford to keep up with your story! Now, get me out of here! Outside while I'm doing this..."

"That's how you failed to hold anything, but you're going to walk out of here again with your bare hands... repeating the same pain and sense of loss?

Subaru was uncontrollably distracted and absurd his voice to a long echidna. Echidna has asked that in the frozen voice of her emotions so that she can bathe that consciousness as if it were cold water.

"......"

"I praise the act of challenging people to get results. Because I think there is beauty in the process of trial and error to produce results, whether they are desired or not. It feels honorable and noble to me not to lose my mind trying like that. But..."

fingers on the mumbling Subaru, and Echidna narrowed her eyes,

"You don't care about the results of the last time, you go down the same path to the same conclusion… you want to separate yourself with contempt for such a blasphemous accumulation of knowledge from what you do"

"You... ha"

"By the way, in answer to your question... the time outside is now just after you have survived the first 'trial' of the cemetery. Fortunately, time passes differently here and outside. You won't be left in that much time after you've had tea with me here."

What Subaru wanted to know and Echidna crushing the material of concern one by one.

If you believe her words, the time outside will be right after the first 'trial' - meaning that there will be no change at the 'Back to Death' list-point.

Subaru's flesh, left behind at the Tea Party, would be among the "trials" of the cemetery and still be thrown aside beside Emilia fighting the "trials".

I don't pepper her statement, but not least I was informed of that fact by a third party. It watered Subaru's impatience with calm.

If that's how your mind can feel at ease and afford it, the next question that comes up is -

"Echidna...... how far do you know?

"If you know, do as much as I know. If you want to know, you want to know everything in the world."

"Don't tear it up, it's important. For example... yes, you said it was just after the first trial."

The first 'trial' - sounds a lot farther now even that.

Ekidna welcomed Subaru, who ended her breakup with her parents in a dream world, in an unmanned school building. After a short questioning with her, Subaru has regressed to reality.

Then, by the time we settle into the present situation, there are so many different circumstances that we can't speak up in words -.

"If I look away, my reunion with you will be over..."

"Right. Sure, the actual time, even the uneven physical time, is short between me and you. In just a few minutes, we'll have another face-to-face calculation."

Echidna laughs as she jokes about how much she misses me. She shamelessly shrugs her shoulders to Subaru, who receives that light mouth without expression.

"Thank you, you're not very responsive to my request. It seems regrettable that you don't get what you want, and I'm glad it feels complicated."

"As for your complicated maiden mind, I'm going to go out with you slowly, even when I have time. More than that..."

"I think my mouth slips better when I'm willing to celebrate an early reunion. Well, can't you help feeling out of the way like that? Because."

So for once, Echidna cut the words.

Short blanks of breath, in the meantime she sees Subaru with a stream of black eyes. For a moment, I couldn't read what the emotions that I had spent those eyes were to Subaru today.

However, echidna smiled as she welcomed the temptation of that Subaru,

"Unlike me, which was just a few minutes apart, from you, hours, no, days left blank for a reunion - because that's what happens."

Repeating Echidna's statement in his head, Subaru chewed up and understood that its meaning could only be received in one form.

If you look at the mouthpiece now, and the meaningful eye and smile, there can be no mistake in that perception either.

She... the witch knows. The souls of Subaru have piled up, the remnants of a missed future that should no longer be anywhere in this world.

"Why......!?

"Shall I answer that question? Because this is my castle, and I am the Witch of Greed. I don't think I've ever shown it to you."

In front of Subaru, who squeezes the question, Echidna, who tilts her neck, offers her right hand forward.

And when the light descended upon its palms, the light eventually took shape - producing there a book of pure white fittings.

A book the size of a dictionary, with no title or anything on it. Subaru has only unpleasant memories in its shape, except that its color is so white that it hurts his eyes.

"No way thats... in" The Gospel, "hey I guess"

"Oh, you don't have to rely on this book to tell me what you're thinking." You too, "I said. That's the face. It seems like you can guess how much you've been seeing outside..."

Reading the insides of Subaru from his face, Echidna gently opens the white book in her hand. And running his eyes inside, he nodded several times as he followed the letters, "Hmm,"

"Well, I guess I understand. There are parts of you that you can't get through, but you can make it up to me by reading yourself. [M]... Yeah, it's still good. The feeling of filling the missing piece this way, the feeling of expectation that we are approaching the answer is also unspeakable. It is with this that it makes sense to live after all......!

"... you must be dead by now."

Subaru barely sticks that way into Echidna's words with a fever, under barometric pressure. Echidna heard it, with a stubborn face as she fingered the tip of her white hair,

"That's how being watered shrivels your motivation, even if it's true. Whatever it is, I'll relieve you of your anxiety.... This book is different from the Gospel in your memory. It is not the future or the optimal solution that is written down. It's just a fact."

"Fact......?

"If the Gospel is spoken of in the curse of the prophecy, I wonder if this, which I have, should also be called a history book. It does not confirm its shape as a book, it is always ambiguous, ambiguous and vague, it is not a book of any kind, it is a book of any kind, it can be any book, it can be any book... it merely describes the facts on a blank page. This was called the Book of the Wisdom by humans in the world four hundred years ago. But here's what I call it."

――――

- Memories of the world. "

Big name - but it just has the power to be different.

If her words are true, the book can be read by any person, about any thing, anything if it is a history of the past that has already happened. In gathering information, I see it's mostly cheat ability.

"Most of all, I don't really like to rely on this. Anyway, it's a form in which what you see is burned directly into memory. Fly the process of" knowing "and rewrite it to" knowing "- for me wanting to know, the value of this book flying through the process of knowing is hard to judge."

"If you don't want it, you can drop by me. There is as much for use as there is. Rather, with it, the thread to solve the problem..."

"If you don't want to be an abolitionist, you should stop"

and when Echidna just truncates Subaru's suggestion in good shape, she offers the 'memory of the world' of that white outfit in front of Subaru's face,

"Even if it seems harmless, it's a witch's tool. Normal people burn their brains out because of the amount of information they can burn into their brains. It's easier not to read it."

"Then give this to me for a look, whoa!

Knowing that it was an unreachable type of opening, the angle to faint is also a steep angle.

Pushing back the Demon Book with his palms, Echidna waves it back and turns it into a particle of light. The point of not taking up bookshelf space and being convenient for storage, as a hindsight, Subaru gets convinced of her amount of knowledge.

With this magic book, I see. Surely 'what you don't know' can be reduced to the extreme. It may be the witch-specific way of thinking that I don't like to do it.

"But if you know you are, it's early. Hey, Echidna. You're going to kill me..."

"Back to Death," said Subaru's throat frozen on the sieve, trying to say so.

But that's not due to unquestioned penalties that I visit when I try to say contraindications.

In front of the freezing Subaru, Echidna just waits silently as she waves her white hair in the wind, waiting for this word.

The more I feel it is unwitchy, compassionate, the quicker the beat, the heavier and slower the tongue slips instead.

It is one primitive emotion - that is, fear - that froze Subaru's voice.

"Ha... ha..."

So many times now Subaru has had the opportunity to utter its contraindications.

The power of 'Back to Death', dwelling in Subaru.

It is difficult to even determine whether to call it power or not. It is obstructed by vigorous efforts to communicate the circumstances to others. It also hurts the heart directly, with irrationality and compulsion that can neither be resisted nor tolerated.

And once, that poison fang came down not only to Subaru's body, but also to Emilia, who tried to unravel everything. Subaru cannot forget the sense of loss and crying at that time.

There are a handful of people who thought that they wanted to die so bad that they wanted to disappear.

Never, the fact that I have accumulated so much regret and bitterness with my own stupidity. That's pitiful, regrettable - and still, the scared Subaru mind is afraid to step forward.

I'm not afraid of being able to hurt my heart. Of course, the pain is terrifying. But if that's the sacrifice you need to attract the future you want, stick your throat out and bear it.

What Subaru feared was that by mouthing that information on this occasion, it would take that black fingertip on someone who wasn't just Subaru.

No, Subaru shook his head sideways.

During the battle against the white whale, during the settlement with Petergius, both Subaru has spoken its contraindications in the intervening scenes of others.

When dragged into irrationality, its attempted opening is interrupted and its continuation is thrown beyond the stopped world of time. Therefore, I have never been questioned.

I've never sacrificed a black demon to anyone who wants to be ahead of a disappeared word.

- Except for Emilia.

――――

It lightens up in my arms, it brings back memories of a silver-haired girl.

If I were to taste that sense of loss again, that would be unbearable this time.

At that time, I don't think it was often crazy. I think it's something that killed Emilia, walked around holding that wreck, and didn't go crazy a lot.

So sinful. Not so much. Horrible.

So fear bound Subaru and made him hesitate to speak of it on this occasion.

In front of you is the witch Echidna. To be clear, it's a shallow relationship that even compares well with Emilia.

With her heart crushed, Subaru makes a terribly deliberate prediction that she won't taste as much despair or loss as she did at that moment.

Still, I can't move because Subaru is sweet, and at the same time the conditions are too different than before, which makes me more anxious about not being able to read the results.

The contraindication broke Subaru's heart when he could turn to an ignorant opponent for "Back to Death".

When I tried to unravel 'Back to Death' to a loved one, the contraindication crushed the heart of that loved one.

Then what happens if you reveal it to a being who has spotted Subaru's 'Back to Death' from another direction.

Does Subaru have to be the only one to suffer, or does the Demon Hand exist in front of you too -.

"You should try it, try it"

――――

"It is honorable to act in order to obtain the desired result. That doesn't change my mind. And I think it's worth living for that action."

I don't even know the result of Subaru's patrol, or that the damage might be directed at me - no, it isn't.

The witch is probably spotting Subaru's concerns.

And the witch herself knows that she can't see the result. Still, it should be noted that the only reason she can say it is because she truly believes in that belief, which she has made into these words.

"I regret it, I may not even have time...?

"When that happens, shall I expect you to cry down in front of my remains"

Echidna responds only with ease to Subaru's attitude of refusing to make a choice to the point of criticism.

I guess even that attitude is a consideration to keep the extra circumstances out of Subaru's decision.

That's not so much compassion for Subaru as the result of a decision - I guess it's her sincerity about it.

It's not expected or wished for.

Subaru is pushed back by the likelihood of her wanting the possibility of an answer.

A way of life where you have no doubt whatsoever about your raison d 'être and significance.

I know I can't live with that, but I feel like I've been saved by that strength.

"Echidna, I'm going back to death."

And speak contraindications -.

At that time, the world.