Chapter 143 - 123: The Fool Is Gone
A heavy weight seemed to press down on Zhao Zun’s heart, so oppressive that he could hardly breathe.
On the cart, the bodies of fifteen trusted aides were neatly lined up, each face once familiar to him, now left only with a cold pallor.
Their pale faces had their eyes tightly shut, as if they were just asleep, but Zhao Zun knew they would never wake again.
Whose sons were they?
Whose husbands?
And whose fathers?
For the success of one general, countless bones must wither. Fifteen families shattered because of him, and all people saw was Zhao Zun’s great achievement.
Yet who could know that such merit was something he would rather not possess?
Zhao Zun slowly stood up, walked to each body, bent down, and gently wiped their faces with a damp cloth.
His movements were very slow, as if afraid to hurt them. His fingers trembled slightly, and his heart clenched with pain upon touching those icy cheeks.
These trusted aides, who once fought alongside him and shielded him from countless blades, now lost their lives due to suspicion and oppression caused by him.
He owed them.
"I’m sorry... I’m sorry."
Zhao Zun whispered softly, his voice so hoarse it was barely audible.
His eyes burned, tears welled up but he held them back from falling.
He knew he couldn’t falter here, nor show weakness. He was their backbone, the one they protected with their lives, he had to be strong.
Han Lei stood not far away, holding a box of rice and a bowl of steaming soup in her hands, looking at Zhao Zun with complicated emotions.
Her face was still painted with greasepaint, concealing her originally delicate and sweet appearance, yet her eyes remained as bright as stars.
She looked at Zhao Zun’s back, a sour and painful feeling rising in her heart.
She understood how heavy Zhao Zun’s heart was at this moment, but she also knew he was on the verge of breaking down.
She walked up to Zhao Zun and gently handed him the soup, her voice soft and gentle.
"Have something to eat first, you haven’t eaten for a day."
Zhao Zun didn’t take it, just shook his head blankly, his gaze still fixed on Ma Cheng’s body.
His voice was low and hoarse: "I’m not hungry."
Han Lei furrowed her brow, her tone carrying a hint of probing.
"What are you thinking?"
Zhao Zun finally looked up at Han Lei.
His eyes were hollow and weary, as if all life had drained from them.
Then, he pulled a self-deprecating smile.
"My heart is dead, you know what I’m thinking."
My heart is dead?
At these words, a sharp light flashed in Han Lei’s eyes. She knelt down to meet Zhao Zun’s gaze, her voice soft but firm.
"Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go get him now!"
Zhao Zun was stunned for a moment, seemingly not expecting Han Lei to speak so directly.
His gaze lingered on Han Lei’s face for a long time, as if contemplating something.
Han Lei gazed at him, her eyes bright as stars, seemingly able to perceive the deepest thoughts within him.
Finally, Zhao Zun slowly nodded, his voice low and resolute.
"Alright, once we return, we’ll do it."
Han Lei’s lips curved into a faint, satisfied smile.
She knew that Ma Cheng and those trusted aides’ deaths were the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Because of them, Zhao Zun finally erupted.
This also meant Zhao Zun understood what she had said: Loyalty depends on whether the other side is worth it.
And both of them knew who "he" referred to — those in the court who played power games and suspected the loyal, those who caused them to lose countless brothers.
Since Han Lei had already spoken those words, Zhao Zun stood up, his gaze sweeping over the trusted aides lying on the ground, the anger and hatred in his heart growing stronger.
He could no longer hesitate or retreat. The vengeance for these trusted aides and for Ma Cheng, he had to exact himself.
"I’m hungry."
Zhao Zun’s voice was low and powerful, as if he had regained his usual calmness and decisiveness.
"Mm!"
Han Lei chuckled softly, nodding, and held out the boxed meal to him again.
Once he took the meal, Han Lei raised her hand to gently smooth his furrowed brow, her eyes filled with pain.
"Zun, if you’re hungry, just eat first. After sleeping, a new day will dawn. No matter what you decide to do, I’ll definitely be there with you."
"Mm!"
Zhao Zun nodded, brushing his cheek against Han Lei’s soft little hand before starting to devour the meal voraciously.