Chapter 1434 - 1252: Bound to My Cycle of Life and Death (3)
That day, he had a big fight with Song Yansheng.
Then he decided to give up on Shi Nuan, to completely hand her over to Song Yansheng.
Song Yansheng chose to announce in public that he and Shi Nuan were already married, which took him by surprise.
But his shock wasn’t because Song Yansheng made the relationship public, it was that Song Yansheng and Shi Nuan had been married for a long time.
They were husband and wife, husband and wife!
And he, in his ignorance, had done so many wrong things.
He had thought so little of Shi Nuan, assuming she was Song Yansheng’s secret lover.
Ji Xia told him that when Shi Nuan had the car accident, it was Song Yichuan who saved her. She harbored hatred in her heart, willing to sacrifice anything for revenge, even her own marriage and love.
She had used Song Yichuan, but harbored guilt towards him and always saw him as a brotherly figure; there was never any romantic involvement between them.
As for Song Yansheng, at the time, Li Guirong and her daughter framed her; if it weren’t for Song Yansheng, she might have ended up in jail.
Song Yansheng was willing to help her, with marriage as the condition. She didn’t want to accept, but what other choice did she have?
No, there was no other choice.
Ji Xia said: "Shen Zui, I have to acknowledge that you once gave Nuannuan a beautiful time. Those days were probably the happiest days for Nuannuan after the lady passed away, but why did you give her light yet leave before you could completely illuminate her heart? It was you who pushed Nuannuan to Song Yichuan, and then to Song Yansheng; it was you who failed Nuannuan..."
Shen Zui sat in the car, leaning his head on his manager’s shoulder, his eyes half-closed.
Though the light in the car was dim, the sparkling fragments in his eyes were visible to Qi Ruison, who was driving in front.
He knew why Shen Zui was shedding tears, but at this point, the time they shared had passed, never to return. What use were tears?
It was a midsummer seven years ago.
On a weekend, Shen Zui arranged to go to the city library with Shi Nuan to read books.
Originally, he had wanted to invite her to play sports, but Shi Nuan preferred to be lazy on weekends.
Rather than making her sweat, she preferred to find a quiet place to read.
Loving someone means accompanying her in doing the things she likes.
Shen Zui was willing to spend the whole day with her in the library.
That day, the weather was sultry, and the library hadn’t turned on the air conditioning.
He probably felt somewhat irritable, leading to his eventual restlessness.
In contrast, Shi Nuan sat quietly, absorbed in a collection of Tagore’s poetry, seemingly unaffected by the heat.
He stayed seated for a while, finally unable to endure it, and got up saying: "I’ll go buy two bottles of water!"
Shi Nuan did not lift her head, softly responded with "En," and Shen Zui sighed, truly she was a bookworm.
He went to buy water, spent some time in a nearby ice cream shop to cool down, and then returned.
Upon returning, Shi Nuan still sat there quietly with her book, and he stood there for a few seconds, thinking this girl was truly beautiful.
Like a painting, beautiful.
Yet, it seemed they had different preferences, as he truly wasn’t fond of reading.
He walked over and handed the water to Shi Nuan.
Shi Nuan responded with "En," but didn’t take it.
He sat beside her and asked: "Is this poetry so engrossing?"
Shi Nuan responded with another "En," and said: "Yes, Tagore’s poems are very beautiful!"
"Oh, then which poem of his do you like best? I like ’The Furthest Distance in the World’..."
Shi Nuan’s lips moved as she said: "I like ’In Life and Death Together,’ I think that’s the kind of love I want..."
He paused for a moment and asked: "What kind?"
Then, Shi Nuan slowly recited the poem to him in her gentle, lilting voice.
He nodded after listening, and said: "It truly is a great love, I’m touched..."
It was only then that Shi Nuan looked up at him, and he was stunned, asking her what she was looking at.
Shi Nuan smiled faintly, shaking her head: "Nothing..."
At that time, he couldn’t hear the great disappointment and despair hidden in her words.
Ji Xia said: "Nuannuan once sincerely wanted to be with you. If you hadn’t left, neither Song Yichuan nor Song Yansheng could have taken her from you. But you left her first, after she went through so much; what did you expect her to do? What could she do?"
——In my void and vast heart,
——You are my quest,
——The distant, tranquil evening clouds.
——I shape you,
——With my full warmth—
——You belong to me,
——Galloping across my boundless heart.
——My heart’s blood stains your feet red,
——At dusk, you wander in my dreams.
——The arsenic, ambrosia upon your lips
——Is my ground joys and pains—
——You belong to me,
——Lingering in my solitary life.
——In my enchanted pupils, you are carefree,
——Eyelids brushed with my fantasy’s black haze.
——The song I sing
——Wraps tight your waist—
——You belong to me,
——Accompanying me in my cycle of life and death.
Now, seven years later, sitting in the car, Shen Zui thought of that line, "accompanying me in my cycle of life and death," and felt a tangled mass of pain in his heart, pulling without relief.
Yet the one meant to accompany her in life and death was destined never to be him, Shen Zui, ever again.
————This Chapter is 4450 words——————