Chapter 28: The Prince Lets Go
Han Lei took out the cleaning tools from the space and cleaned up the mess on the floor. Then she took out an air freshener and sprayed the room. Only after the air circulated did she close the doors and windows.
After tidying up the room, she looked at the soundly sleeping Zhao Zun and sighed softly.
Sitting sideways on the bed, she took out hot water and a towel from the space, wringing the towel gently to wipe Zhao Zun’s cheeks and the stains around his mouth.
Perhaps the warmth on his face made Zhao Zun feel very comfortable, as he gently turned his body, his face inclined towards Han Lei.
Han Lei carefully wiped twice, then wrung the towel again to clean his hands.
"Oh!" Han Lei sighed lightly, "The court confiscated your military power, I know you feel terrible. But getting this drunk, what’s the use? You’re only hurting your own body."
Putting down the towel, Han Lei held Zhao Zun’s hand in hers and stroked it repeatedly, her movements extremely gentle, as if she wanted to convey her care and comfort through this caress.
"I’m not very good at comforting others." Han Lei murmured to the sleeping Zhao Zun, "But I know that the end of one Chapter of life might be the beginning of another."
"What good is your dissatisfaction? Handing over the military power, just vent here at Mr. Luo’s place, and after waking up tomorrow, it will be a brand new day. You’ve been made a prince with a different surname; returning to the capital, you can receive rewards and enjoy a few days of peace before planning again."
"Perhaps you’ve weighed it yourself, if you don’t hand over the military power, given the Emperor’s suspicious nature, plus others’ instigations, he would definitely accuse you of rebellion and attack you. With enemies eyeing Beiguan, you’d be beset on all sides, is that what you want?"
Zhao Zun hummed a little, turned over, and curled up. Han Lei adjusted his quilt, gave him a little water, and continued to hold his hand, talking incessantly.
"You’re upset and holding a grudge in your heart because your efforts are different from others; you’re fighting with all your life! You and your brothers are using your youth, your lives, to defend the peace of the Da Jing Dynasty. Yet all this cannot escape the manipulation of imperial power."
"I understand your sadness and reluctance. You want to lead the troops, but were stripped of military power. Your and your brothers’ loyalty and contributions of many years are belittled and slandered by others, making you feel regretful and disheartened. It’s like a book I’ve read, called ’Heavenly Dragon Eight Books.’ Do you know what the regrets in it are?"
As Han Lei spoke, her thoughts returned to the days of passion of following the drama in her youth.
"In ’Heavenly Dragon Eight Books,’ Duan Yu didn’t want to practice martial arts but ended up becoming a martial arts master, while Jiu Mozhi, who pursued the highest martial arts, lost all his skills and became a waste. What Murong Fu pursued all his life was something Duan Yu got at birth. Yet what Duan Yu chased for half his life, Wang Yuyan, was something Murong Fu could easily have. Qiao Feng despised the Qidan most, only to find out he himself was a Qidan. Isn’t that ironic?"
"It’s like how many people dream for what others already have. How many fight for a lifetime towards a goal that’s just others’ starting point, or even just make wedding clothes for others."
Han Lei’s thoughts were wandering in the scenes of ’Heavenly Dragon Eight Books.’ She didn’t notice the person curled up in a ball whose shoulders were slightly trembling, emitting soft sobs.
"The moon waxes full but wanes, everyone has regrets in life, and perfection doesn’t exist. Since you’ve decided to return to the capital, let the past be bygone! Facing all setbacks and regrets in life, as long as you stand firm and fight upstream, you won’t have come to this bustling world in vain. Losing the Marshal position, perhaps there is a better life waiting ahead."
"Ugh ugh ugh..."
The soft sobbing turned into loud cries that filled the entire room, startling Han Lei. What should have been a soundly sleeping Zhao Zun suddenly sat up, burying his whole head in Han Lei’s lap, finally letting go of his masculine pride and crying loudly in front of the woman he loved, amidst her self-consolations.
Han Lei snapped back to reality, looking at the head suddenly lying on her lap, at a loss.
"Oh you...you you...why are you crying? Did...did I accidentally press you too hard?"
Han Lei quickly released her hand, raising it. She thought to herself, I only seemed to caress gently, not massage, right?
Zhao Zun hugged Han Lei’s leg and cried for a while. Maybe after venting his emotions, he felt much better, and the loud cry gradually turned to sobbing.
Zhao Zun raised his head to look at Han Lei, his face showing some embarrassment.
"You said you weren’t good at comforting people, but you’re quite good at it! Girl, thank you! I’m sorry to let you see that."
"No no no." Han Lei quickly waved her hand, her head shaking like a rattling drum.
So what if he’s a man? Even the strongest man has moments of emotional breakdown. It’s just venting of emotions, how could she laugh at that?
It’s said that men do not shed tears easily, only because they’re not at the place of heartbreak. She knows Emperor Jing’s suspiciousness has truly left Zhao Zun heartbroken.
"Now that you’ve cried it out, do you...feel much better?" Han Lei timidly asked, fearing she would accidentally hurt this man’s pride.
"Yes! Much better." Zhao Zun wiped away the tears left on his cheeks and said relievedly, "You’re right, what’s past is past, there’s no need to feel disheartened."
"Exactly. Losing the military power isn’t your fault, but the Emperor’s loss. The Emperor doesn’t know how to recognize and use people wisely, only knows how to be suspicious; his regretful days are ahead!"
Seeing Zhao Zun seemed to have gotten over it, Han Lei had no more qualms, openly comforting him. After all, there were only the two of them in this room; talking ill of the Emperor to vent wouldn’t be heard by anyone.
"You’re right! No matter how His Majesty wants to deal with me, I’ll defend against the soldiers and cover against the water. I’m not only capable of leading troops; if I work hard, I can live a good life just the same."
Han Lei’s consolations indeed proved effective, Zhao Zun felt a sudden lightness in his heart.
"Yes! And I’m here with you; since I’ve come to your side, I will certainly fight alongside you. Together, we will strive and surely create a wonderful life." Han Lei promised earnestly.
Since it’s destined for her life to intertwine with Zhao Zun’s, it’s also destined to face all storms together, fighting side by side.
Zhao Zun gazed deeply into Han Lei’s eyes, silent for a long while. He could feel the determination and encouragement in her words, as well as her acceptance and commitment to him.
Han Lei felt a little embarrassed under Zhao Zun’s intense gaze. She glanced outside the window, stood up, and from the system bought some bread and milk to hand them to him.
"You’ve emptied your stomach last night. Since you’ve gotten over it, eat something to fill your stomach and rest, as it’s already dawn." Han Lei said softly.
Zhao Zun looked towards the window; it indeed was already light outside.
"I’ll first take you back to rest, as you’ve worked hard all night." Zhao Zun said, lifting the quilt to get out of bed, but was held down by Han Lei, who pulled the quilt over him again.
"No need to come and go, I’m just in the next courtyard, not far."
"Then...okay!"
Zhao Zun no longer insisted, just holding tightly to the warmth in his palm, obediently lying back under the quilt. Because there still remained the gentleness of Han Lei’s touch.
Han Lei left, closing the door behind her, stretching lazily as she walked away.
She didn’t return to her courtyard to rest but kept taking deep breaths and doing chest expansion exercises as she headed to the courtyard where Ah Mao and the others lived.