Ten Day Ultimatum

“Uhhh...I don’t think that’ll cut it,” Jiang Ten said. “Is there anything else? Something I can use to prop myself up and stand?”

Hearing this, Cui Fourteen from the neighboring room stepped forward, moving a little closer to Chen Junnan. “Captain, does Ten ge need something that can support his body? We have a divine sword here.”

“Bring it over now,” Jiang Ten shouted across the rooms without the slightest concern. “I’m missing my head and a leg right now. Fighting Terrestrial Rabbit like this is pretty uncomfortable...”

He paused, then adjusted his wording. “I mean... getting beaten by Terrestrial Rabbit like this is a bit uncomfortable.”

Cui Fourteen shook her head and unfastened the long sword from her back. This was a divine artifact belonging to the Immortal {Lü Dongbin}.

“Captain...” Cui Fourteen turned her head, her fair face practically glowing as she looked at Chen Junnan. “Should we give this to Ten ge?”

The middle-aged Wu Thirteen frowned slightly. “Hold on...helping Ten ge stand up isn’t the problem... but what if that Terrestrial Rabbit destroys the sword? Then we’d never be able to escape.”

“He won’t,” Chen Junnan said. “The {Earthly Branches} would never sever every path of survival in their games. If a prop needed to escape were destroyed, he himself would be violating the rules.”

“So that’s how it is,” Cui Fourteen nodded. “Then this sword—”

“Throw it here,” Chen Junnan said with a smile. “It might produce an unexpected effect.”

“An unexpected effect?” Cui Fourteen did not understand what Chen Junnan meant, but she still tossed the iron sword, which looked exceptionally sturdy, through the doorway. Chen Junnan caught it and immediately turned to throw it beside Jiang Ten.

Seeing this, Terrestrial Rabbit realized suddenly that things were about to take an unexpected turn. Just as he was about to rush forward to snatch the sword away, Jiang Ten’s body abruptly handsprung backwards. Accompanied by the agonized shriek of his head on the floor, he lunged straight toward the sword.

“Marvelous!” Jiang Ten’s head roared. “This grandpa finally has a suitable weapon! Demons, bow down to—”

He reached out to grab the divine sword, but his hand accidentally clamped straight onto the blade. With a shriek, he immediately let go and snatched for the hilt instead. “—OWWW!! Me and surrender!!!”

Chen Junnan covered his forehead. “I want nothing to do with this kid anymore. He looks completely fine. If anything, he’s enjoying himself far too much.”

Jiang Ten used the sword to brace himself against the ground and forced himself upright. Step by step, he staggered forward with great difficulty, then reached out and grabbed his own hair, tucking his head into the crook of his arm.

“I feel incredibly handsome right now.” Jiang Ten muttered under his breath. “Sword in one hand, head in the other. I look like a legendary figure...who was it again?”

Chen Junnan let out a long sigh. “There isn’t such a legendary figure. The closest you get is Xingtian*, but he wasn’t carrying his head, and he certainly wasn’t holding a divine sword.”

(TLN: Xingtian (刑天) is a Chinese deity who, after losing the fight for supremacy, was beheaded and his head buried in Changyang Mountain. Nevertheless, headless, with a shield in one hand and a battle axe in the other, he continues the fight, using his nipples as eyes and his bellybutton as a mouth.)

“Doesn’t matter!” the head in Jiang Ten’s hand shouted. “As long as I’m here...no one is getting past me!”

“That’s some momentum,” Chen Junnan shook his head. “Kid, if you can wield that sword properly, it should keep you from getting hurt again.”

“Oh?” Jiang Ten turned his upper body around at that, and the head in his hand asked solemnly, “What’s that supposed to mean? Do you have a strategy in mind?”

Seeing a headless upper torso turning toward him, Chen Junnan went momentarily blank.

“For fuck’s sake, turn your damn head around!” Chen Junnan shouted. “Why are you just twisting your upper body? Can you even see me like that?!”

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“Oh, my apologies.” Jiang Ten also realized how odd it was. He could only use his hand to turn the head he was holding as well. “If you have a strategy, please tell me. I will certainly do my part for everyone.”

“Alas... you have already done plenty,” Chen Junnan shook his head and continued, “but why do I feel like you and I are the same sort of people? Never letting anyone rest easy... Forget it. As I said earlier, {Earthly Branches} cannot destroy game props, meaning that {sword} in your hand is now your {shield}.”

“Hmm?” Jiang Ten froze for a moment. “That actually makes a lot of sense... He can’t destroy this divine sword...”

“But how badly you’ll get beaten,” Chen Junnan added calmly, “depends entirely on you.”

Hearing this, Jiang Ten grabbed his own head and nodded it several times. “Understood. Thank you for the strategy.”

“Stop nodding already! Isn’t that exhausting?!” Chen Junnan shouted. “Get ready for battle!”

Jiang Ten turned back around, once more facing Terrestrial Rabbit.

Terrestrial Rabbit, however, hesitated and scratched his head. “To kill you... do I have to pound you into minced meat?”

“That won’t work either,” Jiang Ten replied with a smile. “Even if you beat me into minced meat, I’d probably keep wriggling on the ground. {Unbreakable Spirit} is {Unbreakable Spirit}. You can’t annihilate me.”

“Monster...” Terrestrial Rabbit narrowed his eyes and muttered softly. “Does a {Reverberation} like that really exist...? This physique of yours... how is it any different from those four?”

“Those four? Are you saying this grandpa rivals the Four Heavenly Kings of the Southern Heavenly Gate? Hah!” Little Jiang Ten bellowed as he clutched his own head, then raised his divine sword high. “You fiend! Prepare to die!”

(TLN: The Four Heavenly Kings are guardians of the four cardinal directions in Buddhist belief (the Devarajas). In Journey to the West, they serve the Jade Emperor as martial enforcers sent to suppress Sun Wukong. This iconic confrontation still gets referenced and adapted, i.e. Black Myth Wukong, which featured the Four Heavenly Kings during its opening sequence. Read More)

Watching the child’s bearing, Chen Junnan felt that something about him was off.

A boy of no more than thirteen should have been lively and carefree, yet this one carried an air far beyond his years, speaking in a stream of words most people could barely make sense of.

“Fourteen jie,” Chen Junnan turned and asked toward the adjacent room, “what did your Ten ge do for a living before this?”

“He was an apprentice in pingshu,” Cui Fourteen replied. “When nights got dull, Ten ge would tell us stories from the pingshu storyteller’s repertoire.”

“Ping—” Chen Junnan nodded. “Sounds about right. A lineage of traditional performers huh...”

Their exchange had barely ended when Terrestrial Rabbit once again thrust out his fist and swung it at Jiang Ten. At the critical instant, Jiang Ten swung Lü Dongbin’s divine sword, slashing straight toward the incoming punch.

Terrestrial Rabbit’s fist, whistling through the air, halted just as it was about to collide with the blade.

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One human child and one rabbit froze on the spot, as if someone had hit the pause button.

“Hah!” Seeing the plan work, Jiang Ten shouted triumphantly. “Fiend! Behold as my {divine artifact} suppresses you!”

“You!” Terrestrial Rabbit furrowed his brow and slowly withdrew his fist. After several seconds of thought, a strange smile crept onto his face. “I understand now.”

“You understand?” Jiang Ten, just about to lose his balance, propped himself up with the sword. “What does a rabbit demon like you think you’ve figured out?”

“I understand what you’re trying to do,” Terrestrial Rabbit rubbed his white-furred fist, then tucked both hands into his pockets. “{Unbreakable Spirit}. If I simply ignore you... what can you do to me?”

“Ignore me...?” Jiang Ten blinked, a faint sense of unease stirring in his chest.