Chapter 493 - 37: [Who Wouldn’t Want to Be Randolph’s Family?]
Of course, Garnett only acted tough when people were around. If no one was there to break up a fight, he would be very calm.
Randolph was different. It didn’t matter if there was a crowd or not; if you pissed him off, he’d fight.
Isaiah Thomas had said more than once that Randolph’s personality was a bit like Oakley’s.
Oakley’s motto was "if you don’t submit, we fight." He couldn’t stand Barkley. After trading trash talk with him on the court, he saw Barkley at the hotel, rushed up, and gave him two hard slaps. It took Barkley a moment to even process what had happened; he thought it was just part of the game.
On the first day, Randolph went at it with Garnett. On the second day, he got into a shouting match with Shaun Marion.
They went to watch the Skills Challenge.
Steve Nash won the title.
But during the event, Marion insisted that Nash was the number one point guard in the NBA and that he was this year’s regular-season MVP.
Randolph, the "Family Man," couldn’t stand for that. Su Xi was his most important family.
He immediately retorted that Su Xi was the real MVP and the greatest point guard in history.
At first, it was a civilized debate, but it ended with them cussing each other’s mothers out.
Fortunately, Marion was more restrained, and the verbal attacks didn’t escalate too much.
Randolph also followed the principle of reciprocity; if his opponent didn’t use a higher level of verbal firepower, neither would he.
Overall, the intensity of this conflict was still relatively manageable.
The third day, however, was a bit less controllable.
During the photo shoot, Su Xi arrived late. Randolph insisted that the Eastern Conference All-Stars leave the center spot in the group photo open for him, arguing that even if Su Xi didn’t make it, he could be photoshopped in.
But James wasn’t having it. He said Su Xi was already in the wrong for being late, so why should they save the center spot for him? Besides, you can always tell when someone is photoshopped in. He suggested photoshopping him in on the side instead.
Randolph disagreed.
This year’s Eastern Conference All-Stars had 12 players in total. The five starters were: Su Xi, Wade, James, Randolph, and O’Neal.
The seven reserves were: Carter, Little O’Neal, Bosh, Ben Wallace, Arenas, Rasheed Wallace, and Billups.
Su Xi had dominated the East for the past two years, and most of these All-Stars had some sort of history or rivalry with him.
Randolph’s demand was, admittedly, a bit much.
So, for a moment, many people were criticizing Randolph.
Randolph finally laid down an ultimatum: If Su Xi isn’t here, then LeBron can’t stand in the center either.
James instantly flew into a rage. He said, "Are you targeting me?"
"I am targeting you."
As the two were arguing, Su Xi walked over.
The moment Su Xi arrived, Randolph stopped arguing, and the scene inexplicably quieted down.
Su Xi naturally took his place in the center, and no one raised any objections.
After all, was there anyone present who hadn’t been defeated by him?
To be honest, James was furious. ’I’m the number one pick from the 2003 draft, the league’s anointed "Chosen One," so how did I somehow end up getting pushed to the side?’
He figured it out. It was because Su Xi had a henchman. With Randolph making such a fuss, everyone just accepted that Su Xi should have the center spot.
’Dammit, I should groom a little brother of my own to make the All-Star team. Then I can just have him go argue with Su Xi’s guys.’
’Pitting my inferior horse against his superior one.’
So James thought to himself.
After the group photo, Su Xi took a few individual shots.
The starters took a few pictures together, and without exception, Su Xi was in the center for all of them.
Afterward, Su Xi took a few photos with Randolph, Little O’Neal, and Arenas.
On this year’s Eastern Conference Team, Su Xi’s relationship with these three was undoubtedly the closest.
Of course, he had no issues with O’Neal, Wade, or Carter either. Everyone was getting along amicably. They even gathered to chat, and Su Xi asked Randolph how he ended up arguing with Garnett.
The moment it was mentioned, Randolph got angry again. He fumed, "That guy actually insulted my family! Who does he think he is, always acting like he’s better than everyone else? Just look at the mess he’s made of the Minnesota Timberwolves! What’s the difference between him on the Timberwolves and LeBron James on the Cavaliers? Their whole teams are built to pump them up. They want fame, stats, *and* money—they take every advantage they can get, then complain that the team isn’t meeting their needs. At least I’m not like them, right?"
Randolph had a loud voice, so it was hard for James not to overhear.
But he didn’t want to argue with Randolph; it was beneath him. He was increasingly determined to find a "little brother" of his own, specifically to cause trouble for Su Xi.
"And then he made it personal! He said fat guys have small dicks. Where’d he even hear that bullshit?" Randolph said indignantly. "Shaq, you’re a fat guy too. You tell me, do fat guys have small dicks?"
"Uhh..."
O’Neal was stunned by Randolph’s probing question. He looked a little guilty, but he answered forcefully, "Of course not. We’re all big guys."
"Right, that’s not accurate. I have a good friend who knows a woman in California who makes... *adult films*. She says if you want to know if a guy’s dick is small, you have to look at his neck. Short neck means short, thin neck means thin..."
Wade stopped mid-sentence. Because Randolph had turned around, and his head barely rotated, for the simple reason that he had almost no neck.
What the hell.
Right then and there, Randolph started pulling down his pants.
Look at that temper. He couldn’t hold back for even a second.
"Don’t do it! Don’t do it!" Su Xi quickly tried to stop him.
But Randolph had already dropped his basketball shorts. He gestured at his compression tights, mumbling, "Look, from here... to here..."
After demonstrating, he turned to O’Neal and said, "Shaq, you take your shorts off too. Let’s measure the outlines."
O’Neal immediately shrank back.
"I don’t think that’s necessary."
"We’re all men, what are you afraid of?"
"It’s indecent, indecent!"
O’Neal waved his hands dismissively.
He quickly headed to the court to get warmed up.
This was the most diligent O’Neal had ever been at an All-Star Game in his entire career.
Afterward, O’Neal said to Su Xi, "Is there something wrong with Zach Randolph’s intelligence? Why is he like that?"
Su Xi just smiled.
The evening’s game soon arrived.
This year’s Western Conference All-Star starters were: Nash, Kobe, Tracy McGrady, Duncan, and Yao Ming.
The seven reserves were: Iverson, Marion, Parker, Ray Allen, Gasol, Nowitzki, and Garnett.
In terms of age, the Western Conference All-Stars were a bit older.
When the All-Stars from both conferences were introduced, the Houston fans cheered loudly. For the Eastern Conference All-Stars, the cheers reached their peak when Su Xi was announced. For the West, the peak was for Kobe.
His cheers surpassed even those for Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady.
Kobe was on another level this year. His scoring average was currently over 36 points per game. In an NBA where teams averaged less than 100 points, him alone scoring over 36 a night was just brutal.
Plus, he had the god-like achievement of dropping 71 points on Su Xi’s head.
After this season, Kobe’s status had completely surpassed the other three of the "Four Great Shooting Guards." Nike had given him a new signature shoe, and his nickname had changed from "Little Flying Hero" to "Black Mamba."
He was beginning a new era of his own.
More and more people were willing to call him the number one perimeter player, and it seemed only he could keep Su Xi in check.
Su Xi was delighted by Kobe’s scoring explosion. The more ferociously Kobe scored, the happier Su Xi was. After all, his own super offensive skills were copied from Kobe. The more dominant Kobe was, the more dominant he would become in the future.
In fact, he would be even more dominant than Kobe.
After all, he was more athletic.
TWEET!
The whistle blew, and the game began.
O’Neal and Yao Ming faced off for the jump ball.
O’Neal lost.
He was a little afraid to jump because Randolph was staring intently at him.
O’Neal was now somewhat avoiding Randolph’s gaze. He felt like Randolph was observing him.
He didn’t like it.
As is tradition in the All-Star game, nobody played seriously at the start.
Nash brought the ball past half-court and passed it to Kobe, who then passed it to Tracy McGrady. McGrady drove into the paint for a powerful dunk.
The idea on the Western Conference Team this year was to let Tracy McGrady get the All-Star MVP.
After all, McGrady had been playing for so many years, but besides a Most Improved Player award and two scoring titles on bad teams, he didn’t have any other significant trophies. Since he was a hometown player this year, they figured they might as well let him get an MVP, as a nice gesture.
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