Tensei Shitanode Tsugi Koso wa Shiawasena Jinsei wo Tsukande Misemashou

Nothing, I had a faint feeling this would happen. I wasn't that dull, and I knew Jill's obsession, the depth of his obsession, was enough to say no. And the years Jill's been spending with Liz, I've been watching. I can see the love that he's imprinted with in mind.

Perhaps Liz is aware of that now. I've been instructed to like Jill to a certain extent. Be with Jill for a long time, supported by weaknesses, and be merciful and loving.

Knowing that, he chose Jill.

So this fits where it should, I guess that's what it is.

... Even if you know that, emotions are hard to control.

I understand it by reason, and I'm convinced by reason, but I don't want my emotions to acknowledge it. I wondered why I couldn't do it.

There's also a reason why I didn't tell you until the end. Before Jill's obsession became more overt, more from me, or maybe another result awaited. It's all just a possibility that it might be.

I don't know what's gonna happen. That's why regret doesn't stand first, and thinking about what if that doesn't make sense doesn't make the future brighter. It's all just a comfort to me.

... but.

... After all, I regret it.

I wanted to be happy with my hands. I wanted you to look at me and smile. I just wanted you to rely on me. I just wanted you to dye my cheeks.

I liked it, the innocent, energetic weather smile, the childish, obstinate look, the scuffle containing shame, and the worried look. I wanted to change it to all sorts of expressions with my hands, I wanted all of him.

It's all just my outrageous emotions now. I wish him happiness in the habits he sends out. I think it's shallow, and yet I even learn the odd emotional depth that it's something that's become so human to me.

From the day he saved me, I must have come to recognize myself as a 'Cecil-Steinbert'. It's not even a monster, just as one being.

I owe it to him to have me now, and because I had him and his family, I'm living such a full day. I've had days that I can't imagine since then, very happy, serene, pleasant.

... I'm sure my desire for more is mine.

Sometimes I wonder if I could be on my own. If you could not hang words to encourage consciousness, confess to deepen the stray, force him to take his lips, and wait for the passage of time as it was.

But I don't want to betray his trust. While I'm at it, I think it's contradictory, and maybe I can take it as a coward, a hypocrite who just doesn't want to be hated in the end.

... Still, I couldn't stomp on his happiness. I knew he'd be happy and couldn't prioritize my emotions and convenience. I want Liz to be happy with the light on me, I think she should be.

It's not a beautiful thing to pull yourself away from, it's just that when you swallow it and there's a funny day in it, I believe so. Until there comes a day when we can sublimate this thought and laugh at each other that this happened then.

Until then, rest your thoughts.

"I liked you."

Put that word down.