Chapter 30: What Are You Trying to Pull Now?
Chen Pingting couldn’t possibly look pleased to see Xiao Li. "You have the nerve to enter the palace? And you can still smile?"
Xiao Li replied, "You sure are nosy. What business is it of yours whether I smile or not?"
Chen Pingting gritted her teeth. "Such a sharp tongue."
Then, as if she’d thought of something, she laughed out loud. "Xuanyang, don’t tell me you’ve given up and started acting recklessly because you can’t win Mr. Lu’s heart?"
"The Lu Family despises you too. They wouldn’t even let you have a proper look at him when you visited. Hahaha..." Her eyes and lips curled into a sneer. "You truly are pathetic."
Xiao Li laughed too, but her smile was far more wicked. "What would I do with his heart? It’s not like I can dig it out and make soup with it. But his body is mine. I can beat him when I want, sleep with him when I want. A shame some people can’t get a single hair on him and can only drool with envy from the sidelines! Heh..."
With a scornful smirk, she turned and walked away.
Chen Pingting was so furious her nails dug into her palms. "Xuanyang!!!"
’Aaaah! This is so infuriating!’
’That bitch!!’
’I will definitely make Mr. Lu divorce her, grind her into the mud, and make her wish she were dead!’
While Chen Pingting was plotting how to deal with Xiao Li, Xiao Li had no intention of letting her off the hook either. Changing her course from the military camp, she first made a trip to the Empress Dowager’s palace—to tattle!
"Empress Dowager, perhaps I should just divorce the Prince Consort."
The Empress Dowager frowned. "What kind of trouble are you stirring up now?"
Xiao Li sighed. "It’s not that I want to cause a scene. I’m only thinking of you, Empress Dowager."
The Empress Dowager sneered, "All you need to do is behave yourself for me."
Xiao Li slowly toyed with the lid of her teacup. "Does the Empress Dowager know that my dear cousin Pingting has someone in her heart?"
The Empress Dowager’s expression darkened. "Pingting is about to enter the palace as a concubine. Don’t you dare spout nonsense and ruin her reputation. If you do, I will not spare you."
Xiao Li wasn’t afraid of her. "Empress Dowager, you wrong me with those words. I couldn’t be happier if my cousin Pingting were to enter the palace. Otherwise, she’ll just keep opposing me over the Prince Consort. She’s even more eager to visit the Prince Consort than I am. Why, she even burst into tears right in front of the Lu family matriarch after seeing his injuries! Anyone who didn’t know better would think Lu Yanzhi was *her* Prince Consort. For the past two days, I’ve been hesitating about how to bring this up with you."
"As you know, if the Prince Consort wants to take a concubine, I can’t stop him. But how could my cousin from the Chen Family possibly become his concubine? I was worried it would put you in a difficult position. But now that I hear from you that my cousin is to become my sister-in-law, I can rest easy."
The Empress Dowager’s expression was absolutely foul, but Xiao Li’s words were so perfectly measured that she couldn’t find any grounds to scold her. She might even have to praise her for being so thoughtful.
Xiao Li had no desire to be praised by the Empress Dowager. Having planted her seeds of doubt, she quickly made her escape.
’As expected, Chen Pingting won’t be able to run around freely before becoming a concubine.’
’But the Emperor probably doesn’t want to take on such a concubine now either.’
’Tsk, tsk. Now there’s a good show to watch.’
* * *
The Emperor had originally intended to directly assign a hundred men to Xiao Li, but she insisted on choosing them herself.
Fortunately, it wasn’t a major issue, so the Emperor agreed. However, instead of letting her choose from the Imperial Army, he had her select from the Military Department.
The Military Department was in charge of all military forces in the Capital City. The Imperial Army, which guarded the Imperial Palace, was made up of elites chosen through rigorous screening from within the Military Department’s ranks.
It was a significant drop in quality.
Fortunately, Xiao Li hadn’t planned on picking from the Imperial Army anyway.
’What a joke. If not all of the Imperial Army, then at least eighty percent are loyal to the Emperor. The rest are probably spies planted by various families. I’d have to be an idiot to go pick a bunch of landmines for myself.’
While the Military Department didn’t have as many elites, the lower-ranking soldiers had clean backgrounds. And among those common soldiers, there was never a shortage of diamonds in the rough.
A princess picking her guards was considered a cushy, lucrative assignment. Vice General Liu of the Military Department received the order and had already selected a hundred men to wait for her.
"Princess, look. I have personally handpicked these hundred men. Every one of them is a brave warrior from our ranks, and they are absolutely capable of ensuring Your Highness’s safety."
Xiao Li glanced over. A hundred soldiers stood in neat rows, straight as ramrods with their heads high and chests out. Their spirits seemed decent enough.
But the next moment, she saw one scratching an itch, another shuffling his feet, and yet another who nearly fell over while just standing there.
Xiao Li casually grabbed a saber from a weapon rack, drew the blade and tossed it aside, keeping only the scabbard.
She walked past the men. Before she even did anything, one soldier saw her approach, his breath hitched, and his puffed-out chest instantly deflated. He gave a sheepish grin. "Princess."
Xiao Li smacked him with the scabbard. "You, go stand over there!"
Then, she swung the scabbard down toward the next man’s feet, knocking him sprawling to the ground.
Xiao Li: ’...This is too pathetic to watch.’
The soldier scrambled up, his face red. "Princess, I..."
Xiao Li just shot him a sidelong glance. "Am I supposed to extend a formal invitation?"
Xiao Li continued down the line, her strikes growing heavier each time. Although no one else fell, few could remain standing firm and straight. They were all a bunch of spineless weaklings just idling their days away.
She threw the scabbard down with a CLATTER.
"Vice General Liu, these are the men you chose for me?"
"There was an assassin in my Princess Mansion, which is why I’m increasing my guards. Did you pick these men hoping I’ll die so you can collect my corpse?"
Vice General Liu probably hadn’t expected the Princess to actually inspect the goods. He looked rather embarrassed. "They’ve just never seen a princess before and lost their composure for a moment. It doesn’t mean they aren’t capable. I will have them demonstrate their skills for you right away."
"That won’t be necessary."
’He’s clearly trying to fool me, thinking I’m just some ignorant princess.’
Xiao Li swung herself onto a horse and rode deeper into the military camp.
’Honestly, the environment in this military camp is terrible. Even though this is the Capital City’s Military Department, it’s barely passable.’
’The ground is packed earth, the men all reek of stale sweat, and there are all sorts of other strange smells.’
A beautiful young woman on horseback arriving here was no different from a drop of water falling into a sizzling wok of oil. It quickly caused a commotion.
But the thirty guards led by Yang Jun were not just for show, and with Vice General Liu personally accompanying her, the soldiers didn’t dare to act out of line.
Besides, Xiao Li was dressed in fine brocade with gold and jade hairpins. One look was enough to tell she was no ordinary person.
The procession moved slowly past, and all kinds of gazes landed on Xiao Li: appraising, questioning, lustful, lazy, and numb.
’What a cesspool!’
The current Emperor did not value martial pursuits, but by a stroke of luck, the generals at the border were competent, and they had managed to prevent foreign enemies from putting too much pressure on domestic affairs.
Too many days of peace and comfort had made the men idle.
The men of this Military Department hadn’t stretched their muscles in years; they probably wouldn’t even know what to do if they were holding a saber.
’This is not the kind of guard I’m looking for.’
"NEIGH!"
Xiao Li yanked hard on the reins. The horse, in pain, reared up on its hind legs, and its piercing neigh made everyone snap their heads in her direction.
The horse came down hard. Xiao Li spurred it to turn toward a high platform to the side. She took a deep breath and announced in a loud voice, "I am Princess Xuanyang! Today, I shall select one hundred brave warriors to serve as my guards. All those with a clean family background may participate! Those who are chosen will be rewarded with ten taels of silver, ten dan of grain, and double their monthly salary!"
Great rewards bring forth brave men.
In an instant, the stagnant water came to life.
"Princess, pick me, pick me!"
"Princess, I’m super strong."
"Princess, pick me! I’m stronger than him! I can lift two men!"
"Me, me, me... pick me! I know Sword Skill..."
"Who doesn’t know Sword Skill? I can even use a spear! Princess, pick me!!"