Chapter 365 - 184: Archrivals Cannot Become Wives
"I said, I can’t." Chu Xuan repeated, his tone becoming firm.
He silently released his hold on Gu Haitang, but Haitang hugged him tightly, "Chu Xuan!"
She started crying again, her voice filled with great fear and unease, "Don’t, don’t leave me again, don’t abandon me."
"I can do anything, change anything, you can tell me if you’re dissatisfied with me."
Gu Haitang loved humbly; she had never imagined before that loving someone could be so painful. The ten years apart from Chu Xuan were a dim, colorless decade for her, sometimes even feeling like she was living just for the sake of living.
If not for holding on to the hope of resolving misunderstandings and reconciling, she couldn’t have persisted until today.
Seeing the misunderstanding finally resolved, and Chu Xuan even apologized to her, Gu Haitang was very joyful at one point, thinking they could return to the intimate days of the past.
But why, why did Chu Xuan say they couldn’t get back together? Was it because he was going to be with other women?
Or because...
She choked out, "Do you still resent the incident where the Shangguan family secretly investigated you? Or the matter of Zichen spying on the Tao Palace’s secrets?"
Chu Xuan shook his head, reaching out his fingers to wipe away Haitang’s tears, but as soon as he wiped one away, another streamed down, as if her tears couldn’t stop flowing.
"Chu Xuan," Gu Haitang pleaded, "you still love me, don’t you?"
Chu Xuan’s gaze dimmed. He didn’t answer and even avoided meeting her eyes.
But Haitang was even more certain, "I know, you have always loved me, never changed."
"I’ve always regretted that when you asked if I approached you deliberately, I chose to hide rather than confess."
"If I had explained clearly from the start, the wedding wouldn’t have turned out like this."
"Chu Xuan, we can start over, it’s not too late for anything..." Gu Haitang looked at him pleadingly.
"I can even sever ties with the Shangguan family, leave the sect, and we can go somewhere no one will ever find us, and live as a loving couple."
Chu Xuan finally spoke again, gazing into her eyes seriously, "And what about your mother? Wouldn’t you want her anymore?"
"And your master, your relatives and friends, would you sever all ties with them for me?"
"I, I..." Gu Haitang showed a flustered expression for the first time.
Speaking of severing ties sounds simple, but her mother, master, and other elders have had great expectations for her since childhood, investing much effort and heart to cultivate her. If she just walked away like this, would she truly honor them?
Especially her mother, Gu Haitang knows she’s always wanted to avenge her husband, couldn’t do it herself, and pinned all hope on her daughter.
If she just eloped with Chu Xuan like this, how sad and desperate would her mother feel?
Chu Xuan sighed lightly, "Haitang, I don’t want to force you, nor do I want you to do this."
"As mentioned before, fate ultimately wasn’t on our side, let’s leave it at that."
"No! I don’t want," Gu Haitang broke down crying, "I only want to be with you, all I want is to be with you."
She buried her face in his chest and cried bitterly.
Chu Xuan felt as if his heart was being cut by a knife, but he couldn’t do otherwise.
The reason they couldn’t be together was simple: Chu Xuan had a premonition that his identity as the Celestial Evil Demon Venerable would ultimately be revealed.
By then, the Shangguan family would undoubtedly pursue him with all their might, relentlessly, and with Gu Haitang caught in the middle, how would she cope?
Chu Xuan had to keep his distance from her, even cut ties, so she could explain to her family; their union was doomed to be unhappy.
Thinking of this, Chu Xuan embraced Haitang again, whispering in her ear: "I’ll comfort you a little more for the last time, then we must part ways, take care of yourself afterwards."
"A reason! I want a reason." Gu Haitang looked into him with red eyes, biting her lip fiercely.
"If you can’t give me a convincing reason, I’d rather die in front of you than leave!"
Chu Xuan could see the resolve in her eyes, initially determined not to say anything, but now realizing if he didn’t speak, she might truly do something foolish.
After a long silence, he finally rasped: "We are sworn enemies, sworn enemies cannot become a wife..."
The tearful Gu Haitang froze, "Sworn enemies?"
"What do you mean by sworn enemies?"
Chu Xuan didn’t give much explanation. After a final kiss with the taste of her bitter lips, he steeled his heart and pushed her little by little away from himself.
Originally, Gu Haitang would never let go, but at this moment she gradually sensed a terrible possibility from those two words, "sworn enemies"...
Her face turned very pale, and even as Chu Xuan pushed her away, she didn’t quite react, as if her soul had left her body, only murmuring:
"Sworn enemies, sworn enemies..."
Chu Xuan finally turned away, leaving her, walking alone into the mountain mist, going to meet Qingqing as promised.
...
On Qingqing’s side, she was sitting on the ground, hugging her knees and sobbing, resembling a homeless, pitiable, helpless little girl.
It wasn’t until hearing Chu Xuan’s footsteps approaching that she lifted her head, feeling even more nervous and scared for a moment.
She quickly stood up, "Chu Xuan, I, I..."
Chu Xuan’s expression was calm, he simply opened his arms and embraced Qingqing, which made her extremely joyful and she burst into tears.