Chapter 202 - 200: Have You Ever Truly Loved Me?
The next morning, when Cecilia Sterling got up, breakfast was already laid out on the dining table.
"Mom, how did you sleep last night? Was everything okay?"
"Wonderfully. It’s been a long time since I’ve slept so soundly," Jasmine Sterling said with a cheerful laugh.
Her sleep quality was usually decent, but their old apartment complex was inevitably filled with all sorts of noises. With many elderly neighbors, she could often hear movement downstairs before the sun was even up.
But in her daughter’s villa, you couldn’t hear a single sound from outside all day. It was incredibly quiet. The bed was comfortable, and on top of that, it was her very own daughter’s home. She slept so soundly she barely even dreamed.
Cecilia smiled at her mother’s words. "I’m glad you slept well. I have to go back to school for an exam today, so I’ll need you to wait for me here. If you want to go out for a walk, just remember to let me know. Don’t just head out on your own without saying anything."
"I know, I won’t go out. Besides, I have to stay home and keep an eye on the God Jumps Over the Wall," Jasmine said.
Cecilia nodded. "Okay, then after my exam tomorrow, I’ll bring my roommate over to have some of your God Jumps Over the Wall."
"Alright. Now, hurry and eat your breakfast. Head to school as soon as you’re done so you’re not late for your exam."
"Around lunchtime, you could give Lily a video call to let her know you’re here. She’s usually free around then."
"Okay, I will," Jasmine nodded.
After finishing her meal, Cecilia drove to school and headed straight for her dorm. The things she needed for her exam were still there.
But as she reached the entrance of her dorm building, she saw Shawn Lane.
The sudden sight of him made Cecilia freeze for a moment. It felt like it had been a very long time. She couldn’t remember how long it had been since she’d last seen Shawn Lane; for a second, she couldn’t even recall the time or place of their last encounter.
Plus, she had made things official with Saul Thorne and had been incredibly busy lately, so she had completely pushed Shawn from her mind.
Seeing him again, she noticed he had lost a lot of weight. The light was gone from his eyes, which were now filled with a murky sort of gloom.
Cecilia snapped back to reality. She still had no desire to speak with him, but it was obvious he was there to see her. He spoke first. "Cecilia, I’m here today to process my withdrawal from school."
News that Shawn Lane was withdrawing had spread through their class a long time ago, so Cecilia already knew. She’d actually thought he had taken care of it already.
Cecilia’s expression was impassive, her tone even more so. "You don’t need to make a special trip to inform me of your affairs. We have nothing to do with each other anymore."
This wasn’t the first time Shawn had heard her say that. This time, however, he didn’t fly into a rage as he had before. There was no hysterical shouting, no demanding questions.
It wasn’t that he was numb to it. He just understood in his heart that after what had happened with Beatrice Lynn, he no longer had any right to demand an answer from Cecilia.
This was the root cause of his utter despair, the reason he had decided to leave the country.
Shawn looked at Cecilia and continued, almost as if speaking to himself. "I just came to say goodbye. Whatever it was I did without realizing it that made you unable to forgive me, or whatever my mother said or did to you... starting today, you won’t have to worry about any of it anymore. I won’t show up and bother you ever again."
Even now, Shawn still didn’t understand what had gone wrong between him and Cecilia. ’Was it me, or my mother?’
But how could he possibly have guessed that the cause was the pain and persecution Cecilia had suffered in her past life? Because of that, this was a question he would never find the answer to, not in this lifetime.
"Are you finished?" Cecilia asked, her gaze flat.
Shawn’s lips trembled, but he ultimately nodded. Unwilling to linger a moment longer, Cecilia walked around him and hurried up the steps. Just as she was about to enter the dormitory, Shawn suddenly summoned his courage and called out to her. "Cecilia Sterling!"
His voice was louder this time, making Cecilia stop in her tracks, but she didn’t turn around.
Emotion welled in Shawn’s eyes, making them glisten. His voice trembled as he stared at Cecilia’s back. "I want to know... from beginning to end, did you ever truly love me?"
Asking this question, Shawn shed the last vestiges of his pride.
But in truth, he had long since lost all dignity and resolve in front of her. He had already been reduced to dust at her feet.
Cecilia’s back was to him, so Shawn couldn’t see her expression, but a flicker of hope was evident in his eyes. He hoped her answer would soothe his heart and soul, easing the struggle and pain he had endured for so long.
All it would take was a single, slight nod from her. For him, that would be more than enough.
Cecilia’s expression was as still and cold as a winter lake, the depths of her eyes hinting that she was lost in a memory.
’Did I ever love him?’
Of course she had. If she hadn’t loved him so deeply, how could he have wounded her so completely? If she hadn’t loved him so deeply, how could the pain have been so great that it couldn’t be healed for the rest of her life, leaving her utterly alone until the day she died, never daring to believe in love again? If she hadn’t loved him so deeply, how could she have hated him with such unforgettable intensity?
But all of that was in her last life.
This life...
Cecilia didn’t turn around. Instead, she gave a slight shake of her head, delivering the most silent, yet most powerful, of blows.
’In this life, she had never loved him.’
Shawn watched as Cecilia slowly shook her head. The hope in his eyes gradually flickered out, replaced by a layer of dead ash that mirrored the state of his heart.
Without a single glance back, Cecilia hurried through the entrance.
*
Jasmine Sterling wasn’t one to sit idle at home alone. The villa was certainly large, but for someone who had spent half her life in the housekeeping department of a five-star hotel, it was hardly intimidating.
No sooner had her daughter walked out the door than Jasmine changed her clothes and got busy, wiping down a surface here, polishing a spot there.
As she worked, however, she realized the house wasn’t dirty at all. What she didn’t know was that Cecilia had a professional cleaning crew from property management come by every week. Otherwise, how could one person possibly keep a house this large tidy on their own?
Just as she was bustling about, Saul Thorne arrived.
"Mrs. Sterling."
He called out as soon as he stepped inside, but Jasmine was on the third floor and didn’t hear him. Saul casually set down the things he was carrying by the entrance and went upstairs to find her, eventually spotting her on the third-floor balcony, watering the plants.
Jasmine jumped in surprise. "Oh, Saul! What are you doing here?"
Saul was wearing a black overcoat today, which looked particularly good on his tall frame. A warm, friendly smile spread across his face. "Cecilia has exams for the next couple of days, and I figured it must be boring for you to stay home alone after coming all this way to Lorcain. I happen to be free today, so I was thinking I could take you out for a bit."
"It’s getting pretty cold in Lorcain, and I noticed you didn’t seem to pack many warm clothes. I could take you to buy a coat. Otherwise, you might catch a cold when Cecilia takes you out sightseeing in a few days."