Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu (WN)

What can I call the shock that pierces Subaru's entire body the moment I hear that confession of love?

From the top of his head to the toenails of his feet, the illusion of lightning thrusting through struck Subaru.

The feeling of boiling blood in the blood vessels in the body to the poppy sensation of skin like an open pore all over the body. Zhu colour dyed the high chest beat from the neck to the top, leaking rough breath and Subaru lagging behind.

You can't be standing in this place like this.

Standing here, I get my breath. My fingertips arrive.

If reason doesn't open its distance within being able to push its instincts, it won't hold its teeth.

When that happens, at the end of the day, Subaru is pushed away by 'love' -.

"Stop..."

"I love you"

"Stop..."

"I've always loved you, just you,"

"I told you not to -!"

Shaking his head, paying his arms, Subaru distracts his consciousness from the tangled hot gaze.

Still, the look on Satella's face at the front doesn't look like Subaru. Therefore, Subaru has no idea what kind of heat her gaze has and stares at Subaru.

That's supposed to happen, but the hot heartbeat hitting Subaru's chest showed no sign of stopping ringing this way.

Subaru kept his own heart and soul by consciously suppressing them, raising his voice desperately, and poking rejection like spitting blood.

Literally, unless you keep trying to remain conscious that way, you are certain that the very essence of your being can be distorted. That was too much of an imagination.

Satella stands up against Subaru, who exposes this much rejection and acts so disgusted, slapping that fact.

I don't know the invisible look, that look wrapped in the dark vale. You shouldn't know, Subaru finds out that Satella would have scratched the words of Subaru today and done a trick to lay her eyes down. Somewhere in my heart I want to stroke my hair gently, put words of comfort on my painful side, whisper love and make her smile.

Even though he denied it so much, his mind kept appealing to Satella to 'love' him.

"Oh man... what the hell are you!? What have you planted on my body!? Are you planting something on me that manipulates my mind, just like the seed in" Back to Death "!?

Subaru hits Satella with his mind, his distrust, which does not obey his will.

My mind came here and suddenly began to react beyond comprehension. If a witch with paranormal powers is interfering with even the strong emotions she has, it's too much.

Distort people's minds as they please - it's the lowest thing a person can do.

For Natsuki Subaru, the first light gained in this world is' love for Emilia '.

For Subaru, who had nothing to rely on in her hand exploration, her first benevolence to Emilia, who reached out in distress, and her memory saved even to the heart, which was about to rub off, continue to shine her presence without fading away.

Captured in the days of the loop that keep repeating 'death' at its starting point, as the lonely struggle overcomes various difficulties, the number of things they want to protect and important beings has increased, and the number of words, bonds and thoughts that Subaru has accumulated in his interactions with them and with them.

Now I can't even lie about how my feelings for Emilia are the only driving force, etc.

But still, for Natsuki Subaru, the first light was Emilia. Satella imposes on Subaru a 'love heart' equal to the one she holds to Emilia.

The words exchanged, the warmth we touch, the time we spent together, the bonds we have accumulated, we are only trying to rob each other of 'affection', even though it is a pattern of nothing between them.

What are you saying about this without saying anything wrong?

"You, Echidna... are crazy! This place is... this place is full of people who don't understand! I'm sick of this!

To the faceless witch standing in the front, to the gray-haired witch standing behind her, each Subaru raises his voice without concealing his disgust.

Both Satella, who imposes an uncontaminated affection, and Echidna, who tries to intertwine others with a curiosity that is never empathetic to the constant, are monsters beyond Subaru's understanding.

"It's out of my mind to be made with that. Even if it's handled in brackets called witches, from me it's vulgar below witches. I don't understand, but I'm not wrong."

"Let it go. You're in person. I was swinging, and I'm not forgetting how spicy you are.... Enough is enough. There's no point in being here. Get me out of here. I don't want to get involved with you guys anymore!

Bad for Echidna's words, Subaru pleads with his head for liberation from the castle of his dreams.

Before Satella and Echidna, I don't want another second. Subaru has so much to do that he can't count, and it's not if we're increasing its content here and now.

Not being smart and versatile, I have the limitations of what I can handle. How can problems be added from next to next when obstacles beyond that tolerance limit are already blocked?

"I don't borrow your hands. I'll take care of everything on the outside. - I hope so! From the start, I should..."

"So? Repeat to death again and excuse yourself for making people cry: 'This was no choice but to gather information'. Heh, wow."

That's what Minerva, with his arms around him, says and snorts at Subaru, who lines up a separate word. As Subaru glanced at him with only his gaze, Minerva turned that clear face red,

"What. Are you going to say something back?

"What does that have to do with you? It would all be my problem if" Back to Death "was painful, painful, scratchy or soggy. I don't know what you're gonna say about that."

"It's easy to say that I'm prepared for pain, hard or painful, isn't it? Whatever you think of spitting blood, ripping flesh, crushing bones, watching it, the toughest part is that you can always use the excuse that you have it."

"What...!?

"If you suffer a flashy wound that is easier to understand and more visible than anyone else, you don't have to let the people who suffer small wounds say anything in the aftermath of your actions. Because you're the most painful. You're the one who hurts the most. You're the hardest... seal up the weak noises around you, you deserve it."

Subaru also strips his fangs to Minerva, where the tone becomes stronger, whether the outrage builds up within his mouth. As they say, full of malice, we cannot but argue with Subaru.

"Me! That's what you're trying to say I'm exaggerated and drunk on tragedy to seal everyone's words! You think my trail now is what I'm doing for such a gig!?

"Nothing, it's not that. It's just dastardly to conclude that 'I wish I'd hurt you more than anyone'. I don't know about Echidna's belly blackness, and I don't understand how Satella turns... but I feel worse about that distortion of yours than a witch"

――――

"Above all, from my way of life, which beats and heals everything that gets scratched, your way of life is more of a natural enemy than an opposite pole. - This girl won't be rewarded too much."

Poking his little fist at Subaru, Minerva snorts roughly out, too. Then he added a small grunt at the end of the words, and his blue eyes were directed towards Satella, who stood beside him.

Satella, who remains standing up, has remained silent ever since she was made to curse Subaru. Neither affirmation nor denial will make a declaration of intent with respect to the present exchange. I could see Minerva faintly narrowing her eyes as she missed that.

But I don't care about their emotional swings in Subaru right now.

"Disgusting... not rewarded...?

Capturing Minerva's verbal butt, Subaru's shoulder shivering small as he looked down. The tremor eventually grew bigger, and when he looked up, Subaru was laughing.

It was so ridiculous that I couldn't help laughing.

"What the hell. Disgusting or whatever, why did I start choosing this way? Why did I start thinking in your warped way? The way I do it, the way I think about it, from what I can have, it would be a natural outcome - but I guess so."

――――

"You! You did this to me!

Subaru hits his wrath at Satella, who tries to escape responsibility by shouting and keeping silence.

Embracing 'Back to Death' and using its traits to overcome obstacles, Subaru has rushed this far as he hits various ordeals.

Turning the despair of 'death', which I have tasted many times, into the power to step out every time I carve it into my soul, Subaru has run so far through it.

- That scratchy experience of Natsuki Subaru brought Subaru to the idea.

"Scratching and suffering! All, all, it's just me! I'm the only one who can do it, Hooray! No matter how painfully I ate my teeth and I bit everything down with anger and sadness and died, I wouldn't let anyone get that fingertip of despair or anything! I'm the only one scratched from start to finish, that's all right! What's wrong with you!

By repeating 'Back to Death', we can find the best way to the end of the trial and error. Exidona was right, too. I can't ride Echidna's invitation to try to satisfy my curiosity by multiplying that readiness, but you just have to keep trying the same thing on your own.

Unlike Ekidna, who tries to make an extra detour, Subaru's retries, which focus on finding the best path, must have to be far less than going with Ekidna. Of course I could imagine that it would still be an interminable number of times. But it's still worth the challenge.

If the future is beyond the stretched hands of a scratchy Subaru that no one needs to scratch.

"I don't understand, you said you were sick of it. Oh, sorry, sorry. Not a single lie in that feeling, but there was something I appreciated about you. I forgot that. Forget about it, it was a good place to be ungrateful, I am."

――――

"There's only one thing I can thank you for. Thank you for letting me 'go back to death'. I'll just thank you for this. Without this, I wouldn't have been able to protect anything important. I will continue to rely on this power. So I'll just thank you for this."

I'm already ready to keep trying and making errors.

The option of escaping the fate that stands in front of us is crushed long ago.

I took my hand and said Subaru's words to run away with me, from that time they rejected me.

I don't have a choice to escape. We just have to keep fighting. That's what I swore. She expects it from Subaru, too. I believe it. That Subaru doesn't run away and keeps fighting.

If the man who keeps rising is Subaru, otherwise Subaru cannot continue to be Rem's hero.

"So I'll just thank you for this power you gave me. Thanks to you, even a guy like me with no clue, he's stuck in a situation..."

"-Don 't."

"Situation, …"

Satella muttered about something by breaking her silence on the fudge to Subaru, who was tattering the heat that accumulated in her chest to spit it out as it was.

Hearing one end of it, Subaru's verbal momentum dulls. Stretching his face, Subaru asks again for his current grunt.

What did they say now? As if that was something you didn't want to hear.

To the breathtaking Subaru, Satella said again, after a period of silence.

"- Don't cry. Don't scratch me. Don't suffer. Don't look sad."

As he was about to complain, Satella whispered to Subaru so.

Subaru's heart trembles with enthusiasm at its content. It was an anger, a surprise, an altercation without all the emotions I couldn't understand.

"Oh, before... that..."

The emotional vortex is too big to know what to say.

With his throat blocked by passion, Subaru opens his mouth, closes, and looks at Satella stunned.

The superimposed satire continues to shake the upset of Subaru.

"So, love"

"Fuck it or... you twist my emotions like that, so ultimately that's how it's all about getting people to love themselves. In those words..."

"-No."

Satella shaking her neck sideways blocks the trembling Subaru's words.

I still don't see the look on your face. But Subaru had the look on Satella's face across that dark book that she felt in her skin about how she looked at herself.

- Satella, she's taking Subaru now.

"- More, love yourself"

I'm sure I'm staring at you with a merciful face...

Swallow the meaning of the word conveyed and it took a considerable amount of time for it to penetrate the brain.

It was a wave of shapeless trembling emotions that so dominated Subaru's mind shortly after they stained his brain.

"Say what... say it, fuck it"

"... don't scratch me. Take care of yourself more."

"I guess you gave me the power to go back to death. I guess that's how you gave me the power to move forward."

"- I love you. So you, too, love you, protect you."

"If I were myself cute and took this way away from me! What's left of me!!

Like rejecting Satella whispering endless love, Svalbard shouting put his hand on his chest,

"You know that too!? I don't have any power! Wisdom, technology, nothing special! Nothing. All I have is" Back to Death "you gave me! Then the only thing I can pay for is my life!

"Don't be sad"

"It hurts, and it's also woven to see you die. I'm fine, that's fine! If I'm the only one who feels painful, that's fine with me!

"Don't suffer"

"If I get scratched more than anyone, if I go through more than anyone, and stand around so I can protect everyone, no one but me has to feel hard! I don't want any more!

"Don't cry."

"What happened to me? Nobody cares what happens to guys like me!? If we can all make it to the future safely, how worn out I am..."

Because if Subaru doesn't keep scratching on the front line that way...

"If no one lacks it, and the future can be welcomed, so... ugh"

- Also, because you may lose someone irrevocably.

"... Lem's not here."

――――

"If I were smarter, if I were more powerful, if I didn't spare myself more, if I'd stayed on top... I'd have been avoided."

The sense of loss then, the sense of despair, binds Natsuki Subaru all the way.

So Subaru now chose not to rely on anyone, but to continue fighting alone, scratched. That's what I believed was the most right thing to do.

"That's how you have to believe... there's a way you can do it, because you have to believe..."

"Back to Death" is the means to solve everything.

If only we could use it well, Subaru wouldn't have to lose anything.

Believe me, tell me, how can you challenge that sense of despair again if you haven't convinced yourself that scratching is necessary?

"I...! I don't want to lose anyone, like Rem anymore. - Whoa!

With his head in his arms, Subaru screams in rejection of everything he can hear.

If I noticed, I'd be on the ground at some point. He even forgets to leave Satella and escapes into his shell, getting smaller and Subaru denies the sweet whisper.

Poison. Poison. For Subaru, the presence of Satella is all poison in an attempt to dissolve the will.

If I don't frustrate you, Subaru's heart will crack that much I should have sworn.

The cold despair that plunges through that cracked gap revives that day's sense of loss and rarely strikes Subaru's heart.

"You're not a child."

Pompous, I heard him squeal so.

Crying out, getting stubborn at the conclusion I made by myself, watching Subaru shake his head reluctantly, until then a witch who had kept silence groaned in a pompous manner.

"Cry, call, don't like it, hold it all in by yourself... now it's like"

――――

- You're not alone, are you?

In a pitiful voice, Sekhmet so praised Subaru now.

The witches, silent in Sekmet's whining, do not try to deny it.

The appearance was too much, and the words of the current 'lazy witch' were shooting too hard at the target.

That's what Subaru looked like now, so pathetic to watch, he was like a weak, little child.