Chapter 1049 - 1022: The Heart Is Too Small to Hold a Grave
Coming to a hot pot restaurant without ordering a pot, just drinking, aside from friends of the owner, not many people can do that.
Hai Zhao received a call from Yu Minglang and knew Qian was coming, so he not only prepared the best private room in advance, but also took the liquor from his private wine cellar and served it to Qian personally.
After filling the glass, Qian opened with a straightforward remark.
"I’ve transferred Bai Jin abroad, you can rest assured, apart from you, no one will be able to pick this lily in a short time."
Qiuqiu looked up blankly, glanced at Qian, and then sighed in resignation.
"Don’t ruin it for others. I’m not sure how many years I have left, don’t hold back her personal life."
He was aware of Qian’s capabilities.
If Qian didn’t want anyone else to get close to Bai Jin, she could completely prevent it, but how could he be so selfish?
"What’s really going on?"
Qiuqiu took a swig of alcohol, "My dad’s surgery is the day after tomorrow; it’s already at a late stage."
When a person is in a bad mood, all alcohol tastes bitter.
"Has it been confirmed?"
"Yes, he was diagnosed last time when he looked for someone to electrocute me. He’s being treated in the top hospital here. Qian, do you think I owed this old man money in my past life? He tormented me for the first half of my life, making me neither male nor female; I’ve finally got used to myself, and then he suddenly gets a terminal illness. Tell me, am I suffocating inside?"
Qiuqiu downed the alcohol in one gulp; the strong liquor served by Hai Zhao seemed like water to him.
"I can provide him end-of-life care, the price will follow my average session rate, 2000 an hour. Your family should be able to afford that."
For an old man causing distress to a friend’s life, Qian had no desire to negotiate a discount.
"Will it be useful?" Qiuqiu confusedly asked Qian.
"It might help a bit, allowing him to live a few more months, cooperate with the medical treatment, maybe optimistically it could be a few years."
No matter how long it is, Qiuqiu’s father’s life had begun its countdown.
It’s a fact no one can change; when Qiuqiu thought about his dad becoming a handful of ash buried underground, his hatred, anger had nowhere to vent, he felt a nameless fire blocked in his heart.
"Before today, I planned to confirm my relationship with Bai Jin, then the two of us would go abroad to get a certificate, just live like that from now on. You know our circle, finding a perfect match you don’t have to compromise with is too hard. Finally meeting one wasn’t easy, but this old man, it’s at this moment I learn he’s going to die. If I decide on this matter, he might just kick the bucket and go to heaven, won’t Bai Jin and I have to bear the guilt of a grave all our lives? What do I really owe him from my past life?"
At this point, Qiuqiu couldn’t clarify if he hated his father more or this world more. He wants to let go of everything, yet he can’t release anything. As the countdown to life begins, talking about hate no longer holds meaning; he can only ensure his father leaves this world with no regrets, even if it means compromising his own feelings.
For a man, the biggest taboo is irresponsibility.
He couldn’t let the old man die angry and still worried about him, even if he had to pretend, it must be done to reassure him in his final moments.
He couldn’t let Bai Jin bear the guilt of angering his old man to death, no matter how deep the love, it can’t carry the weight of a life. Though the old man is sick of his own doing, if he found out he and Bai Jin weren’t cut off, the old man would surely die from anger.
By then, wouldn’t Bai Jin be heartbroken for life, guilty for life?
Qian silently refilled Qiuqiu’s glass, which he again finished in one go.
He put down the glass, eyes already red.
"Qian, why is living so suffocating? Was he fair to me? When I was a child he beat me, looked down on me, left me neither male nor female, when I grew up, he suddenly is going to be gone... How can a person just say they’ve vanished just like that?"
The last sentences carried a weeping tone.
Those who’ve never experienced life’s final parting find it hard to imagine the pain of losing close ones.
Especially with such sudden illness, it catches people off guard, one moment a healthy person alive, next they’re just gone, it’s hard to accept.
In Qiuqiu’s heart, his father was always detestable, he had prepared mentally to battle this old man all his life, to show him his happy life.
But how can this old man suddenly just be gone?
Something fell into the alcohol and made ripples.
Taking the tissue handed by Qian, Qiuqiu realized he had cried.
"I only have hatred for that old man, so why do I still cry for him?"
"Who knows, human instinct is something not even we professionals can fully understand. Dwelling on it only leads to self-torment; right now just let nature take its course."
Qian had taken on many end-of-life care cases, although some weren’t for the deceased, but for the surviving relatives.
Many people can’t recover long after their loved ones have been gone, experiencing prolonged psychological emptiness, Qian had the task of filling these voids.
So-called love and hate don’t compare to life and death; reaching this critical moment one realizes nothing really matters.
Qiuqiu talked about many things with Qian that night, and drank a lot, but the phrase that saddened Qian most was muttered by Qiuqiu in drunken haze.
"Life is too long yet too short, sometimes I wish in a blink decades have passed, and I could walk hand in hand with the one I love in the park, maybe gray and old, reflecting on a hundred years guilt-free. But why does time make life seem so slow? I hate it for being too fast, can’t catch the old man I loathe, yet I hate it for being too slow, ultimately losing the one I love to bear all this. Qian, almighty Qian, tell me, is there a way in this world that satisfies both sides, is there..."
"There is, uphold your true self without guilt, once you’ve lived clearly you’ll understand, living is really about making yourself happy without hurting others."
For the first time, Qiuqiu—with remarkable tolerance—drank until he was dead drunk, and was finally carried back to the hospital by people arranged by Qian.
Qian filled the remaining liquor again, gazing at the now empty spot, her eyes deep.
"Come out."
There was a hidden room in this suite, the door was locked.
Once Qian spoke, the door opened, the tear-streaked Bai Jin walked out, while Qian and Qiuqiu drank for nearly four hours, she had stayed inside those four hours.
"Sit." Qian pointed to the spot Qiuqiu had been sitting.
The cups hadn’t been removed, Qiuqiu’s cup still had half a glass of remaining drink, Bai Jin said nothing, grabbed the cup and drank it all.
The non-drinker forced herself to swallow it down.
"Did you hear everything?"
"Yes, I heard it."
"What do you plan to do?"
"I’ll go to E Country, he doesn’t want to see me now, but as long as I’m alive and he’s alive, we’ll meet again someday."
"Do you wish for me to treat his father? You know if I intervene, the time until you two meet might be extended."
"Treat him, he can’t carry a grave in his heart, neither can I. Extend his father’s life by a year, I’ll wait a year, extend by ten years, I’ll wait ten years, extend by decades, I..."