Shattered Sanity

After being stitched up, Riven was thrown back inside his prison cell, where the heavy iron shackle was once again fastened around his wrist before the guard slammed the iron door shut behind him and disappeared without saying another word.

Slowly lowering himself against the cold stone wall, Riven let out a quiet groan as the fresh stitches across his back pulled painfully with even the slightest movement, making it impossible for him to find a comfortable position no matter how he adjusted himself.

’My back! It burns so bad....’

He thought, as for a while he tried counting sheep to fall asleep, but when sleep did not come to him no matter what, he eventually gave up and simply leaned against the wall, staring absentmindedly towards the dim ceiling while allowing his thoughts to wander towards events of today’s afternoon.

He remembered sparing Diddy’s life after knocking him unconscious inside this very cell, only for the first stab to catch him completely off guard before the second, third, and fourth followed in quick succession until warm blood had begun running down his back.

Even now, simply recalling that sensation caused his body to tense instinctively.

’I really was going to let him go...’

Riven admitted to himself, as although Diddy had attacked him without the slightest hesitation, once the man had been knocked unconscious for a second time, his own instinct had still been to walk away and leave the matter there.

Had Boss Pei remained silent, that was exactly what he would have done.

He would have convinced himself that the danger had passed and that the fight had already ended, only to wake up another day with a knife buried even deeper inside his back.

’Showing mercy here was not admirable, it was stupidity....’

That single thought refused to leave his mind.

Because no matter how many different ways he examined the situation, he always reached exactly the same conclusion.

Everything that had happened today had happened because he lacked the resolve to finish an enemy the very first time he had the opportunity.

Lucius had spent months teaching him that an ideal noble embodied honour, restraint, dignity, compassion and virtue, and until today Riven had accepted every one of those lessons without ever stopping to question whether they truly belonged in every circumstance.

Yet inside the Castle Gallows, those very ideals had almost cost him his life within a single afternoon, as while he had viewed sparing Diddy as the morally correct thing to do, Diddy had viewed being spared as nothing more than another chance to succeed where he had previously failed.

Slowly, Riven found himself thinking back towards the final conversation he had shared with Lucius before losing consciousness.

’Your father believes that you are still too soft...’

At the time, those words had stung deeply.

He had questioned why the Duke seemed so disappointed in him and wondered what flaw his father could possibly have seen after everything he had endured to become the perfect noble.

Now, however, the answer no longer seemed nearly as difficult to understand.

Prison had taught him in a single afternoon what months of lessons beneath Lucius never could.

An enemy did not stop being an enemy simply because they had been shown mercy.

If anything, allowing them to survive only ensured that the next encounter would take place on their terms instead of his, because while Riven had walked away believing the conflict had ended, Diddy had spent every waking moment since searching for another opportunity to bury a blade between his ribs.

"Never again.... I will never spare an enemy’s life ever again."

Riven murmured, as he finally began to understand what Duke Drew had wanted him to learn.

He was indeed too soft, with his weakness not being a lack of courage or strength, but rather the fact that he had the moral compass of a poor man.

Growing up, his mother had instilled in him virtuous ideas such as, how to always pray to Minerva for the life of a livestock before killing them, or how forgiveness was something that everyone deserved.

She had been a bright individual, despite the hardships she suffered, and as a result, Riven had grown up half decent.

However, only now did he start to understand that the poor man’s way of thinking was both dangerous and foolish.

There was no honor in death.

And no shame in vanquishing your enemies.

"When I reach the academy, although I won’t be allowed to outright kill my opponents, since that would get me expelled, I would still leave no stone unturned to destroy them."

Riven vowed, as he lowered his gaze towards the dried blood staining the front of his prison clothes before clenching his fist.

’I won’t remain this soft forever, slowly, I will become a true Dawnriver...’

The words surfaced naturally inside his mind, carrying far more conviction than anything he had ever promised himself before.

And as that thought settled, another face quietly entered his mind.

Boss Pei.

’That Boss... he seems to be a wise individual.’

Riven thought, as based on their short but impactful conversation earlier, he realized that although the man was a criminal, there was still a thing or two that he could learn from him during his brief stay inside the Castle Gallows.

’Since Father wanted me to toughen up inside this prison, then I think I should spend more time around that man over the coming weeks and see what more I can absorb from him before I leave.’

He concluded, as regardless of whatever crimes Boss Pei had committed before being imprisoned, the old man clearly understood this place far better than he did, and if Riven wished to survive the remaining month without making any more foolish mistakes, then there was probably nobody better suited to guide him.

With that final decision made, Riven slowly leaned his head back against the cold stone wall and closed his eyes once more, as although the pain across his back still made sleep difficult, exhaustion eventually overtook him, bringing an end to his first day inside the Castle Gallows.