Chapter 27
They are my protectors now, I thought. It would be stupid for Grayson to attack four wolves at once. He was powerful but he couldn’t possibly take all of them on. Julien had told me he’d seen Grayson in some war where he had done just that, however.
Having Julien claim me would bring Grayson’s wrath down and I couldn’t be certain they would survive. Julien wouldn’t have been nervous about telling me the idea if they weren’t thinking the same thing.
Even if they did succeed in stopping him, who knows how many of them would get hurt or killed in the process. They tried to kill him while he was tied to a damn tree and he still managed to escape. It was too dangerous for Julien to be at the center of Grayson’s murderous rage.
"Marek," I finally spoke. The men had been watching me carefully as I thought.
"He’s the strongest, just as large. He’ll have the best shot at surviving if Grayson attacks." They looked at each other questioningly.
"You know the bond works both ways," Dominic started slowly. "Whoever you’re bound to will make you want them in the same way I’m sure you feel for Grayson."
I thought about the constant pull to be with him, the impulses to protect him and go to him even in times when I shouldn’t. I also thought of the desire. The force between us making me open myself to him despite hating him at the same time.
Could I fight those feelings for Marek when he was so much nicer than Grayson? It’s been weeks since I’d seen Grayson and still, I wanted to run to him and abandon this pack. Choosing Julien would only make the feelings I already have stronger, maybe even strong enough to let go of Grayson.
"Julien, I choose Julien." I told them, changing my mind with a sigh of nervous apprehension.
They seemed relieved, Julien undoubtedly wanting me to choose him and Marek not wanting the responsibility of fighting the bond while watching me with Julien. It was the best choice without having to return to Grayson. I just hoped Julien would survive.
"So, how do we do it?"
"We’ll perform the Binding Rite tonight, just before the moon is at it’s highest," Dominic told me and I nodded.
It would be the same as the first time, only now I wanted it and wanted him. Julien reached his hand out to me with a smile. I took his hand in mine, fighting back the fear that sat in the back of my throat. The fear for him.
The day was slow moving. Every one of us tiptoed around each other, nervous about setting anyone off. I wondered if it was like this every month or if my presence made things extra tense. The draw towards Grayson was growing stronger as the day continued on, making me sweat and become restless.
Lunch was prepared and served, only cooked meat today, and they ate with an animalistic fury. I felt their growls even in the silence, their hidden nature itching through their human skin.
Afterwards, Julien took us to the bunkhouse to escape the stress in the air. Our room wasn’t very much better, the hot and humid air collecting in the space to make it more muggy without the gentle breeze from outside.
We sat on my bed together while I rubbed my mother’s locket between my fingers. Julien tried to speak but the message failed to fall from his lips and I wondered if he was worried about his words or just didn’t know what to say.
He tapped his foot on the ground anxiously and I placed my hand on his knee to calm the shaking. I had expected him to say what was on his mind but instead, he reached his hand to my face and drew me into him.
He kissed me in a desperate way. A need for me that was different from Grayson’s. Grayson’s need was brutal, forced. Julien’s was afraid, like he was trying to explain every worry and every feeling he held for me in the movement of his mouth on mine.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and we fell backwards onto the mattress behind us. His lips moved to my cheeks, then my neck, and back to my mouth. His hands were gentle as they gripped the back of my neck, my waist, my upper thighs.
Heat rose between my legs and I wrapped a leg around his back. His fingers found the edge of my jeans, unhooking the button and pulling down the zipper. I gasped at his intentions. It had happened so fast, yet I ready for him to take me.
I didn’t care if the looming full moon was making him more lustful than normal, I didn’t care if the pack tension or our plan to bond was making him not think straight. I didn’t even care if the others could hear us as I moaned under his touch.
I wanted this and I wanted him. His palm wrapped around my hips, pulling my pants and underwear down with it. His fingers felt so smooth and warm against my skin. His mouth pulled away from mine for only a moment.
"Is this ok?" He asked between his heavy breathing.
I nodded furiously, closing my eyes and pulling his mouth back on mine. I was ready for him. The moment may not be perfect but he was. I loved him and wanted him to be my first.
His hand was still wrapped around my hips with my pants bunched up halfway down my ass. His thumb swept down the crook between my leg and mound. I whimpered at the feeling, a heartbeat in my private calling out for his touch.
He moved his fingers slowly, taking his time as he savoured my small noises at every movement. When the tips of his fingers finally made contact with me, an eruption of satisfaction mixed together with a need for more. His hand was hot against me and I could feel the wetness glide easily at the sensation.
He began rubbing slowly, methodic circular movements. A rising and all-consuming feeling built inside me. It deafened my ears and tightened my chest. I pulsated beneath his touch, arching my back while I moaned out.
The building feeling began to reach its peak. He took a single finger and slid it inside of me, pushing me over the edge. I cried out as my whole body became undone. I vibrated and shivered as I reached euphoria. He continued moving his finger in and out, stretching the feeling to the point of pleasurable pain.
I grabbed at his shoulders, whimpering and moaning. I fell back into the bed and he pulled his fingers away.
We both were breathing shallow and heated breaths. The moment we shared was greater than anything I could have imagined and I wanted more.
My fingers blindly reached for his pants where I could already feel the bulk of his erection pressing against me. He stopped me.
"Not yet," he panted. "Tonight, after the ceremony." Then he kissed me again before rolling beside me and concentrated on controlling his breathing.
Tonight, I thought and an excitement grew. I would be bound to him and we would willingly take each other. I closed my eyes, pushing the thoughts aside so my own breathing would calm and the throbbing moisture between my legs would ease.
Once we were both presentable enough, we rejoined the pack outside. If what we had just done was obvious, the others didn’t show it. Tension had lightened slightly and I bounced in each step at the delight of what Julien and I had shared and what we would share more of tonight.
It was afternoon time now and prep work was busy at the hands of the rogues. They kept themselves as occupied as possible while passing the time until nightfall.
A pressure was in the air, a build similar to the feeling I had in the bedroom with Julien. Perhaps a storm was on its way, though I couldn’t tell through the trees. Or maybe it was the coming night’s event. Like the universe knew what would happen before we did.
I buzzed about, keeping myself occupied while sharing smiles and flirtatious looks with Julien. When the afternoon finally turned from day into evening, we prepared dinner and settled around the fire like we would any other night.
Tonight’s dinner was a feast. Small amounts of every choice we had on the island, displayed on wooden tables in wooden bowls. The men loaded their bowls and went back for seconds and thirds, their hunger never satiated.
When we sat to relax by the fire together, Marek pulled out a flute. Jax had made it for him, special for tonight. I hadn’t known he could play and the music filled the air with a lovely melody that blended with the snaps of firewood in a beautiful harmony.
I leaned back on my palms where I sat on the bench. Everything was quiet beside Marek’s melodies and the crackling fire that warmed my legs through my jeans. I took a deep breath in and sighed at the enjoyable evening. The sun was only beginning to set, the moon hadn’t yet risen.
At this moment, I was without worry. The fear over their turning was lessened by the thought of protection from the Lunar Laws. Everything, for the first time, felt like it was going to be ok. I would be bound to Julien and free from Grayson. I could stay happily with this pack and continue to explore my relationship and my sexuality with the man I now realized I loved.
Another feeling caught my attention. Only a thought at first, nagging at the back of my mind like a dream I couldn’t remember. I sat up in my seat, waiting for the sensation to surface. It was something I knew, something I’d felt several times before.
The others became alert to my concentration and Marek paused his playing. I was quiet and they waited while I followed what was thumping inside my chest. Panic ascended over me as I became strikingly aware of what the feeling was.
Eyes surrounding me from every direction, condensation on the back of my neck from heated breath, yellow eyes glowing behind my eyelids where they had tattooed themselves the first day I had met him.
Grayson was here.