Chapter 111: Unhinged thoughts
Everything was prepared with practiced precision. Vaeron returned naturally to his seat, while Lucrezia still watched the scene quietly, almost slightly stunned by the efficiency of the servants.
Then a sudden realization struck her. The moment she realized the bath was for her, her entire body stiffened. As if she was not already mortified enough, Vaeron remained seated, watching her closely. There was this look in his eyes that seemed entirely different that made heat creep beneath her skin despite the chill knotting inside her chest. It almost felt as though he were waiting for the exact moment she unraveled completely.
The thought made panic flare instantly through her. Surely she was imagining it, or perhaps overthinking it.
She had to be.
Yet the longer his gaze lingered on her, the more exposed she felt beneath it, like a prey caught beneath the attention of something patient. Her fingers tightened unconsciously around the blankets gathered against her chest as she turned her face away.
The servants continued preparing the bathing chamber in complete silence, moving with graceful precision as steam curled softly into the room. One arranged folded towels while another poured fragrant oils into the water. Their movements were smooth and almost reverent.
All of a sudden, a voice brushed against her mind without warning, ’The mortal looks ready to faint simply from being tended to’ and Lucrezia froze at once.
Her eyes darted sharply toward the servant nearest the bath, but the woman’s expression remained perfectly composed, head slightly lowered as she worked. W-What was that?
’Fragile thing,’ Another voice followed almost immediately. ’They bleed, cry, and shatter over everything. It’s no wonder they barely live long enough to witness another generation,’
Her breath caught. No one had spoken out aloud as everyone remained deeply routed in their task, one way or the other.
The realization struck so suddenly it made her stomach twist. These were thoughts. She was hearing their thoughts.
The room suddenly felt too small, and too loud at the same time. It was happening again.
’How unfortunate that Lord Vaeron bothers himself with a mortal at all,’ Another condemned as well. ’She’s only but a Punishment,’
A servant carrying fresh cloths glanced briefly toward Lucrezia before lowering his gaze again. ’I agree. Punishments doesn’t deserve this treatment. She should be grateful our kind touch her at all,’
’Do you think he fancies the mortal?’ Another unhinged thought followed after.
’He’s Lust. Of course he fancies everyone. The mortal shouldn’t be an exception though she’s a Punishment,’
Lucrezia forgot how to breathe. The slight movement caused eyes flickering to her direction, only to return to the task as though nothing happened.
’Tsk, their kind worships scraps of attention from beings like us, yet she recoils as though offended by the honor,’ Another thought slipped through, colder this time.
Heat rushed violently into Lucrezia’s face, as humiliation curled sharply beneath her ribs instead. Her pulse quickened as more fragmented thoughts drifted toward her, some amused, some disdainful, all carrying that same underlying arrogance that reminded her exactly what she was in this place.
A temporary mortal. A lesser one, to be precise. Punishment.
She swallowed hard, the lump like a rock placed inside her stomach. And suddenly, the idea of their hands touching her skin felt unbearable because now she knew what sat behind their careful expressions.
The realization hurt more than it should have. That was the frustrating part. Lucrezia spent most of her life swallowing discomfort quietly, convincing herself she was foolish for feeling wounded by things others considered insignificant. But now, hearing those thoughts stripped bare for herself, she could no longer pretend she imagined the disdain.
Her fingers tightened further around the blankets as her throat suddenly felt tight. She did not want them touching her anymore.
"Milady," One of the servants said gently as she approached the bedside, hands extending toward the blankets wrapped around Lucrezia. "Allow us to assist you."
The words were polite, and respectful even but Lucrezia could still hear the woman’s thoughts beneath them.
’Delicate mortal. She trembles as though our touch is not a privilege enough.’
Her stomach twisted sharply.
Another servant stepped closer with folded cloths in hand, ’At least she is pretty enough to justify the Lord’s fascination’.
Lucrezia’s breath caught, and her eyes unconsciously found his. Those gaze remained fixed on hers, unreadable as ever, totally unaware of the vile comments.
Wait, she thought. Was he simply going to sit there while they undressed her?
The thought of it caused heat flooding violently into her face. Absolutely not.
"No," Lucrezia said immediately, clutching the blankets tighter around herself. "N-No. They... they can leave."
She said, but not a single servant reacted to her words. It was as though no regard was made to her soft command.
Vaeron remained unmoved in his chair but he raised a brow faintly, "You require assistance,"
"I require privacy, milord," She corrected.
For a moment, he stared at her without a word, as though weighing her words carefully. "You are in no condition to manage alone."
"I would rather struggle than have an audience," Lucrezia insisted.
At that, a few servants exchanged quick glances before immediately lowering their eyes again.
Vaeron merely watched her with that same unbearable calm. "No one here cares what you look like beneath bloodied bandages, little wolf,"
At that point, his words proved her point, but in a totally different way. "Well, I care."
He simply scoffed. "And yet your wounds remain indifferent to your pride,"
Lucrezia glared at him fiercely. "You cannot expect me to calmly allow strangers to undress me."
"Undress you?" There was the faintest trace of amusement in his voice now. "You say that as though they intend to parade you through the corridors."
Her cheeks burned hotter at the humiliation he evoked that only seemed to justify every single vile thoughts of theirs. One moment, he was... different... in a good way, and the next, he was back to being the creature she loathe.
"I said no."
"And I heard you."
"Then why are they still here?"
"Because your refusal changes nothing," he simply responded.
Lucrezia tried pushing herself higher against the pillows out of pure stubbornness, only for pain to slice sharply through her ribs. A quiet sound escaped her before she could stop it.
Vaeron’s expression darkened instantly. "There," he said. "That is what I mean,"
She hated that he always noticed. "I can still manage," She muttered through clenched teeth.
"You can barely breathe without reopening something."
"At least, I am not helpless."
"No," he agreed calmly. "Just injured enough to require assistance you are too proud to accept."
Lucrezia looked away sharply, jaw tightening because the worst part was that he was right.
Even sitting upright felt exhausting. The thought of climbing into that bath alone suddenly seemed impossible, and she despised the helplessness curling bitterly inside her chest.
But still—
"I do not want them touching me," She admitted quietly after a long silence.
The room stilled slightly at her words. Despite the request being calm, there was something sharp and final woven beneath it that seemed to exchange glances in the room.
Vaeron’s gaze remained fixed on her for a moment, long enough that drew uneasiness in the room. And when he finally spoke, "Leave."
Before Lucrezia could process those words, he rose to his feet. Immediately, every servant in the chamber lowered their heads and began moving toward the doors.
An overwhelming relief came swiftly at their retreat, until Vaeron started walking toward her. At that instance, the relief died instantly, and her eyes widened slowly as the horrifying realization settled into place.
No.
No, no, no—
"You cannot possibly be serious," She said at once, genuine alarm slipping into her voice now.
The heavy doors shut behind the last servant with a deep echoing thud, however, Vaeron did not stop walking. "I am always serious."
Lucrezia stared at him in disbelief. "That is even worse!"
"You would prefer the servants instead?"
"No!"
"Then I fail to see the issue."
"The issue... is you!" Lucrezia sputtered, obviously horrified, and that finally made something dangerously close to amusement flicker across his scarred face.
"Really?" he muttered.
Feigning ignorance wrapped by a fierce determination, "I am not letting you bathe me,"
"You are wounded."
"I do not care."
"You can barely stand."
Why do you care? Those words stayed at the tip of her tongue. Rather, "I will crawl there myself if necessary," She said, obviously unrelenting. When he didn’t respond, Lucrezia saw it as a sign to proceed with the last fragile piece of composure she had, hoping he would this time, heed to her refusal. "I do not require your assistance, my lord,"
Vaeron stopped beside the bed then, towering over her with effortless intimidation. Yet somehow, the closer he stood, the calmer he seemed—as though her resistance had already ceased to matter the moment he made his decision.
Lucrezia opened her mouth again, prepared to continue fighting him out of sheer principle, only for him to lean down slightly, his voice lowering into something smooth and unyielding.
"I do not recall asking for permission,"
Lucrezia opened her mouth again, prepared to argue further, only for pain to lance through her side from the movement alone. She inhaled sharply.
The ache was unbearable, and even so, totally against her will to remain independent regardless of circumstances. Even clutching the blankets too tightly strained her muscles. The thought of climbing from the bed and bathing herself without assistance suddenly seemed impossible.
Her stomach twisted. Vaeron’s expression remained unreadable, but there was something dangerous about the way he looked at her now.
Before she could recover, he stepped forward and slipped one arm carefully beneath her knees while the other settled behind her back. Lucrezia gasped softly as he lifted her effortlessly against his chest.