Chapter 84: In the End, She Won’t Be the One Who’s Afraid
Xiao Li had forgotten why she ended up in Xiao Xuanyang’s body. At first, she thought she was having a nightmare.
It must have been a few days after the original owner of the body had been defiled. Her emotions were a wreck. She was always bathing, scrubbing her body relentlessly, not stopping even when she drew blood.
She roughly understood what had happened. She felt the original owner shouldn’t have abused herself like this. ’What’s this bullshit about purity? Is it more important than your own life?’
But she couldn’t speak, and the original owner couldn’t feel her presence.
On the contrary, she could feel all of the original owner’s emotions, and even her physical pain.
As time went on, she could no longer deceive herself into thinking it was just a nightmare. Perhaps she had encountered some kind of uncontrollable supernatural event.
In the beginning, she just watched everything with indifference. Though she sympathized with the original owner, she truly despised her actions.
Her own emotions had always been very muted. A past filled with helpless suffering had left her with an emotional disorder. She had never loved anyone—she loved no one but herself—nor had she ever hated anyone.
She didn’t even hate the Xiao Family. She could watch Mrs. Xiao die a miserable death without feeling hatred, nor any particular satisfaction.
Even something as terrifying as suddenly arriving in a strange place and being trapped in someone else’s body elicited more curiosity from her than fear.
But she was cursed to feel the original owner’s emotions, feelings that did not belong to her.
Disgust, panic, nausea, fear, pain—all these emotions came crashing down on her, overwhelming her completely.
In that moment, it was as if the barrier of her emotional disorder had been shattered.
At first, she could still resist with her willpower, but the feelings seemed to cling to her very soul, impossible to drive out or uproot. As time passed, everything spiraled toward an irreversible end.
She began to feel the same pain, the same suffering, the same despair as the original owner, until they descended into madness together.
Even though she couldn’t control the body, she could no longer tell if the despair and pain belonged to the original owner or to herself.
Finally, they went completely insane. And in the end, they died.
She thought she was free, but she never expected everything to start over. She had caught a glimpse of this world’s secret—it was all a story’s plot.
She finally gained control of the body, and she wanted to leave this world.
She used every scheme she could muster, willing to do anything to kill the protagonists.
’If the protagonists die, the plot should disappear, and then I should be able to leave.’
She didn’t know why she had to go through all this, why she had been brought to this place.
She wasn’t a good person, but even if someone deserved retribution, it shouldn’t have been her.
She also didn’t know what kind of power had brought her to this bizarre place, but she was certain it was a force that wealth and weapons could not compare to.
’Killing Lu Yanzhi and Liu Xueyin wasn’t enough to let me leave, so who else do I have to kill? Prince Chen? The Emperor? Or do I have to kill every single person in this world?’
Xiao Li felt like she was turning into a mass murderer.
Was this really the way for her to leave this world, or was something trying to force her into becoming a crazed demon?
She didn’t want to be a pawn on someone else’s chessboard anymore. So... she was done playing.
’If my life is fated to be controlled by others, I would rather die!’
She... was done playing...
Dying didn’t matter. If death meant she could go back, that would be for the best.
If she died only to be trapped back in the original owner’s body, there was nothing she could do... At worst, she’d descend into madness and become a complete lunatic.
A suicidal lunatic who couldn’t die and had the power to wreak havoc everywhere... In the end, she wouldn’t be the one who was afraid.
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"Princess, be careful."
Hong Yue hurriedly stepped forward to grab the Princess, her face etched with worry, her heart filled with melancholy.
A month ago, the Princess had suddenly used an imperial decree to divorce the Prince Consort and then killed him. After returning, she fell into a coma.
She remained unconscious for a full month. The Imperial Physicians were helpless, and even Cen An, the successor to the Divine Doctor, was at a loss.
They had thought the Princess contracted some strange illness, but unexpectedly, she woke up on her own three days ago.
Although she seemed physically fine, she was always spacing out.
Everyone was saying the Princess was traumatized by the Prince Consort’s death. They said she had been madly in love with him but was betrayed. Though she had been ruthless enough to kill him, she must have still loved him at heart.
Hong Yue felt this explanation wasn’t very reliable. After all, she truly hadn’t sensed any remaining love from the Princess towards the Prince Consort. But since she couldn’t articulate why, she could only order the other servants to hold their tongues. She and Lan Yue stuck to the Princess’s side, never leaving her for a moment, afraid she might fall in a moment of carelessness.
"Imperial Sister..."
A young man’s voice called out. Hong Yue turned around. "Your Highness, Prince Wei."
Xiao Jingyi walked over to Xiao Li’s side. He observed her for a moment before asking Hong Yue, "Is she spacing out again?"
Hong Yue nodded.
"Have the Imperial Physicians been here today?"
"They have. They prescribed a new formula, but the Princess refuses to drink it."
Xiao Jingyi frowned. "How can she possibly recover if she won’t take her medicine?"
Xiao Li snapped out of her daze. "I said, could you two not discuss me right in front of my face?"
The two looked over in pleasant surprise, their voices overlapping. "Princess! Imperial Sister! You’re awake?"
Xiao Li: "..." ’I was just spacing out, not asleep.’
She glanced at Xiao Jingyi. "What are you doing here?"
Xiao Jingyi replied, "I just wanted to come see you. Our brother, the Emperor, was just asking about you."
Xiao Li grabbed a handful of fish food and tossed it into the nearby pond. A school of plump fish swarmed over to snatch it up.
"Well, you’ve seen me now."
Completely oblivious to being shooed away, Xiao Jingyi eagerly sat down next to her. "I’m free now. Imperial Sister, do you want to go out and have some fun? Hunting, mountain climbing, or watching a play—we can do anything."
Xiao Li had no interest. Everything this world had to offer was something she’d already grown tired of.
Seeing that Xiao Li wasn’t interested in that topic, Xiao Jingyi immediately switched to another.
"Gao Lan is dead."
As expected, the Emperor had a moment of weakness. He displayed his benevolence as a king and only sentenced the Lu family to exile.
Aside from Lu Cang, who died from his severe injuries, and Lu Yanzhi, who died at Xiao Li’s hands, the rest of them left the capital alive.
Although Gao Lan had received treatment from a doctor, the arduous journey into exile worsened her injuries, and she ultimately didn’t survive.
’But what does that have to do with me?’
"If you came here just to spout nonsense, then you can get lost."
’Do I care if Gao Lan lives or dies? What does it matter to me who in the Lu family dies?’
Xiao Jingyi was helpless. His Imperial Sister was a conversational black hole.
’She won’t talk about the Lu Family, doesn’t care about matters in the palace, and doesn’t want to go out. She just sits there spacing out. What’s gotten into her?’
’Where did the shrewd, calculating, vibrant Imperial Sister from before go? Did she disappear along with Lu Yanzhi’s death?’
’Did she really love Lu Yanzhi that much?’
Of course, he didn’t dare ask that question. His intuition told him that asking would be futile.
"Princess."
A slender figure approached, carrying a bowl of medicine, head bowed respectfully. "Princess, it is time to take your medicine."
The voice was androgynous and particularly pleasant to the ear. Xiao Jingyi couldn’t help but look over, and he was surprised when he recognized the person.
"You’re still keeping him around?"
It was none other than the actor from before, Shuang Han. He was still dressed as an actor but seemed to be doing the work of a maid.
Xiao Li didn’t even lift her eyes. Hong Yue, resigned, shooed him away. "The Princess isn’t drinking. Take it away."
Xiao Jingyi wanted to say a few words of persuasion, but in the end, he knew better and chose to shut his mouth. Fine, he couldn’t convince her anyway.