Chapter 347: "I Am Willing, It’s Me
Through her blurry vision, a small hand reached out.
It wasn’t so much catching teardrops as it was catching pearls he considered priceless.
Ji Qingwu’s tears fell faster and faster, threatening to fill Yuan Heng’s small palm.
Yuan Heng switched to cupping both hands together to catch them, panic and distress plain on his little face.
Ji Qingwu tried desperately to hold back, but she couldn’t stop her nose from tingling and her eyes from stinging. Tears spilled from her eyes, and her slender shoulders trembled gently.
In his anxiety, Yuan Heng rose up until his small shoulders broke the surface of the water.
Ignoring that he was still dripping wet, Yuan Heng reached up to touch Ji Qingwu’s face. The palm of his small hand felt feverishly warm.
"Don’t cry."
Ji Qingwu nodded silently, but her tears still fell like pearls from a broken string.
Yuan Heng felt their warmth on his hands, and his voice softened.
"Letting someone you cherish cry is a sign of weakness. I just said I’m not inferior to anyone else. Are you trying to make me a weak person?"
Yuan Heng masterfully appealed to both emotion and reason.
Ji Qingwu sniffled and quickly grabbed a nearby towel, pressing it to her eyes. When she looked up again, her eyes were as red as a rabbit’s.
’To need a little one to comfort me at a time like this... I’m really useless.’
Scolding herself inwardly, Ji Qingwu pinched her palm hard. Her voice was hoarse as she looked into Yuan Heng’s dark eyes.
Her lips parted. "I’m..."
Standing in the tub, Yuan Heng looked back at her and beat her to it. "You’re my mother."
The little one carefully confirmed, "The same blood as yours flows in my veins, and in Jiu Jiu’s too. You are our mother."
Ji Qingwu nodded solemnly.
Yuan Heng seemed to let out a sigh of relief and nodded. "Good."
’This was the best he could have hoped for. Jiu Jiu wasn’t General Wei’s child, as the General had claimed.’
Ji Qingwu was astonished by the boy’s perceptiveness, but what filled her chest more was a sharp pang of heartache.
She took his hand, about to say something, when she felt that his small arm was ice-cold. The bathwater had gone cold.
Ji Qingwu said quickly, "The water’s cold. Come out now."
Yuan Heng always used cold water for his baths in the summer, so he didn’t find it chilly. He wanted to spend a little more time alone with her and was about to refuse when he heard her soft voice, still thick from crying.
"How about we get you dried off, and then we can talk in bed?"
Ji Qingwu gently swayed his arm, and the motion made him want to go to the bed that carried her scent right that instant.
Yuan Heng pressed his small lips together and nodded shyly.
With his consent, Ji Qingwu dried the little one with a soft cotton cloth. Yuan Heng’s small bundle of clothes was still in the outer room, so she simply pulled out one of her own light-pink inner robes, wrapped him in it, and carried him out of the bathing chamber.
Yuan Heng rested his head obediently on her shoulder, and as she walked, he secretly nestled his small face into the crook of her neck.
Completely enveloped in his mother’s scent, Yuan Heng’s eyes shone with excitement.
Ji Qingwu tucked him into the brocade quilt, pulling the corners snugly around him. She was about to go to the outer room to find clean underclothes for Yuan Heng to change into.
But his small hand clutched her tightly, refusing to let go.
Ji Qingwu asked gently, "How about I go get you some clothes?"
Yuan Heng thought there were no clothes better than what he was wearing now. The fabric was soft and smooth, and it smelled wonderful.
He refused decisively. "No."
He even pulled her dress tighter.
Gazing into his stubborn, insistent dark eyes, Ji Qingwu’s lips curved into a smile. She took off her outer robe, lifted the covers, and lay down beside him.
Once she was actually lying beside Yuan Heng, he suddenly became reserved. Under the quilt, he was a small, still lump, not daring to move, but his dark eyes twinkled like the brightest little stars in the night sky.
Ji Qingwu slowly reached out, wanting to gather the little one into her arms.
Sensing her cautiousness, Yuan Heng pretended to casually roll over. Just like that, Ji Qingwu had the small, furnace-warm boy in a full embrace.
This time, the smiles curving the mother and son’s lips were identical.
Yuan Heng no longer held back, saying magnanimously, "You’ve already seen me naked, so a hug is nothing. If you want to hug me, go ahead."
At his words, Ji Qingwu’s smile widened. She gently stroked his back and called his name.
"Yuan Heng."
Yuan Heng’s little heart, which had just calmed down, began to race once more.
The little one wasn’t awkward in the slightest.
He replied, "Mother."
Ji Qingwu took a deep breath and hugged Yuan Heng tighter, as if trying to merge the little one back into her very flesh and blood.
In a voice both soft and hoarse, she said, "I’m sorry... and thank you."
’Is she sorry for leaving me behind?’ Yuan Heng blinked.
"I’ve never blamed you, Mother. Because nothing is better than the fact that you’re alive."
For as long as he could remember, it was rumored both inside and outside the Imperial Palace that his birth mother had died long ago.
When he was even younger, he had run into Emperor Wu Su’s bedchambers on a thundery night to ask who his mother was, and why he had never even seen a portrait of her.
Yuan Heng remembered it clearly. It had been late at night, but Emperor Wu Su was still awake. Upon hearing him ask about his mother, the Emperor’s expression had instantly become darker than the stormy sky outside.
Even then, he understood that regardless of whether his birth mother was still alive, she was certainly someone his Imperial Father disliked.
The less he knew, he reasoned, the safer his birth mother might be.
When Ji Qingwu had appeared in the Imperial Palace, she had pulled at his clothes by the shore of Taiye Lake, as if looking for something.
The signs had been there all along.
Yuan Heng couldn’t comprehend the complex emotions between adults that led to this moment.
But he knew one thing: if you loved someone, you wouldn’t just stand by and watch them marry another person.
Yuan Heng recalled his mother’s words of thanks, snuggled his head against her, and asked curiously, "What are you thanking me for?"
Ji Qingwu gently patted his back, her lashes lowered. "Thank you, my Heng’er," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "For taking such good care of yourself while I was gone, for growing up so well. You’re already a remarkable little man."
Yuan Heng puffed out his little chest. "We’re family. There’s no need to say thank you."
The more sensible the little one was, the more Ji Qingwu’s heart ached.
"I didn’t mean to leave you behind back then."
The childbirth system’s mission was to bear an heir for General Dingbei to ensure his line would continue. If she had taken the male infant with her, the mission would have been considered incomplete.
Leaving one child and taking the other... Who could have predicted she would give birth to twins? It was the safest course of action for her.
Jiu Jiu had endured a hard life on the road with her, and was even mocked for being a fatherless bastard.
Yuan Heng grew up in the Imperial Palace. Though his status seemed noble, he still had to face all sorts of schemes, both overt and covert. Princess Consort Wei had raised him only to secure her own position in the palace.
A fresh sheen of tears filmed Ji Qingwu’s eyes.
The little one tilted his head up from within her embrace.
He said solemnly, "If, between me and Jiu Jiu, one of us had to live in this Imperial Palace..."
"Then I’m glad it was me."