August, Tensho 9: Snow
I had a dream.
I dreamed of the old ...... dreams when my father and mother were alive.
A long, long dream.
Okaasan!
"Oh my goodness, the snow is so sweet.
As a young girl, I jumped into my mother's chest with an unsteady step, and the nostalgic scene reminded me that I was in a dream.
In those days, I was always at home with my mother because my eyesight was poor and I would get sunburned playing outside.
I was not able to help my mother at home due to my frail body, but I loved my family who loved me so much.
My family consisted of my father, my mother, my brother, and I. My father was the best hunter in the village.
My father was the best hunter in the village, and although it hurt when his big hands stroked me, it made me feel warm and fuzzy, and I loved my mother and brother who were always kind enough to hug me.
That's why I hated being different from such a beloved family member. I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I'm not the only one with white hair and skin color, blue eyes and fragile body. ...... The appearance of my family and people in the village was so far removed from them that I felt isolated in this world, and I was sad and shed tears without knowing it.
It was my mother who always comforted me. I didn't want anyone to know, but my mother could see through me, and she would gently hold me until my tears ran dry.
Mom, why am I different from everyone else? Everyone says I'm a cousin of ......
It's okay, snow is not a bastard. Because I'm so happy that the snow was born. There is no other girl with such beautiful hair. Everyone is envious of you.
I loved this time when I could be pampered by my mother, who gently combed my hair, and I could feel her warmth and love. I loved to feel my mother's warmth and love.
Snow, one day someone will accept you for who you are, even if it's against the world. You will find someone who will protect you, even if it means making enemies with the whole world. ......
"Really?
"Yes, of course! Mom, you've never lied before, have you?
"Unh!
"Fufu ...... ...... hahahahahaha!
It was a happy time. I wish these days would continue forever and ever: ......
The world didn't even recognize such a small wish.
One snowy day, I found my parents dead.
When I woke up in the morning, I found that my father and mother, who had been healthy until yesterday, had turned into a wreckage that would never move again.
I didn't know what to do at the time, and all I could do was cry and scream, but my brother carried me out on his back with a desperate look on his face.
...... As we ran away, I finally realized that I was stupid enough to see the adults chasing after us with a devilish look on their faces.
These people killed my parents ...... and that it was my fault that they were killed.
From this day on, my world turned gray.
No matter what I ate or drank, I couldn't taste it, and even the faces and sights of people were fading.
It would have been so much easier if he didn't feel anything at all, but his slanderous comments about me were the only thing that lingered in his mind and made him want to cry.
I'm not sure how many times I've moved ...... after the death of my parents, but I was persecuted over and over again, and each time I was exposed to the slanderous comments, I became mentally ill.
I was so hungry that I had no strength to rebel, and I was at the end of my rope, both physically and mentally.
I'll never forget the events of this day for the rest of my life, because I did such an irreversible thing .......
I'll never forget what happened on this day for the rest of my life.
"Huh?
"I'm telling you to go away! What the hell! Why do you have to do this to me! What did I do?
"............ snow
Suddenly the screeching voice that struck, the brother is stunned. This is just taking it out on you. I know it's meaningless. It's a stupid, pointless, foolish thing to do. You should have known that.
But the emotions I had once overflowed into my body didn't stop and I lashed out at my brother.
You're sick of it, too, aren't you? I can't even get a good meal and settle down with these monsters! It's my fault that my mom and dad died! All of it, all of it, all of it, all of it, all of it, all of it, all of it, all of it, all of it, is ...... my fault, all of it, all of it, all of it, all of it. Yo ......, why do I have to live like this?
Oh, ...... I said ......, it wasn't supposed to be like this, it wasn't supposed to be like this .......
The only thing I can do now is to squat down and cry.
No matter how much I regret it, it's too late. I'm not going to be able to say the words once they're out of my mouth, and I can't pretend they never happened again.
I'm not going to be able to get the same results for you as I did for you. I have cut off my precious family by my own hand.
What a helpless woman ...... deserves to be abandoned in this situation.
I'm not going to be able to get the best out of it. Warm as a mother and powerful as a father's hug, Solé said, 'I'll never let go! I'm sure you'll be able to find a way to make it work.
I'm sure you'll be able to find a way to make it work for you. ...... You said such a terrible thing, why do you want to hug me?
Of course it is. To me, snow is not a monster! My precious sister.
I couldn't help but feel painful looking at my brother, who laughed so gently everywhere and in every way.
If I hadn't been there, I'm sure he would have been laughing with my father and mother by now. I could have gotten married or even had a child.
How could they love me so much after I stole such a happy future from them?
She seemed to know what I was thinking, and gently patted my head over and over again.
Snow is a kind girl. She keeps blaming herself for the deaths of her fathers and for the painful life she is living now.
But there's nothing wrong with the snow. I'm sorry, snow, you were scared, weren't you? What if I died, right?
"...... yeah! I'm afraid of losing my family again because of me!
So, leave me here, brother. If I'm not there, I'm sure you'll have a happy future .......
...... Stupid, snow, did you forget your promise?
At my brother's words, I look up with a huff. I'm not going to be able to say that I'm not going to be able to do anything about it.
It's not just a matter of time before you'll be able to get your hands on it.
From now on, we'll be together in hard times, in sad times and in happy times. "From now on, we're going to be together, whether we're sad or happy. And we'll always be together.
"All the time?
"Oh, we'll be together forever. I promise.
"Yeah!
"Oh ...... oh ...... I'm sorry ...... I'm sorry brother
It's an important, important promise. I don't know why I forgot about it, but it's a precious memory we made together.
You're not afraid anymore?
"Yeah, yeah!
I'm glad to hear that. It's going to be okay, snow, some day someone will appear who will protect you. Until then, my brother will protect you, and I will be there for you forever and ever, so you will be fine.
"U...... ugh ...... ughhhhhhhhhh!
On this day, one color returned to the world that was gray. I did not lose anything important.
Thanks to that, I've been able to live until now. If it wasn't for my brother, I wouldn't have been able to survive this long.
He is my brother's precious family and I am proud to be his sister.
And then we met the man of our dreams.
The tragedy that struck us in Hakone was on a scale we had never seen before, and there was nowhere to run.
I'm sure you'll be able to find a way to make it work for you.
If you're going to die, at least be with your brother .......
In the midst of such desperation, a helping hand was given to us.
'Stop!
"You've got to be kidding me! You disparage us and try to kill us because we are different from you. Don't you feel ashamed of yourselves for imposing such a high standard of living? You silly little bugger!
"Not to think about your own behavior, to make me into a tool, and even to think about the future? The most important thing! I will not allow you to be happy with your car on the ground!
"Of course! You are not a ghost. No monster has ever shed so many beautiful tears! You may go. I'll take care of it, come with your brother.
In the blink of an eye, Master Sambodhi convinced the people and settled the situation. I will never forget the way he stood for us and the many words he said to us.
The way he stretched out his arms against the sunset and intimidated the people made his normally small back seem many times larger than it was.
And the words of the Three Dharma Masters were pure, righteous, and beautiful to all intents and purposes. The truthful words of the Master, which were not false, brought color to my grayed-out world.
I'm sure you'll be able to trust this person ...... and because I could see that from the bottom of my heart, my closed mind was healed.
Mom, there you are! There really was someone to protect me. There was someone who accepted me for the monster I am, for the monster I look like this .......
He told me that I was a human being and that it was okay to live like this. He shed tears at our situation.
The Master of Buddhism taught me the meaning of life. How happy I was to hear that .......
Mom and Dad, I'm very happy now.
So don't worry. One day, I'm sure I'll go to visit the grave with Master Sanboshi and your brother.