SMASH or PASS

[SMASH OR PASS SYSTEM ACTIVATED]

[Welcome, Host.]

[Initializing tutorial...]

Eh?

Huh?

What?

Eeeeeh!?

Is this what I think it is? Have I finally been blessed with the-

I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and a woman behind me nearly walked into my back. She sidestepped with a huff and saw I was male and her huff turned into an apologetic smile.

I ignored her and focused on the tap in front of me.

’How does this system work...?’

[This system allows the Host to acquire and store female targets through the SMASH function.]

"...What?"

I really didn’t know what to say.

’How does it work specifically?’

[The system contains three main functions.]

[SMASH: Acquire target into inventory. Costs SP (Smash Points)]

[PASS: Permanently decline target. No cost. Irreversible.]

[SMASH Points: SP can be earned through combat and quests, but mainly through encounters with females.]

[Current SP: 0]

I read it again and again but the words didn’t change. It really said acquire and store female targets, and the currency was called Smash Points.

"So basically just like Pokémon but with... women?"

[Yes. Just like Pokémon but with women.]

I see...

Well, I wasn’t going to decline, I’m happy that I got anything at all.

[Tutorial will begin with first available target.]

[Scanning...]

[Target detected.]

My eyes were still on the same crowded street and the same market stalls with the same sea of women, but something behind them locked onto a specific figure about three blocks away walking with two attendants and a sapphire pendant catching the light.

[SMASH / PASS]

[Target: Helena Vellmont]

[Tier: Uncommon]

[Species: Human]

[Rank: 1st]

[SP Cost: 20]

[Status: NEW]

[Passive Bonus: +2 Stamina Recovery]

Helena was the Baron’s daughter and the woman who had been grabbing my arm and harassing me for a month, and now the system had put a price tag on her.

I don’t hate this... too much.

’She cost twenty SP... but I have zero.’

"...Huh."

I stood there for about fifteen seconds while the crowd moved around me and the system waited, and Helena’s data just sat at the edge of my head and wouldn’t go away. I wasn’t going to press either option until I understood what I was dealing with.

I started walking again because the guild was two blocks away.

Tutorial messages kept dropping into my head one after another as I walked.

[TUTORIAL: INVENTORY]

[Acquired female targets are stored in a personal dimensional space.]

[Stored targets experience zero subjective time.]

[Targets can be summoned at will within a 10-meter radius.]

[Summoned targets provide passive stat bonuses while stored.]

[Summoning costs 1 SP/hour maintenance.]

So I had dimensional storage too?

I read each line while stepping over a gutter puddle and dodging a catkin with a handcart full of potatoes.

Then the prompts started. A woman with pink hair brushed past me on the sidewalk who was mid-thirties and carrying a basket of vegetables.

The system fired instantly.

[SMASH / PASS]

[Target: Smith’s daughter]

[Tier: Common]

[SP Cost: 8]

Then it fired on another woman, a catkin with orange ears crossing the street.

[SMASH / PASS]

[Target: Unknown]

[Tier: Common]

[SP Cost: 6]

Then it happened again and again with every woman I passed and every woman in my field of vision, prompts stacking on top of prompts.

[Target: Unknown]

[Tier: Common]

[SP Cost: 2]

[Target: Unknown]

[Tier: Common]

[SP Cost: 4]

[Target: Unknown]

[Tier: Common]

[SP Cost: 5]

My head filled with numbers because every single person on the street had a floating price tag on them now.

"Okay... I get it... I guess."

I sighed.

"Everyone is a target. Can you dial it back now?"

[Prompts can be minimized. Focus on dismissal.]

I focused and the prompts shrank down to a quiet hum that I could ignore if I tried.

"Better."

Then one more tutorial block came in.

[TUTORIAL — SP ACQUISITION]

[SP is earned through:]

[Combat (variable by opponent tier)]

[Quest completion (variable by quest rank)]

[Breeding contracts (5-15 SP per session)]

[Ambient magical saturation (1 SP/hour in high-magic zones)]

[Rank-up breakthroughs (100-500 SP bonus)]

Breeding contracts and combat and quests were exactly the things I was already planning to do at the guild, so every quest I took and every fight I won and every breeding contract I completed would feed this thing points.

"So... everything I was going to do anyway gives me points, and the points let me collect women, and collecting women makes me stronger."

I thought about that for two seconds.

"That’s broken."

I guess being in this world wasn’t so bad after all?

With a smile on my face, I walked into the Bronze Ledger.

***

The guild hall matched the Isekai webnovels I used to read, at least for the first ten seconds.

Stone walls and brass fixtures sat under a high ceiling with exposed beams, and the place was packed enough that it smelled of leather and metal and too many bodies in a room built for fewer.

Quest boards covered the far wall with dozens of postings pinned in overlapping layers, and a counter ran along the left side with numbered windows and a clerk at each one.

Every person in the room was female. Adventurers in mismatched armor compared quest postings, clerks processed paperwork, and a group near the door argued about the fine print on a contract. The only concession to my existence was a small sign above window three that said "MALE APPLICANTS."

Window three had no line while every other window ran twenty people deep.

I walked over. The clerk was a young catkin around my age with tawny ears and a tail that held a second stack of forms behind her while her hands worked through the first. She looked up when I approached and her ears rotated forward and her pupils went round for exactly one second before she caught herself.

"...Can I help you?"

"I’d like to register."

She pulled a form from the pile then her tail dropped the second stack to start fiddling with a pen instead. "Name?"

"Noel."

"Family name?"

"None. Ward of House Vellmont."

She wrote that down. "Combat experience?"

"Basic."

"Mana assessment?"

"...Low."

She looked up from the form. "How low?"

"The lowest you’ve seen, probably."

She stared at me for a moment, then shrugged and wrote something down. "We get all types. Physical assessment is down the hall if you want to skip the mana eval entirely. Most of our male registrants go that route."

The system fired.

[SMASH / PASS]

[Target: Yenna (Guild Receptionist)]

[Tier: Common]

[Species: Feral/Catkin]

[Rank: 1st]

[SP Cost: 7]

[Passive Bonus: +1 Agility]

Seven points for the girl behind the counter.

I took the form. "Thanks."

She held onto it for a beat too long and smiled at me with her tail swaying behind her. "Good luck out there."

I turned toward the quest boards.

The quest board was organized by category with combat contracts on the left, delivery and miscellaneous in the middle, and something else entirely on the right.

I read the headings and then the postings.

’Eeeh?’

I read them again because I thought I was misunderstanding something.

[COMBAT CONTRACTS (Copper Rank)]

[Rat Extermination: Warehouse District.

Pay: 5 silver.

Danger: Low.]

[Pest Control: Upper Market beetle infestation.

Pay: 3 silver.

Danger: Low.]

Those were normal, but the ones on the right on the other hand were...

[BREEDING CONTRACTS (Copper Rank — Males Only)]

I gulped.

[Breeding Contract: Cowkin Commune, Greenveil Pasture 7.

Duration: 3 days.

Compensation: 2 gold.

Requirements: Male, age 18-40, health certification current.]

[Breeding Contract: Catkin residential, Patchwork District.

Duration: 2 days.

Compensation: 1.5 gold.]

[Breeding Contract: Rabbitkin commune, East Quarter.

Duration: 1 day.

Compensation: 80 silver.]

[Breeding Contract: Lamia Border Settlement.

Duration: 1 week.

Compensation: 5 gold.

WARNING: Lamia mating involves full-body coiling. Participants with claustrophobia need not apply.]

I read the lamia one twice.

"Full... body coiling?"

I read it a third time because that warning line deserved the attention.

"Participants with claustrophobia need not apply."

Look, I came from Earth and I thought the internet had already shown me everything.

But reading a government sanctioned adventurer’s guild quest board that listed "fuck this cowgirl for three days" next to "kill these rats" with the same bureaucratic formatting... that was new.

The pay difference was the kicker.

Rat extermination paid 5 silver and cowgirl breeding paid 2 gold, and since 1 gold was 100 silver, that meant killing rats in a dark warehouse earned you 5 silver while having sex with a cowkin for three days earned you 200.

That was forty times more for the same Copper rank requirement.

TL;DR: Whoring myself out will make me very rich.

The system chimed in too.

[BREEDING CONTRACT BONUS]

[Breeding contracts award 5-15 SP per session in addition to standard monetary compensation.]

[Breeding contracts with Covenant Race targets may trigger SMASH opportunities during sessions.]

So a single quest paid out SP and gold at the same time.

I pulled the Greenveil Pasture posting off the board because two gold and a week’s worth of SP for three days on a farm was the obvious first pick.

I’d need a health certification first, and the clerk had mentioned a medical ward.

"Where’s the medical ward?"

Yenna pointed down a corridor.

"Left at the end. Ask for the combat medic on duty."

I headed down the corridor and the system settled into the back of my head.